Tag Archives: single

I didn’t volunteer, I saw the rockettes, I missed my station, I ate Irish Soda bread, I am in love with my ski boots, I am thinking of craigslist as a viable option, andI am looking forward to bread again!

18 Tuesday Dec 2012

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating

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I am so exhausted today that I fell asleep in the train on the way home from work.  I missed my stop and woke up in another state.  I woke up in Stamford, CT, okay it is only 30/40 minutes from my home in NY, but still, at the end of a long day at work all I wanted to do was get home and not have to 40 minutes past my home, then have to wait 20 minutes for the next train back.

Luckily my co-worker had given me a loaf of Irish soda bread (which I am nuts for lately), so enjoyed my train ride back eating bread – I had to do something not to fall asleep again! Plus lately if I go more than 3 hours without eating I go nuts.  The bread he gave me looks exactly like the one in this picture.

I am a bit down that I was not called upon to volunteer on Saturday.  I had pretty much my heart set on volunteering every Saturday for the rest of my life.  I love the cleaning and gutting of the houses, I love manual labor.  I am not sure why I was not asked to go.  I had sent an e-mail and didn’t receive a reply.  Since the person in charge knows my intentions I felt weird contacting her again.  I hate being pushy about anything.  I know that not being a good worker is not reason they haven’t called, as a matter of fact, I was singled out as working too hard in a smelly storage shed.  Perhaps they thought I was a show off! 🙂 oh well, I am sending another email tomorrow asking about next Saturday. If I don’t hear anything I am looking for agencies to contact, or perhaps I am going to go out knocking on doors and offering help.

Sunday I went to The Radio City Christmas Show.  The man I met on E-harmony ( from this post http://atomic-temporary-33385295.wpcomstaging.com/2012/05/29/first-e-harmony-date/) came to his farm in upstate NY and stopped in NY City to take me out.  He knows we are just friends but I think that he is hoping that things will change.  I don’t see how.  I don’t see how can chemistry magically appear.  We do have a great time together, but I am not sure if continuing the friendship will only give him false hope.  And the last thing I want to do is hurt anyone.

The show was great, the Rockettes rocked!  I was seated in the same row as Jimmy Fallon.  Some people were going nuts because of him and asking for autographs, pictures, etc.  I am thinking: what is the big deal he is just a human being, it is not like he is Ben Afleck, in which case I would be going nuts!

My co-worker is on vacation so things are busier than usual for me. We are also having to deal with a lot of new regulations in our industry.  We under the wire, in danger of having our doors closed come 2013. Yep, a bit stressing!

But in all the stress, I am dreaming about a skiing vacation. To feel that I am close to going skiing I went ahead and bought myself skiing boots.  I am like a child, every now and then I open the box and look at them!

I was going to go somewhere close by in the Northeast, but I will have to rent a car, so it seems simpler to just jump on a plane.  Since I am going to Colorado in February, I am thinking either Utah or Canada in January, but there are so many choices. (suggestions on good (cheap) resorts for beginners are welcomed and appreciated 🙂 )

One of the problems with singlehood is when you see a great vacation deal and you are ready to buy and then you read the small print that says: double occupancy! I saw this great deal on this luxury hotel in Whistler, almost too good to be true,  I tried to book it and there it is, that double occupancy requirement to mess things up. 🙂

You know you are desperate when you consider putting an ad on craigslist for a travel companion. 😦

Got run, I want to get to bed earlier.  I don’t want a repeat of falling asleep on the train tomorrow… and the sooner I go to sleep, the sooner I can get up and have Irish soda bread with coffee.  I am so blessed and happy!!

Counting the days until I am free from e-harmony!

26 Thursday Jul 2012

Posted by in Dating

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I joined e-Harmony about 5 months ago. When I joined I didn’t have grand illusions of finding “the One”. I simply wanted to go on dates every now and then. I guess my real hope was that the attention of men would keep my mind off of Ex.

