Tag Archives: all in a day’s work

Pizza for Peace and Regenerating Gums

25 Sunday Aug 2019

Posted by in Daily Life, Finding Me

≈ 8 Comments

Tags

, , , , , ,

For the ones following up on my office saga:

Yesterday, the guy I had the argument with bought pizza for the office.  I knew about it but I didn’t get up to get it.  He then send me a chat message saying: “I got pizza for the office if you would like some”.

I could have ignored his message, but instead I replied: “Sure, Thank you.”

I am not sure if our fight had anything to do with his sudden generosity. I want to believe that something I said was heard.

I think pizza was his olive branch.  I accepted it.

“Man looks very coward and extremely primitive with an ostentatious big sword and he looks very brave and tremendously sophisticated with a humble olive branch!”  ― Mehmet Murat ildan

***
After lunch I went to the dentist to get a cleaning and to get an x-ray on that dental implant problem I have written about it.  Last time I was there after the laser surgery I had had a few months earlier to try to save the implant the x-ray showed that the situation had gotten worse.

At that time his recommendation was to remove one of the implants, otherwise I may lose all 3.  It is the last one in the back so according to my dentist I would not feel too much of a difference.  Still I think he felt my despair at the idea of removing it that he offered to redo the laser surgery for free and go in deeper this time.

The second surgery was done in February. It was painful but I am used to painful dental surgeries.  Since February I am doing all I can to make sure that the surgery would be successful.

On Friday when he looked at the x-ray I braced myself.  He studied it for a second and then gave me the good news. Not only it didn’t get worst, it actually showed a little improvement.  That was enough for him to decide that I can hold off on removing the implant for now, and perhaps for good.

He said:  Continue doing what you are doing because it is working.  Here is what I am doing:

  • Eating less sugar (this is good for overall health)
  • Brushing my teeth after every meal, and specially after having sugar
  • Flossing at least once a day. Often twice.
  • I alternate among different toothpastes.  I am not sure why I do this, but I don’t like to use the same one every day. Some of the ones I use are: Sensodyne, Total, Arm and Hammer and CloSYS.
  • Gargling with CloSYS mouthwash or with Tree Tea Oil Mouthwash every night.
  • Doing Oil Pulling at least 3 times a week.  I should do it every day, but I don’t always remember it.
  • Using a dental tartar scraper once a week.  That is like a metal toothpick to scrape the tartar off the teeth.  The same one dentists use.
  • Massaging my gums with my finger as often as I remember.
  • Having a positive and grateful attitude towards my teeth and gums.

I believe that anything in our bodies can be regenerated, and that includes my gums.  I am not sure what is really working from the above list, but I will continue to do it all and continue hoping for good news at every visit.

“As wave is driven by wave
And each, pursued, pursues the wave ahead,
So time flies on and follows, flies, and follows,
Always, for ever and new. What was before
Is left behind; what never was is now;
And every passing moment is renewed.” 
― Ovid, Metamorphoses

 

Another dysfunctional day in a dysfunctional industry

23 Friday Aug 2019

Posted by in Daily Life

≈ 10 Comments

Tags

, , , , , ,

Some of you may wonder what happens in a small office when there is a big blow up as the one I had the other day with that co-worker.  Or specifically what is happening in my office right now.

In this industry yelling and screaming among the brokers are normal and par for the course.  Sometimes their arguments get so heated I fear one is going to hit the other. By the end of the day or by the next day they are speaking as if they are best friends.

Similar to them when I have any issues with any of the guys normally we are back to normal in a few days.  The normal for this guy and I is tricky.  He is a complainer and I don’t deal well with people that only complain and never has a positive thing to say about anything. He is not happy that I don’t allow him to brush his teeth in the kitchen sink and that he has to wash his own plate after lunch, among other things.

Our normal is just being cordial to each other. He is like one of those dogs that look inoffensive and cute. You let your guard down, you get close, you pet it and then it bites your hand off.

Time and time again I get bitten. Yet I never learn. Professionally and personally I don’t hold any grudges.

The ball is his court. But it seems that he will take longer to get over being called out for his behavior.

Yesterday when he needed something from me he asked one of the other partners to come and ask me. Later when he needed additional information he sent me messages via chat.

Today I walked in and there was a note on my desk (pictured at the top).  I blocked the client’s name on it.  It is childish of him to avoid speaking to me, but it is so expected. It would have been classier and more gentlemanly  if that was a note of apology but I don’t believe he ever said “I am sorry” in all his life.  I am sure that writing “pls” almost killed him.

I want to know what he is going to do next time he needs something personal notarized or scanned.  Well, I know what will happen, he will come and ask.  And I will do it because I don’t know how to say no. If I can help, I help, no matter what.

