• About me

Blessed with a Star on the Forehead

~ As I navigate through this life …

Blessed with a Star on the Forehead

Tag Archives: honesty and kindness

When the subject is dating, B is history

15 Monday Jul 2019

Posted by A Star on the Forehead in Daily Life, Dating

≈ 31 Comments

Tags

ended before it really started, honesty and kindness, honesty is the best policy, I accepted it, learn and move on, live and learn, no fourth date, third date is not the charm; he broke up

I don’t know what happened exactly but it probably had to do with the 2 questions/points I brought up on the last date. After that conversation he was calling and texting less often, which is what I wanted.  I felt I could breathe and for a second I felt this relationship would have a chance.  I was wrong.

Last night I received a call from him.  He sounded serious and said he wanted to be honest with me and share some thoughts he was having.  I knew in my heart that he didn’t want a relationship anymore even before he said anything.

He said that he had been thinking about “us” and remembered things he had learned in therapy.  He said there was competition between us and that reminded him of his ex-wife.  I was just going to let him speak without interruption, but I had to ask: Competition?  What competition? I am a competitive person, but not when it comes to dating.  He then back pedaled and said that he didn’t mean “competition”, he meant conflict, he meant that we are not on the same level.

Was he trying to say that I was competing with him financially? I was not.  We have different styles.  At any rate I didn’t see the need to argue the point with him.  At the end of the day he wants to stop seeing me and I agree with that.  No sense in splitting hairs.

I let him speak some more.  He was talking a mile a minute, as if he was trying to assure himself he was doing the right thing or perhaps he was trying to find the right words to let me down easy, the “it is me, not you” type of thing.

He didn’t have to. I am weirdly relieved. Back to the comfort of single-hood. Back to searching.

At one point, when it seemed that he was just making the same point over and over again, I thanked him for his honesty and wished him luck.

And I meant it, he an awesome guy, I wish him the best.  There is a right person for him, but I am not the one.

He immediately blocked me on the dating site.  I don’t get!  A day ago he acted as if I was the love of his life, today I am persona non-grata. Oh well…But perhaps I understand it. Perhaps he wants to make sure that there is no turning back.

I still think I did the right thing by speaking up about what was giving me concern about pursuing a relationship with him.  Was it too early to talk about things? I think it is never too early.  I believe in honesty and kindness. The only kind thing to do is to be honest.

He probably learned not to be too eager, or appear too needy, or disclose his finances on the first date.  I learned…I am not sure what I learned, but I know there is always a lesson. Oftentimes more than one.

“Most of us do not take these situations as teachings. We automatically hate them. We run like crazy. We use all kinds of ways to escape — all addictions stem from this moment when we meet our edge and we just can’t stand it. We feel we have to soften it, pad it with something, and we become addicted to whatever it is that seems to ease the pain.”  ― Pema Chödrön

Share this:

  • Print
  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • Email
  • Reddit
  • LinkedIn
  • Tumblr
  • Pinterest
  • Pocket
  • Telegram
  • WhatsApp
  • Skype

Like this:

Like Loading...

For contact:

