“Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding. It is the bitter potion by which the physician within you heals your sick self. Therefore, trust the physician and drink his remedy in silence and tranquility.” – Kahlil Gibran
After being evaluated by the doctor and doing an X-ray he determined I have Thoracic Outlet Syndrome (TOS). The x-ray didn’t show any tumors but there is still the possibility I have herniated discs in my neck. I will need a MRI to determine that, but at this point I will follow the treatment for TOS and if there is no response than I will do an MRI.
TOS is an irritation of blood vessels and muscles behind and around the clavicle bone. TOS can happen because of injury, bad posture, repetitive movements, stress, a variety of reasons, but often times there is no specific cause. In my case I know that stress has been a contributing factor. I have had the pain in the neck shooting down for the past several months, ignoring it was not the best thing to do. Were not for the bone sticking out and being noticeable I would probably just continue to be in pain and do nothing about it.
“You think your pain and your heartbreak are unprecedented in the history of the world, but then you read. It was books that taught me that the things that tormented me most were the very things that connected me with all the people who were alive, who had ever been alive.” – James Baldwin
On Tuesday I went to the doctor for the first treatment, but as faith would have my back and hip was so painful that I chose to address that first. During the evaluation the doctor had already mentioned that he was more concerned with my hip and back. I have had herniated discs in back since I was 25 and for the last 4 years I have bursitis and arthritis in my right hip.
My identical twin sister has herniated discs in her neck and in the past 10 days she can barely walk because of her back. It is interesting that, even though living countries apart, we struggle with the same ailments. We have always had similar pains at similar times or days apart.
“There is a saying in Tibetan, ‘Tragedy should be utilized as a source of strength.’ No matter what sort of difficulties, how painful experience is, if we lose our hope, that’s our real disaster.” – Dalai Lama XIV
All these ailments are putting a damper on my upcoming skiing trip. I tried to cancel it, but only got the lift tickets and the skiing lessons refunded. The hotel and flight was non-refundable, which may turn out to be a good thing as I do need to take some time away from everything.
Not skiing is not the end of the world. I will focus on what I can do and not what I can’t. I am blessed to be able to take a vacation and go to a beautiful place like Breckenridge. I am not going to dare to complain about a little detail such a not being able to ski.
Today I return to the doctor for another treatment. Since the back and hip is feeling a little better I will have him focus on the collarbone.
On a side note I went to mass yesterday. Yes I am all proud of myself! The sermon was about the fact that God is in control so we have nothing to worry about, and on that note I go on knowing that all is taken care of. No worries!
“Pain insists upon being attended to. God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our consciences, but shouts in our pains. It is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world.” – C.S. Lewis