I don’t get the boss involved.  He has asked me to let him know if he needs to get him involved, but I rather fight my own battles.  Plus he goes a bit overboard so I like to avoid that.  I was glad he was not in the office when it happened.

“Give, but give until it hurts.” ― Mother Teresa

Of mice, men and me

24 Wednesday May 2017

Posted by in Daily Life, Finding Me

≈ 30 Comments

Tags

, , , ,

“True happiness is to enjoy the present, without anxious dependence upon the future, not to amuse ourselves with either hopes or fears but to rest satisfied with what we have, which is sufficient, for he that is so wants nothing. The greatest blessings of mankind are within us and within our reach. A wise man is content with his lot, whatever it may be, without wishing for what he has not.” – Seneca

It is crazy how things change from one day to the next, so the best thing to do is to embrace whatever is happening at the moment, be it good or bad. If something good is happening then jump in head first, take a bath in it, enjoy it to the fullest.  If something bad is happening, look for the lesson in it, brace yourself, learn the lesson and move on.  Everything passes.  Everything leaves a mark and a memory.

Work has been difficult lately.  Or is it me?  I guess my hormones are out of whack as I have been on the verge of crying at work every day last week and so far today again.   I thought that by now I was immune to this industry, to these men that lack manners and think they are Gods.

Two days in a row I walk into work and in the kitchen a mouse has just been caught on a glue trap.  The mouse could have been removed before I got here but my male co-workers either were too scared or thought it was funny to see me scream and run away.

I realize it is not an employee’s job to catch mice but what happened to men being a gentleman, being strong and coming to a lady’s rescue?  The mouse was only removed much later when a braver/nicer co-worker arrived.  By the way the super of the building is useless.  He goes out of his way to be difficult.

This is a hard industry. Hard on women, hard on minorities.  I have been in it for over 20 years, often immune to the antics, but it still stings.  But the other side of the coin is that it affords me a good life.  It affords me the ability of helping my family, which is something that is extremely important to me.

The brokers want to do whatever they want ignoring guidelines set up for a reason.  Requests go ignored.  Not only that, the language and behavior are at an all-time low.  It is locker room behavior everyday here.  Nothing is said to me or about me (as far as I know), but still I am within earshot of the crude remarks.  I feel caught in the middle.  I am both one of the employees and also one of the bosses/partners.  If I complain to the big boss he will take my side but I don’t want to be like the tattletale sister, and in the end nothing really changes.

At this moment I feel like a complainer playing the victim.  There are no victims here (or anywhere really).  I fell into this industry by accident.  After 5 years I had had enough of it and quit.  Then I realized that it was something I was good at and it also paid well. I was back after a year.

The mice incidents happened and it made me feel completely powerless and dependent on men to rescue me.  I tried mustering all the courage in the world to get it myself but I couldn’t do it. I hate depending on people.  These episodes made me furious and more aware of their behavior.

I guess it is easy to grow immune to things, until an event highlights it and brings it to the surface.

I just want a little more kindness and respect.  I guess my office is just a microcosm of the world at large.  We need more kindness in the world.  We need more people helping people.  We need more people being aware of the feelings of others.  We need more respect, more manners, more compassion.

We are not alone, so let’s stop behaving as if our needs are the only ones that count.

I don’t believe in complaining, I don’t believe in playing the victim.  So please forgive me for digressing and going on and on.  I believe in changing whatever is threatening one’s happiness.  But I also believe in being practical and realistic.  It is a juggling act.

So I alternate among:

  • Telling them exactly what I think (That they have no manners, that certain behavior is not acceptable, etc) to which some will say sorry while others will try to justify the behavior.
  • Crying out of frustration (of course I don’t let them see it, but I wear my heart on the sleeve so they know how I feel). It lets my emotions out but I feel worse later realizing that crying makes me feel even more powerless.
  • Ignoring and trying not to let it affect me.  It often works.  I tune them out, they are meaningless to me.
  • Plotting my escape (which is pie in the sky at this point), but it is fun to dream of doing something completely different.

One thing I am totally incapable of doing is retaliating.  A broker gets me mad one day and I tell myself that next time they need something I won’t be so quick to help, or next time I will accidentally forget to reimburse them for their expense report.  Instead I continue the same way, jumping up any time they need something.  I will always err on the side of helping and treating people how I want to be treated.

So I continue on, reminding myself that at the end of the day I do have a great job with many perks and great pay.  No one tells me what to do, and the not so strict environment is not all that bad.  No job is perfect and it is not my whole life just a part of it.  I guess I have a love-hate relationship with my job.

In the end this is not a complaint, just a mere observation.  I am grateful for my job.  I feel blessed for having it.

A mouse made me write this!

“What you’re supposed to do when you don’t like a thing is change it. If you can’t change it, change the way you think about it. Don’t complain.” – Maya Angelou