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Today it would have been 3 years together. The ex corrected me on a text the other day saying that is not” would be” but “are”.  Are? Are we still together? I guess we have different ideas of what it means to be together.

When you hint (well, more than hint) that I should move out and I do, we are not together!

When we see each other once a week when you have time, we are not together!

When you warn me that you are not doing anything for Valentine’s Day, no flowers, no card, no dinner, we are not together!

When I am not first, second, third, fourth or fifth in your priority list, we are not together!

What I am is convenient! I am here for when you need/want!  The sad part is that I am better than that!  But right now I feel I don’t have the strength to change anything.

I decided to just love and make no judgement about anything.  I have to be honest that deciding to just love has been freeing.  It has made me lighter.

On this 3 year anniversary would be, I thank God for the time ex and I spent together. I thank ex for all he taught me and all he introduced me to. Thank you ex for the trips you have taken me to.  thank you for introducing me to tennis and skiing.  Thank you for treating me like a Princess (well until you didn’t anymore).

I have no regrets of our time together.  I have no regrets of ever loving you and for loving you still! I will love you forever.  I am trying to move on as best as I can. I am trying to hold it all together. I thank God for the good memories that I will cherish forever.

May we be able to remain friends, supporters and fans of each other.  May my heart not turn to stone, but become so huge and soft that will encompass all!

From my heart and soul I wish you ex all the best, may God guide you and open all the doors that have remained stubbornly closed.  I wish you find what you are looking for. I wish you happiness, contentment, harmony and peace!!  With love for all that to be with me, but perhaps the Universe has other ideas, so please be happy and send the world happiness!!!

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What I really wanted today was to receive flowers from him at my desk. What I received was a text saying “Happy 3 yr anniversary, wish we could be together more”.  Not that I want to be picky, but where is the “I love you”??

Come on, Miss Blessed, you said you decided to love, so just love and be grateful you got that and move on!!! Just breath!!!!!!

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I knew that today would be a major difficult day.  The anniversary coupled with PMS, and is also Chiefy’s birthday.  Chiefy is the ex’s dog.  I came to love and care about that dog like I never cared about any creature before. Today, and actually, any time I think of him (which happens on a daily basis) I say a prayer to Saint Francis – the patron saint of the animals.

Today Chiefy, on your 8th birthday may God protect and guide you. May Saint Francis be always watching you! May you have long health, shiny coat, water, food and warm bed.

I love you Chiefy!!

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