I am looking at the search for love as a battle. The prize is finding my true soul-mate (and I accept no imitations!)
After losing a war, when do you get back in the battlefield? I am probably going against the majority when I say you have to get back as soon as possible! Before you allow the task to seem too daunting!
I have lost a lot of wars and perhaps I will lose a few more, but with each one I gain more knowledge about what kind of warrior I am. With each loss I don’t lose faith, I gain assurance that I am one step closer. Each war lost is a step towards the goal; it is one road block removed. It is an impostor gone, making room for the real thing.
I may retreat for a moment to regain my energy and equilibrium. I cry, I pray, I make adjustments, I improve and I get back on the horse.
With such high stake on the line I cannot afford to be too scared or too tired to fight. Taking too long to re-start the battle makes the task seem insurmountable. If I stay away too long I may become intimidated, I may think my enemy is stronger than I am. I may develop self defeating thoughts. If I allow such thoughts to populate my mind I have lost the battle before I even started.
The search for a partner does not mean unhappiness. I am happy alone. The search for a partner means that I believe in romance and fairy tale and I am not willing to let that go no matter how difficult the battle proves to be. I want someone to be my refuge and fortress and I want to be his. I want to slow dance this long song called Life with someone special!
I don’t need a partner, I want one! Is it my right? No! Is it my obligation? No! It is a pleasure and a dream that I am willing to go after and fight for! Well, in a way I guess it is a need, since my heart needs love to survive!
So I show up ready for a fight! And I use all weapons that God gave me.
I don’t spend any energy thinking about what went wrong in the past. So perhaps I could have done things different, not revealed my game so soon, noticed the signs, but why stay there in the past? The past losses are not the center of my memories. I look at how well I fought even when I lost. I look at how I fought with integrity and not taking shots below the belt. I take the good moments in the battlefield, I count my losses and I move on.
And I spend even less time worrying about what can go wrong in the future. All around us are people and things trying to defeat us, so I make a point of being in my own corner, of being my own cheerleader! I am positive and think I can win until I the last bell has sounded. I look at the bottom line, I think at what I am about to gain! Above all I enjoy the battle itself, that maneuvering and outmaneuvering that goes on like an intricate dance! For a warrior battle is life!
I also like to think that by not staying away from the fight I am honoring God and Life. God gave me a heart full of love to give. God made passion my essence. I am not going to negate my true self to appease the ones that think it is too soon or it is too much of a long shot! I like challenges, the harder I have to fight the sweeter will be the taste of victory!
Hey Universe, hear me loud and clear: I still believe! I don’t doubt love for a moment. I am ready, willing and able! I will be in my deathbed believing my true soul-mate is somewhere out there and he will eventually, not only find me, but fight for me!
shhh! Do you hear that? oh, it is just the Universe conspiring to give me what I want!
Reading your post this thought came to my mind:
You will win this battle when you dare to capitulate. It would be interesting to have a dialogue on this theme.
Julien
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Capitulate? Never thought of it in that way! You may be on to something! Very interesting food for thought!!
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I was not talking to your thought, more to your heart-perception. 🙂
You may be interested to read this:
http://julienmatei.com/2012/06/26/can-we-recognize-what-we-ask-for/
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Awesome post! Kudos!
“I want to slow dance this long song called Life with someone special!”…..YES! Ditto! I’m so glad I’ve “met” another soul who still believes in the magic and mystery of love.
Bless,
Lee
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Thank you! Thank you! Me too! sometimes it seems the world is not for lovers! 🙂
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It is…..we just have to find the lovers out there 🙂
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I’m with you! Keep putting that message out to the Universe…. You might have to be patient a while – and you might have to say, “No, Universe, that’s not exactly what I meant” – but it will happen. Step by step…
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Patience? Working on that, but it doesn’t come easily to me. Indeed, slowly but surely! Thank you for your comment and many blessings to you! 🙂
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found my soulmate when I stopped looking –but it was not on purpose–in my case the watched pot never boiled
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That is what people say, and that is what I am trying, going about my business and improving myself and hopefully attract the right person! 🙂
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Great post! Love the warrior’s spirit you’ve got going on. Very inspirational.
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Thank you for the kind words!!! Blessings! 🙂
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I too believe all the things you say about love and I love your attitude. And when the real thing comes along there is no doubt, there is no questioning your actions, there is no hesitation. I know because when I finally just said, “It’s in your hands God,” and quit pushing, the love of my life appeared (reappeared in my case after losing contact for 36 years). We knew exactly what to do.
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Thank you for your comment! I find now that I am more relaxed and at a good place in my life. If it is meant to be the right person and I will find a way to meet and be together. Until I am loving life and improving myself!! So happy for you that love reappeared and that you went for it! Blessings 🙂
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Excellent post! “Hope springs eternal” and for you, strong warrior, I believe your faith will bring you what you seek! Best of luck in your fight for true & lasting happiness!
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Thank you!! Belief and showing up is have of the battle, so I am half way there!! Thank you for the best wishes and many blessings to you! 🙂
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I don’t see it as a battle… more like chess… and to some extent, i hate the guessing game that has to be played right at the beginning of it all… does she like me? How much does she like? I called on Tuesday and now it’s Thursday… would I seem too keen if I called her? Would she think I was bothering her?