blessedwithastar@hotmail.com

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 6,128 other followers

My days in pictures

My hope for the weekend #donothing #sleeplate Minha list do que fazer no fim de semana: Não fazer nada #dormiratetarde
Another day, another dollar! #grandcentralstation #commuter #work Mais um dia, mais um dollar! #trabalho #acaminhodecasa
Leave it to the flowers to brighten our days and our lives! #flowers #naturalbeauty #brightday #nature Deixe as flores iluminarem seus dias e suas vidas! #flores🌸 #belezanatural #diabrillante #natureza🍃
"Justamente a possibilidade de realizar um sonho que torna a vida mais interessante.! #paulocoelho #dreams #sonhos #possibilities #possibilidades #thealchemist #alchemist #oalquimista
Pizza and prosecco= perfect pair! #pizza #thinpizza #bacon #pepperoni #parperfeito #colonypizza #colonygrill
#flowers #flores🌸 #blue #azul #marbles #bolinhadegude #light #luz #celebration
Let's always choose happiness! Anger is a waste of time and energy! #choosehappiness #happy #ralphwaldoemerson "Cada minuto que você passa com raiva são sessenta segundos de felicidade que voce perde!" RWE Escolha ser feliz! Raiva é uma perda de tempo e energia! #escolherserfeliz #feliz
Today's mood! Just because it is Thursday! #goingouttonight #cosmopolitan #sexandthecity #thursday #happyday #happynight Só porque é quinta-feira! #quinta #diadesair #caipirinha
The sooner we understand that the better! #gandhi #gandhiquotes #powertohurt #beingstrong "Ninguem consegue me machucar se eu nao der permissão"
Simple and pure beauty! #simple #pure #beauty #nature #flowers Beleza pura e simple! #simples #pura #beleza #natureza #flores🌸
No take backs!! #exboyfriend #maewest #secondchance #trysomeoneelse #quoteoftheday #letgoofthepast Todos os ex-namorados merecem uma segunda chance, mas com outra pessoa! Mae West #exnamorado #deixaopassado #nadadesegundachance
I hope everyone is having a sweet Sunday! #sweet #sunday #fruittart #fruit #tart Espero que todos tenham um doce domingo! #doce #domingo #tortadefrutas #torta #frutas
Be fearless! #osho #courage #loveaffair Coragem é um romance com o desconhecido-Osho #coragem #romance #desconhecido
May your Friday be filled with flowers! ❤ #flowers #red #beauty #natureza #nofilter Que sua Sexta seja replete de flores! #flores #vermelho #beleza #natureza #semfiltro
Who am I to argue with Rumi? #rumi #rumiquotes #liveitup #havefun "Esqueca a segurança. Viva onde voce tem medo de viver. Destrua sua reputação. Seja notório." Quem sou eu pra discordar de Rumi? #diverta #avidaécurta #avidaeumsopro
Smart or not? #smart #detour #coconut #detoursmart #glutenfree
There is always a chance to re-start. #restart #newbeginnings #renew #athousandflamingos Existe sempre uma chance de recomeçar #recomeço #recomeçarsempre #sanoberkhan
The moon watches over the Chrysler building! #chryslerbuilding #nycsights #moon
With the weight of the world on my shoulders! Being a tourist today! Brincando de turista hoje! #atlas #nycsights
Hello spring! #spring #primavera #nyc #flowers

Blog Stats

  • 163,718 hits

Archives

Recent Posts

  • Vacation? NO! just work postponement
  • Skiing: I am making it my business
  • Finding gratitude in everything is the key to a happy life!
  • Bye bye sleep. Hello hot flashes
  • All good, a bit bad and lots of fun

My favorite posts

… letting my heart be my guide…

Of prayers, expectations, love and hope!

After the Hurricane

Relationship Smarts

Exes are like Old clothes

The Last Kiss you gave me

Hanging on for dear life

In looking back I move forward

Categories

  • AWARDS
  • Daily Life
  • Daily Message
  • Dating
  • documentaries
  • EX Files
  • Fiction
  • Finding Me
  • Food
  • Mosaic and other crafts
  • Poetry
  • Reviews
  • travels
  • Volunteering

Most recent comments:

A Star on the Forehe… on Vacation? NO! just work p…
kindredspirit23 on Skiing: I am making it my…
A Star on the Forehe… on some moments in small town,…
dfolstad58 on Vacation? NO! just work p…
A Star on the Forehe… on Skiing: I am making it my…

AWARDS

Sunshine Award

Beautiful Blogger Award

Creative Chaos Award

Versatile Blogger Award

Sunshine Blogger Award

Reader Appreciation Award

The Versatile Blogger Award

The Lovely Blogger Award

The Liebster Blog Award

The Dedicated Follower Award

Tell Me About Yourself Award

Very Inspiring Blogger Award

Dr. Horrible’s Blog Award

Fabulous Blog Ribbon

One Lovely Blog Award

The Commentator Award

Pages

  • About me

Blogroll

  • Learn WordPress.com
  • WordPress.com News
  • Get Support
  • Discuss
  • Get Inspired
  • Get Polling
  • Theme Showcase
  • WordPress Planet
  • List Universe

Blog at WordPress.com.

loading Cancel
Post was not sent - check your email addresses!
Email check failed, please try again
Sorry, your blog cannot share posts by email.
%d bloggers like this: