being strong, clue, clueless, forgetting him, loving me, silent prayer, stop the insanity, taking power back
I need to stop driving myself crazy over ex. I already know that ex doesn’t want me, well he wants me but once a week. So why do I get upset when he tells me he is getting together with the people at his gym?
ok, perhaps because there is that instructor there the insinuated herself to him. Why does he tell me stuff like this? Is he manipulating me or he really is clueless?
At any rate,all this is besides the point. The point is I need to take the power back. I keep giving him power over me. And his life is going on, like nothing ever happened, like I don’t matter, while I fall apart and try my best to behave and act normal and pretend I am thriving.
I need to do like I did with my boss. He is the same sign as I am, Aries, and we are both stubborn. But he is the boss, well, I am one of the partners here too, but since he holds the majority of the shares he is the boss. Anyway, he used to make me cry often. We used to get in heated arguments often. One day I vowed to myself that if he ever made me cry again I would quit. Since that day I never cried over work again. I stopped arguing. I let him have the last word. And I have to say that it feels amazing. I have taken the power back and it feels incredible!
So now I just have to take the power that I gave ex to affect my mood. And I have to do it now!
I have moments of obsession about him, and I know better. I know that we are over. I know that if we didn’t work while living in the same house we will not work now living apart.
Sad thing is I thought that we were doing well and happy! He was not!
He says it is better this way so he can focus on his work, focus on making his businesses successful again and work on getting his kids back (on this I will speak later… I will just say for now that it is one of the worst injustices I have ever seen, and I miss both kids terribly), and he needs to be single to do that.
Agreeing or disagreeing with that, I need to accept it and move on! I want to preserve the friendship. But is it worth?
Remember I said I decided to just love and not worry about anything else. I am going to put all my effort into just doing that. And stop thinking too much about it.
If I am free and available and wanting I will see him, otherwise I will pass.
I will not ask what he is doing. It doesn’t matter!
I will not ask with whom is he going out with. It doesn’t matter!
Nothing he does or doesn’t do will ever affect me again!
It will take careful policing. It will take stopping and breathing and not acting impulsively. It will take effort until it doesn’t anymore and it is just second nature!
He is doing nothing to me! I am doing to myself! So I will stop!! From now on, if he or any ideas about him come to mind I will say a silent prayer asking God to bless him and I will put him out of my mind.
I know I will succeed. I have faith! I am strong! I will be so much better off for deciding to put myself first and stopping the insanity!
Here is to me and my amazing bright future that starts today!!!!
I love me!!!!