When I was married I used to think “thank God I don’t have to play those games any more” and now I’m (semi) single, I think “I really don’t want to play those games… I think I’ll just wait and see what happens” because that’s usually when something does LOL
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I definitely think that chess mirrors like life, but since is a game and frankly, I love games, but when it comes to love I rather have none of it. And being a warrior and not a player, a battle to me was a better analogy.
Now, what you call games at the beginning, I like to think of as a slow dance, where 2 partners try to be in the same rhythm. I see it as fun and intriguing. I try never try to guess what the other person is thinking,
Wait and see is probably a better approach to love, but it is not my nature, I was always more of a person that likes to make things happen. The key is try to make things happen without forcing it.
I don’t always know how to dance every song, but I do have rhythm and a passion for dance!
Enjoy being single! See it as a gift, that it is!! Happy Thursday!!
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beautiful words ♥
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thank you! 🙂
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You will succeed .As long you have the will. Best wishes
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and will I have plenty! Thank you for the words and best wishes! Blessings to you! 🙂
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Reblogged this on Roshan's Blog ♥.
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Reblogged this on Life In The Dash Lane (1962 – ?) and commented:
“The search for a partner does not mean unhappiness. I am happy alone. The search for a partner means that I believe in romance and fairy tale and I am not willing to let that go no matter how difficult the battle proves to be. I want someone to be my refuge and fortress and I want to be his. I want to slow dance this long song called Life with someone special!”
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now I remember!! it was THIS avatar that said big Ben had red flags all over the place…lol
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oh, Lee, my reblogger friend. She is observant and wise, so if she saw red flags I believe. Plus I think the virgin thing is big red flag itself!
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I’m soooooo lost right now. Red flags? HUH? LOL
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we were talking about my buddy “Big Ben”, the 40yr old virgin…lol
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I like the way you write: with such freedom. I, too, believe in love and always will. We will win this battle! *Puts on helmet*
Keep the posts comin’!
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Thank you so much! I am glad that there you are a “believer of love” like me! and win we will!! Thank you for the great compliment!! Many blessings to you! 🙂
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I never thought of love as a battle, but something more of competition. Gotta get to that person before your competitor does 🙂
good luck with the battle though, interesting perspective.
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Love, I guess, can be anything, sometimes a chess game, but since when I wrote that I was feeling battered and bruised I equated with a battle!
Let the game begin! 🙂
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let the game begin?lol…thats too minor league’ish. How about, “Let get readty to RUUUUUMMMMBBLE!!”(per Michael buffer)…lol.
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you are so right! I like the sound of that much better!! … and there is nothing minor league’ish about me!! How is your friend doing by the way?
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haha, you are right about that!
Which friend are you referring to? I think I blogged about 3 friends so far: 1.The 40yr old virgin, 2. one that ruined his reputation from lying about winning the mega million jackpot, or 3. my buddy that had near death experience in a car wash?
Take your pick..lol
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you have an interesting assortment of friends – lol. the 40 year old virgin and his quest to find a damsel. I have to got o your blog and read about the other 2.
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give me heads up before coming over, so I can roll out the red carpet…lol
I’m glad we are on the subject of big Ben, because there is lot to write on the situation. My observation is, women seems to handle loneliness and depression better than men with loneliness and depression. Big Ben can’t openly talk about his feelings and get warm hugs and “awe”s from people. Just something weird about seeing 6’3” grown man getting all teary and feeling sorry for himself. I think as a societ we are more biased to helping a damsel in distress than a fully grown man. I can only handle so much of it and I gotta tell him he needs stop and go talk to a woman about 90% of things thats in his mind, woman he doesn’t have. I hear women can talk about ANYTHING with their girfriends, guys cannot do that 😦
He made an attempt to dating a 20something year old girl, not too long ago. It wasn’t working out for him. He said they were on completely different conversation scale. I told him she looked like his daughter. So I’m pretty sure that relationship ended.
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Lol, I will!
I do agree that women can handle loneliness and depression better than men. Also society has no problem with women being open about their feelings while a man, let alone, a 6’3 grown man, can be frowned upon.
I hear that also about women and their girlfriends, but I am not comfortable crying my eyes out to a girlfriend – I do it in blog with no problems. Perhaps that is the answer for Ben: a blog. That way he can pour his heart out and end up making friends in the process.
Somebody half his age is not an answer. It can be a welcome distraction if you are able to separate things but I don’t think that Ben can.
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I told him to blog and see what happens, but he hates writing. Creative/expressive writing is not his forte, far from it. So bad that I had to write his eharmony page so he can at least get some interest 😦
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oh too bad!! my experience with e-harmony is that even the best of the profiles and pictures don’t make a difference – I have had 1 date in 3 months. No even the creeps contact me. I am right now writing a post right now of how happy I am that the membership is coming to end!
