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Blessed with a Star on the Forehead

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Blessed with a Star on the Forehead

Tag Archives: living in the moment

Problems, Rainy Vermont and Shy boyfriend

15 Friday Jan 2016

Posted by A Star on the Forehead in Daily Life, Dating, Finding Me

≈ 19 Comments

Tags

accepting changes, changing my ways, learning from problems, living in the moment, making out in a bar, navigating dating waters, skiing in Vermont

“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.” -Rumi

I am special, but not unique.  Everyone has problems, big and small.  What makes the difference is how we choose to handle them.

My plate is still full of problems and headaches at work and at home, but I am back to wearing my rose-colored glasses, so all is changed.  An adjustment in attitude and perception changes everything. I am taking ownership of my problems, instead of letting them own me.  I am actually enjoying them for the immense opportunity they offer.  I am relishing in the knowledge that they will not last forever.  This too shall pass!

I am also battling a bad cold this week that has left me achy and unfocused.  For a second I felt overwhelmed and like a victim.  It seemed everything was happening at once.  Why can’t problems and illnesses call in advance and make an appointment? I could just say : No, this week I have a cold scheduled, come the following week.  🙂

Now for the good stuff:  My boyfriend took me skiing in Vermont last weekend.   He knew I was dying to go skiing so he made it happen.  Too bad he couldn’t do anything about the weather.  We had to take our skiing lessons in the rain.  It was awesome anyway.

While in Vermont we also went to see comedian Jim Breuer.   He was great, but so loud (am I getting old?).  The comedian that opened for him, Chris Monty, was hilarious.  It was great to spend a weekend of laughter and adventure, and forget about problems.  Well, a tenant called complaining about water issues in the middle of Sunday, but I was able to make some calls and then get back to the fun.  Anytime issues came to mind I would get into the gratitude mode and just chant: thank you, over and over again.  It works!

MF, the boyfriend, is so sweet.  He is trying hard to make me happy and make this relationship works.  Still cautious and  unsure,  I proceed taking one day at a time.

There was a moment in Vermont when I made him uncomfortable.  We were in a pub after the comedy show and I decided to have, not one, but 2 cosmopolitans.  I will normally have a glass of wine or a cocktail when out socially, 2 max.   I never got drunk and don’t want to start now.  I am a control freak so the idea of being drunk terrifies me.  Still one glass is enough to make me even friendlier and happier.

There weren’t that many people in the pub and at one point I hugged and kissed him.  He called it making out; I thought it was just flirtatious behavior.  I don’t think it was bad, I know how to behave.  He is very shy, I am very not.  He had mentioned he had no problems with PDA so I was a little taken aback by his discomfort.  He doesn’t want to make a big deal of this difference and says he will be able to adjust.  First, I wonder if someone can really change and second, I wonder if I want someone to change for me…

“Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby- awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess.” – Lemony Snicket

 

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It is all about a kiss!

15 Friday Nov 2013

Posted by A Star on the Forehead in Daily Life, Dating

≈ 17 Comments

Tags

Dating, drinking, future, Kissing, laughing, living in the moment, love, no expectations, relationships

“Realize deeply that the present moment is all you have. Make the NOW the primary focus of your life.” 
― Eckhart Tolle

I had an awesome time at the date! Did I flirt, drink and kiss as I had hoped? Read on and find out…

I had been speaking on the phone with this person on and off for about a month.  We agreed to go on a date after my mother had left and he had returned from a trip abroad.  On the phone he had talked about taking me to his favorite Indian restaurant.  He was disappointed to find out that Indian food is not one of my favorite cuisines.  I mentioned that on a first date, the most important thing to me was the company and that I am able to find something to eat in any menu.

I like that he was the type of guy that made phone calls and was not only texting and emailing.  I don’t normally go around giving my phone number to every guy on e-harmony but if I do give my phone number I expect a guy to use it.