From the beginning e-Harmony was a letdown. In the second month I wrote about it: http://atomic-temporary-33385295.wpcomstaging.com/2012/05/14/so-far-e-harmony-sucks/

From there things just gotten worst!

I am glad that my sentence, I mean subscription, is coming to an end at the end of the month. I am tired of feeling rejected by people that I don’t even know and that don’t even know me.   I think that there is something very wrong with e-Harmony.  I don’t know what the problem is, but there has to be an explanation for the lack of responses I have received.  And I know, I know that some of you know at least one couple that met through e-Harmony, still I think that the number of happy couples is probably very low when compared with the number of total members they have.

I have an honest profile (describing exactly who I am and what I want) and honest pictures (nothing professional, but pictures showing what I love to do, skiing, at the US Open, on vacation). What I want in a man? Honesty is the number one requirement. I want a man that likes himself, likes to travel, has a good heart, has a sense of humor. I appreciate a man that loves his family, likes animals and is curious about the world. It would be nice if he likes sports – both watching and playing. I want a man that is spiritual and believes in God.  I want a man that looks to improve himself, physically and mentally.  I don’t think I am asking too much.  At any rate, I am only asking for what I am willing to offer.

I have had a grand total of 1 date! Yes only 1! I know it is quality and not quantity that I should be after but only 1 in 5 months sounds a bit ridiculous. I must say that that one date was terrific even though there was no love connection. I wrote about it here:  http://atomic-temporary-33385295.wpcomstaging.com/2012/05/29/first-e-harmony-date/ I am even going to visit him in a couple of weeks. So I should count myself lucky for having made a friend.  But honestly I signed up to get dates.

The last couple of months I wasn’t even checking e-harmony anymore. I just have been waiting for my subscription to be over, so that I stop feeling like I am paying to be rejected.

But to make sure that I had given it my 100% effort, 2 weeks ago I made a point of sending every single match that they sent me an ice-breaker saying: “I would love to chat”. I sent it to everyone, and when I say everyone I mean everyone!! I wanted to test it.  I figure that if I didn’t wait to be contacted and reached out to everyone I would at least get some responses.  I expected that out of the 30/40 men a few would reply and I would know, at least, that there are some live matches and would be able to at least think that e-harmony was doing their job.

So after 2 weeks guess how many responses I received. NONE!.  No kidding, not a single one! I don’t know about you, but I find that incredible!  To me that means something is horribly wrong with their site or matching system. They are probably matching me with people who are no longer registered in the service and therefore no longer receiving ice-breakers (they keep the profile of non-members up).  Also, I specified I wanted people closer to me and they give me matches from places as far as Singapore and Australia, to name a few.

No matter what the reason is, it was just a confirmation that I was in the wrong place at the wrong time.  I don’t even want to ask for my money back. I believe they did me a favor.  Ultimately it was a blessing not to be bombarded with e-mails and engage in relationships right after the break-up. The time alone has been intensely rewarding and necessary.  From starting my blog to tennis lessons, from reaching out to old friends to making new ones, I am busy and happy!

I believe that trying to take shortcuts after a breakup eventually backfires.  I was trying to immediately replace Ex.  I failed to realize that a relationship that lasted 3 years, and that for the most part was amazing deserved my respect.  I had to spend time feeling the pain fully, mourning the end of a dream and going through all of the 5 stages of grief (Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance) . I was trying to skip steps, trying to run before I can even walk, and in the end that would  have caused more heartaches.

What next? Match.com? Plenty of Fish? No more online dating for me! At least not for now – I do reserve the right to change my mind.  As far as e-harmony I will not change my mind, I am never doing that again!

For now I am staying put just going about my day and pursuing my interests.  I am making a point of being fully present in the moment, loving and living each moment to the best of my ability.

I am working on myself, mind, spirit and body and being the best that I can.  I do have my eyes, heart and mind open and when that lucky guy comes around (and perhaps he is already here) I will be more ready, better able and ever willing!

So officially on August 1 I am free from e-harmony! So, goodbye it has not been fun!