Tag Archives: family far away

All about Me, Myself and I

07 Tuesday Feb 2023

Posted by in Daily Life, Daily Message, Finding Me

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“In daily life we experience suffering more often than pleasure. If we are patient, in the sense of taking suffering voluntarily upon ourselves, even if we are not capable of doing this physically, then we will not lose our capacity for judgement. We should remember that if a situation cannot be changed, there is no point in worrying about it. If it can be changed, then there is no need to worry about it either, we should simply go about changing it.”
― Dalai Lama XIV, Dalai Lama’s Little Book of Inner Peace: The Essential Life and Teachings

Hello, I hope you all had an amazing weekend!

For the last few days, I have been dealing with feelings of powerlessness.

Family far away. I found out on Saturday that my brother has COVID.  My brother takes care of my older parents.

So many thoughts.  What if my brother gets so ill and has to go to the hospital?  What if my parents get it?

It is the type of situation that I wish I could get on a plane and get there asap.  But I can’t.  It is not that simple.  I have my tickets to Brazil already bought, but they are for April.

Fortunately, from Saturday until now, he is doing much better. So far, my parents haven’t contracted it.

It is so hard to live far away and not be able to just go and be with them.  I should be used to that situation already, after living in the US for the past 39 years.

Canceled date. I was going on a date on Sunday and my date canceled.  He also contracted COVID.  I was looking forward to that date.  Not because I thought we were such a good match, but because he seemed so intelligent and I imagined great conversations.  I no longer focus on the future of a date, I focus on the moment.

He wanted to talk on the phone until he recovers, I said no.  I am not sure why.  I keep going with my gut on the phone situation.  Sometimes I will give my number and talk on the phone, while other times I insist on meeting in person first.

Two people I know in 2 separate parts of the world getting Covid is to me such a reminder that Covid is not only still around, but it is here to stay.  We just need to learn to deal with it.

Cold sores.  I have never had a mouth/cold sore until last week.  I am glad it was small and not too unsightly.  This morning, it seems, I may be getting another one.  I am blaming it on the stress of work in the last months.  Stress and a possible weak immune system.  I have relaxed a bit on all I was doing to take care of myself.

It is all common sense the items on my list below, but it is so easy to relax a bit, and all of a sudden all I am doing is eating cake and watching Netflix.

So, starting now, I am focusing on:

  • Eating well. I do eat well, but 2 words: Less sugar!!
  • Sleeping well. Get to bed before 11pm.
  • Take Vitamin C. I take plenty of vitamins and supplements, but I just realized that I haven’t taken vitamin C in months.
  • Exercise more intentionally.  I walk on a treadmill every day, sometimes twice a day.  Every now and then I do some light weight training. I need to follow a program and a set of exercises.
  • Meditate (or just sit still). It does wonders for me when I take some time out of my day to just be still.

I am disappointed that I didn’t handle these feelings of powerlessness better.   I have read so much, experienced so much, wrote so much about it.  I should be a master at dealing with situations which I have no control of, by now.  This is another reminder that some lessons are never done.  We are constantly being tested.

I am disappointed when I realized that I had been putting myself and my well-being last. Work has been first for so long.  First with my assistant our for 3 months, then the audit for 6 months.  There was hardly any time for me in there.  2022 was very tough on me and my psyche.

The rest of 2023 will be all about me! ME! ME! ME!

“Every day, think as you wake up, today I am fortunate to be alive, I have a precious human life, I am not going to waste it. I am going to use all my energies to develop myself, to expand my heart out to others; to achieve enlightenment for the benefit of all beings. I am going to have kind thoughts towards others, I am not going to get angry or think badly about others. I am going to benefit others as much as I can.” ― The Dalai Lama

 

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Far away family and unfinished floors

25 Wednesday Mar 2020

Posted by in Daily Life

≈ 13 Comments

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“None of us knows what might happen even the next minute, yet still we go forward. Because we trust. Because we have Faith.”― Paulo Coelho

My friend, and fellow blogger, David from Life and Random Thinking https://dfolstad58.wordpress.com/ asked me 2 questions while commenting on a post.  Here are the questions and answers:

David asked: How is your mom in Brazil? How did your reno turn out?

My family in Brazil.  My family lives in a town in the state of Sao Paulo.  The population is about 85,000.  As of this moment there are no confirmed cases of the Coronavirus there, but I think it is only a matter of time.  

Healthcare in Brazil is really bad.  Too often hospitals lack equipment and space.  I cannot imagine what will happen if they become inundated with cases. On top of that, our president follows everything Trump says and does.  Right now he is arguing with governors and mayors over what he calls “overreaction”. 

My parents don’t seem too worried about themselves, or at least they don’t show.  They worry about the economy and the people that cannot afford to stay at home until this is over.  Mom is also sad that all our travel plans had to be canceled.  She was coming to NY in April.  Now all is on hold.

I remain positive that my mother, who is turning 85 years old on May 1st and my dad who is 83 will be okay.  They are homebodies anyway so it is not hard to keep them at home.  I worry about the people that normally come to the house.  

“Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.” ― George Burns

My brother, who is 62 years old, is the one that oversees the care of my parents.  He lives in the little house in the back of their house, so he is always there.  There is a lady that cleans the house twice a week and there is a nurse that comes once or twice a week to check on my dad issues with his leg (he had one leg amputated due to cancer). 

On our daily phone call, my sister and I have been stressing to them the need to use hand sanitizer and antibacterial wipes everywhere.  At this point we need to trust that they will do their best to keep my parents safe.

Living far from my parents for the past 36 years I had to learn to come to terms with many things.  There is not a lot I can do being far away, other than helping them financially.  Time doesn’t stop for anyone, they are getting older and will eventually part.  Every time I visit them it could be the last.  So I do all I can from here and every time I am there I make the most of it.  No regrets.

“All I have seen teaches me to trust the Creator for all I have not seen.”
― Ralph Waldo Emerson

Apartment Renovation:  Don’t ask!  Just kidding, you can ask, but you just reminded me that my renovation is unfinished.  Not that I don’t see it every day. I have just been avoiding thinking about it.

The painting is done.  So are, the light fixtures, some removed and some hung up.  The flooring is another story. 

At this moment my sister’s bedroom has the new floor but the shoe moldings hasn’t been finished.  A friend who is a painter was doing the floor for me.  He said he knew how to do floors and he had done a few before.  Clearly he didn’t know anything about padding. 

When I mentioned wanting to keep the same padding that was under the carpeting that was removed he didn’t fight me on it.  Clearly it was the wrong call. When you step on the floor it moves.  He wanted to redo it right away, but I didn’t have the mental energy for it.  I got so frustrated that I halted everything.  

The picture below is my sister’s room.  Because the moldings weren’t finished the planks are moving, so the gaps are starting to show and become wider.

My sister’s room

My bedroom has only padding on the floor, as you can see on the picture below.  Even though my carpet wasn’t that bad I went ahead and removed it, thinking that the floor was going to be installed right away.   

All the flooring and the padding material are now hidden under my bed waiting until my mind is clear so I can choose what to do next.  I put some rugs down for now.

Please note that my friend was not doing me a favor, I probably paid him more than the going rate for the job. I don’t blame him.  I blame myself.

My bedroom

“The true genius shudders at incompleteness — imperfection — and usually prefers silence to saying the something which is not everything that should be said.”― Edgar Allan Poe

Thank you for asking David! You probably didn’t intend on getting such a long answer.  Be careful what you ask for/about! 🙂 ♥♥

Be blessed and safe everyone!