When he invited me via text to a hotel bar I was a little taken aback, but not to the point of saying no since we had already had agreed to meet.  At that point I had a feeling that dinner was not on the menu and just drinks.  I am fine with that!  I just like to make sure that I eat something beforehand so that I can enjoy a drink.

I like that he picked a bar that was extremely convenient to me.  I also liked that he got to the bar earlier and was sitting there waiting for me when I arrived.   When I got there he got up and gave me a hug.  When we sat down at a tall table he complimented me on my hat (it is pretty cute! J).  He also mentioned that I was exactly the way he had pictured.  He had seen my pictures but sometimes pictures can be so misleading.  I took that as a compliment.

“Happiness, not in another place but this place…not for another hour, but this hour.” 
― Walt Whitman

The date lasted approximately 3 hours.  We talked about everything.  He got my jokes and I got his!  We made each other laugh.  I am happy to say I did not monopolize the conversation as I normally do.  I had 3 flutes of sparkling wine.  We are talking about little flutes, so I think it amounts to only about a drink and a half.  That was plenty to make a girl that rarely drinks tipsy.  Perhaps I was laughing a little too much, but I don’t think that is bad thing.

At one point when I got up to go to the ladies room, I jokingly asked if I needed to bring my purse with me in case he decided to run away (We had been talking about bad dates).  He laughed and handed me his cell phone to take with me as security.  I thought it was a cute gesture.

We were very flirty towards each other.  I did mention to him that I liked his accent and that I thought he had kissable lips.  Being the red-blooded man he is, at that point he got up, approached me and kissed me.  It was perfect!  It was soft, gentle, sweet.  I could have stayed in that kiss for days.

“You must live in the present, launch yourself on every wave, find your eternity in each moment.” 
― Henry David Thoreau

After our 3 drinks, we had some water and he walked me to the train station.    Before walking out of the bar he kissed me again. There were no issues on my side about being kissed even though this is our first meeting.  All I felt like saying was: More please!  At the train station he kissed me good bye.

We exchanged a couple of emails while on my way home regarding some glasses that I thought that I had left at the bar and it turned to be in my purse.  He also asked if I realized I had sent the text about the glasses 5 times, which I absolutely did not, so I am not sure what to make of that.  He managed to add a good touch when he said good night writing my real name, which I had said to him in passing and no one ever remembers it after hearing it only one time.  I was impressed by that; and that has been the end of our communication.

We have met on Wednesday night and it is now Friday afternoon, and I still haven’t heard from him.  I cannot say I am surprised, as I really had no expectations.  I only think that we had a great time and there is absolutely no reason not to see each other again.  But that is the thing with dating, it takes 2 people and sometimes 2 people on the same date will have totally different opinions of how the date went.  If there is one thing I have learning dating in the city is that one never knows, no matter how awesome the date was if you will ever hear from that person again.

“Do not ruin today with mourning tomorrow.” 
― Catherynne M. Valente

I don’t like to wait.  Any time a guy makes me wait before he calls me again after a date, I feel he is playing games and the longer he takes to call me the more uninterested I get.  I feel that guys that wait a certain number of days to call so not to appear eager are playing games and I am not into games at all.  If I like you I tell you, so if you like me tell me and don’t make me wait.

So at this moment I don’t know if I will see him again or even hear from him again, but here is the best part: I don’t care!  Nothing changes the awesome time I had at the date.  It was an awesome re-entry into the dating world after a few months absent.   I am a simple girl and those simple sweet kisses will hold me up for awhile. I would not change anything about the date.

Was he really awesome or was I just in terrible need of a kiss? Who knows … 🙂

I realized how much I have been changing.  I am able to be in the moment and appreciate the moment without dreaming up a future and therefore not being disappointed if that future never comes!

“Mindfulness is like that—it is the miracle which can call back in a flash our dispersed mind and restore it to wholeness so that we can live each minute of life.” 
― Thích Nhất Hạnh

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