Tag Archives: cheating

oh Pleeease!!! Your love is worthless

03 Thursday May 2012

Posted by in EX Files, Finding Me

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so Ex has sent me a couple of texts, saying that I looked sexy last time he saw me and trying to invite himself over, to which I told him the truth, which he doesn’t really deserve, but telling the truth is how I choose to live, here is my e-mail reply:

“I am hurting (well, you know that), still crying over the loss of “us” every single day

 I looked the other way so many times, with D. I pretended it was not happening, but celebrating anniversaries with M. was just the nail on my coffin

 I can’t understand what have I done to deserve this from you

 Right now praying every day to preserve our friendship and the love that I still feel for you and that you never had for me”

Here is his reply:

“I love you very much

 Always have, always will

 I know that we reached a point that I was unable to be the person you wanted me to be

 Perhaps at some point I may be able to

 You can and do think a lot of things, but never think that you are not loved and though about every single day of my life, many times”

Can you believe this reply?  I guess that worst than a person lying to others is a person that lies to himself. Is either that or he is a total psychopath.

So I am not even bothering replying anything at this point, because, obviously he wouldn’t know truth and honesty if came up and bit him in the face, but let me just point out the obvious on his reply:

He says he loves me very much.  Words are cheap and easy.  His actions do not demonstrate that.

He says that he was not the person I wanted him to be. Amazing how he turns it around like I was the one unhappy one and the one with problems. But I guess in a way he is right, I wanted a man I could trust.  I wanted an honest man, that would be faithful, and that would think that I alone was good enough for him. I wanted a man that could keep it in his pants.

He says: perhaps at some point I will be able to (be the person I want him to be).  Sorry that ship has sailed.  After trying, trying and trying some more, I had to face the truth that he just doesn’t want me. But it is really clever how he tries to keep me going with promises of a future. How he keeps dangling the carrot in front of me.  Sorry, that carrot is no longer appealing.

He says: that I can think of many things except that I am not loved and thought about daily.  Funny freaking way of showing his love.  Lets count the ways: 1)by having all sorts of women coming to the house, 2)taking all sorts of women on dates, 3)by lying to my face many times, including saying that he wanted to be alone to focus on his business and children, 4)by saying that he was not doing anything for me, with me on Valentine’s Day because he didn’t want to send me the wrong message, 5)celebrating anniversaries with at least 1 woman, yep on the 22nd of May it will be 2 happy months with M., and so many other ways the loves and thinks of me daily, but I will not bore you with anymore details.

YES, HE REALLY LOVES ME!!!

please remind me: why am still trying to preserve a friendship with him??

So now I am mad!!

26 Thursday Apr 2012

Posted by in Daily Life, EX Files, Finding Me

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I just read in a Brazilian site about what this soccer player’s wife said about a husband cheating on his wife.

First the soccer player in question is Kaka, handsome, religious and rich.  She is a spoiled rich girl that got lucky in the husband department.

Any way she said and I am going to loosely translate from Portuguese: I would forgive a betrayal because wwhen the man betrays is a sign that the wife failed in some area. She was not giving what was necessary, and I don’t mean only sex. I speak of caring, dialogue, cumplicity. If Kaka betrays me it means I am doing something very wrong.

Her name is Carol Celico and supposedly they were both virgins when they got married.  Kudos for them, but not our real world.

I hope she does not go through a betrayal in the future, but I would like her to at least for a second feel what we, betrayed women, feel.  We do enough of second guessing on our own. We do question if we gave enough in all areas. We do look back and look for places where we could have been more caring, more attentive, more supportive, less critical, less demanding.

But guess what?

After all this guilt trip, after all this blame game, after all the clue collection and soul searching I realize that a man cheats because:

He was not man enough to voice his opinions, needs and wants.

He wasn’t honest enough to say that he no longer wanted a relationship.  

He thought he could get away with it.

The situation/opportunity presented himself.

He is having a mid-life crisis.

He wants to tell himself he still got it.

He is bored.

But I found the real truth.  A man (or woman) cheats because they are not happy with themselves.  If they were happy with themselves they would choose the honest path, they would communicate.  They would perhaps realize the value in their partner and how good they have at home before it is too late.

So, Carol Celico you are famous by virtue of your husband, please use this fame for some worthwhile causes. Do not use your soapbox to make woman feel guilty.  Do not add to their pain by making them feel it was their fault.  Their egos and self esteem are probably shattered by now, do not make it worst.

I know in my heart that I did my best and more than that in all areas, but sometimes no matter what you, no matter you can turn water into gold, some people will just lie to your face and cheat on your.  Their reasons, if they are able to come up with any, are not important.  the damaged is already done.  And lies and excuses just make it worst.

It would be refreshing to just hear: I lied and cheated and I don’t deserve you, please forgive me! 

Now that is what I wanted to hear, but I am sure some of you have heard that time after time, so if you do love yourself first and move on.

***

Do you agree with Carol Celico?

If not why do you think man cheat?