Best of luck to Ben…Our day will come!!! 🙂
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Ben will need more than just luck..lol. Especially after a female commenter made a remark that he has “red flags” all over…lol. Come to think of it, I need to ask that commenter what she meant by that.
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hey, I have a friend that is attracted to red flags. The more red flags a guy has the more she falls for them!! lol funny, and sad, but true!
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rofl, repeated offense like that would be considered a red flag against her…hahaha
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I am telling you, she is a magnet for the undesirable! I gave up on showing her the error of her ways.
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here is a novel idea. Go on a date with a guy she absolutely hates…lol
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why didn’t I think of that?? lol
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oh, and I can’t say anything bad about eharmony. To my surprise, I personally know of 4couples that met through e-harmony and they are popping babies out left and right. So don’t give up on that just yet 🙂 and I’m sure your big day will come, because I can’t seem to find any red flags on you, yet…lol You are not a lawyer, judge, or a doctor, are you?
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No, I am not giving up. I believe in Divine Timing, the timing is not right yet. I didn’t have dreams of meeting the “one” in e-harmony either, but I thought I would get at least few dates – oh well!
I am a great person, but then again, bad people don’t go around advertising they are bad! – lol
Lol, none of those professions, I am in the financial field.
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its amazing how many single men refuse to marry a woman in those other occupations…lol.
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really? I didn’t know that. inferiority complex comes to mind.
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my thought exactly..lol
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We are young…heartache to heartache, we stand….no promises, no demands…both of us knowwwwwwing…
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yep, Pat Benatar did come to mind when I wrote that! 🙂
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showing my age, I guess….:)
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lol, age is just a number, you are only as old as you feel, blah, blah, blah.
but seriously, 46 is so not me!! 26 is more my speed! 🙂
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You’re only as young as the one you feel?
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hahaha, ok 26 it is then!!
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Thanks for stopping by at Colltales. Will come back . All the best.
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You are welcome! Blessings! 🙂
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Thank you for passing by and the following 🙂
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Thank you for this. It seems like this week I’ve been fortunate to come across three or four really positive posts (and not the false, brittle positivity I so often see; maybe I haven’t been looking in the right places).
You know, we all have personal rules for when a person should date or do anything, and we forget (at least I tend to!) that what is right for us, isn’t necessarily right for another. Do what makes you happy (not always the same thing as what makes you feel good).
Keep your eyes open, and you will find your someone. Maybe not tomorrow…but maybe tomorrow, who knows? Life is funny. But I really think that if you keep your attitude the way it is and your eyes open, good things will find you.
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Thank you for the great comment! I agree with you, oftentimes we are too worried about the way society wants and expects us to behave. According to society I should be/have been married, at least once, and have a couple of kids. But like you said that life wasn’t right for me. So indeed I am going to continue to be happy and follow my heart and my dreams. I know the Universe will conspire to give me what I need.
Now I gotta go see what you are up to!
A day full of blessings to you! 🙂
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You and me are in the same boat on that one. I am not “with”, but I have not lost faith, either. The world is open for eyes willing to see.
To willingness!
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“The world is open for eyes willing to see!” – I love that! Gotta go read more of your blog – I love your sense of humor, like me, a willingness to laugh at yourself! Blessings! 🙂
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Live in an armory, be ready to drop an arm
live in a nursery, drop a seed
live in the now, drop a moment
live, love, laugh .. embrace powerlessness
great post and lots of great comments
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Clever! and “embrace powerlessness” is probably the one think that Miss Control Freak here needs to learn the most! Blessings to you! 🙂
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blessings back – all of mine and more!!!!!
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🙂
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Love this so much!!! Standing with you believing that God’s best will find you!!! Blessings to you!!!
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Thank you! I am glad that you believe as I believe! Life is amazing and I am blessed, there are some bumps on the road, but it just makes life more interesting! Blessings to you too! 🙂
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A great, though poignant post. I see that in my life I have won several battles in love but never the war. Now, as I recognize the sunset of my present existence, I realize there will be no more battles and the war as a whole is lost in this one area. But that’s okay. It was worth the fight and the risks and the failures. There will be another existence and another war. Maybe I’ll win next time. I hope you do this time around. Never give up. I’m rooting for you!
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Thank you! It saddens me that you are talking as your life is over. I like to believe that there is always hope, anything can happen in an instant.
I am never giving up and I wish you didn’t either. With that being said I have hope that my soulmate is sowewhere out there, but I also recognize that perhaps it will not happen for me in this lifetime, and that is ok also.
I just plan on loving and living 100% any chance I get!!
Thank you for being in my corner and I am in yours too! Many blessings to you! 🙂
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My life is not over but my days of being “sweetly dangerous to women” as Rostand would say are. I merely recognize that fact. There are plenty of other avenues left to explore but a relationship requires time I no longer have. Next time around I intend to snag the gold ring! This time around for you! Thanks for your blessings, back at ya! 🙂
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“sweetly dangerous to women” – I love that! I wish then that you make the most of your time left in all the avenues that you choose to pursue. I will visit your blog often and see what you are up to. Perhaps we will have a chance to celebrate my golden ring!! 🙂
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Lovely.
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Thanks: Blessings! 🙂
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