Category Archives: Finding Me

Anything related to the discovery of the inner me

Welcome Pain! My door is open!

28 Sunday Jan 2024

Posted by in Daily Life, Daily Message, EX Files, Finding Me

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THIS WAS WRITTEN IN APRIL 2012.  I AM CLEANING OUT MY DRAFTS FOLDER AND EITHER PUBLISING OR DELETING SOME POSTS. Please forgive typos.

I DECIDED TO PUBLISH THIS ONE,  EVEN THOUGH IT WAS WRITTEN LONG AGO. IT WAS FROM A TIME THAT I WAS IN A LOT PAIN, STILL FROM THE BREAK UP.  I HAVE LEARNED A LOT SINCE THEN, AND I STILL BELIEVE IN APPROACHING PROBLEMS AS LESSONS AND OPPORTUNITIES. Please forgive typos.

“These pains you feel are messengers. Listen to them.”― Rumi

If pain is growth, if pain is where the light comes in, as Rumi says.  Then, by all means, pain come in.  You and all your friends: dramas, headaches, problems, etc

Come in, all at once, if you can.  I want to grow a lot, and fast.

When you look at a problem, not as a problem, but as a lesson or a challenge, it is no longer a problem.  From that moment on, it becomes an opportunity.  Immediately, right from the start, the problem doesn’t own you, you own the problem.  You are in control and at the driver’s seat.

I am learning to look at a situation from different points of view, but never as a victim. I choose to be a student ready to learn some specific lesson.  How wonderful that I have been chosen to learn this lesson.

My only job here is to learn it.  I am learning how to step back and access the situation, analyze it, inspect it and then choose how to handle it. Do I need to attack it or just let it be, and let nature take its course.

I no longer have to attack every situation head on.  The Aries in me is learning to stop and let things happen.  Let nature take its course knowing that the best outcome will be mine if I don’t react, but deal with things with a level head and peaceful heart.

It is not easy not to react, and because it is not easy, it makes it even more rewarding.  I already knew in  my heart that no matter what comes my way, I will always be okay.  The more I learn the lessons, the more life gets better and better.  I no longer think I am going to be okay, I know, in fact, that I am going to be more amazing and more blessed each day.

I now look forward to going to bed because I can’t wait for my tomorrow to start.

“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.” – Rumi

Fully embracing possibilities… Fully embracing you…

23 Tuesday Jan 2024

Posted by in Daily Life, Finding Me

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As I continue to clean up my Drafts Folder, I have to make a decision: delete or publish. This one I am publishing, just because I don’t want to delete it, and I don’t want to just let it sit there.

PLEASE NOTE: This was written in July 3rd, 2012.  It was the first year of this blog.  I was still struggling with the break up that made me start this blog, but I was hopeful.  I am not doing any editing, just publishing as is.

This one I wrote around

Please forgive this old foolish heart

I am not 15 I just play the part

My head spins and my body is in a rush

so don’t mind the writings of a teenager and her first crush

Bloated, sugar crazy, cry baby, PMS raging in full bloom

In the TV Wimbledon in on, Sharapova grunts fill the room

I hear your voice; it calms the fire breathing dragon within me

It waltzes through my ears, dances into my heart – I smile with glee

I float in the air of possibilities; you bring me back with your concerns

I think of sweet soft kisses, you remember the painful burns

I am in love with falling in love, that intoxicating and blinding feeling

You fear I am on the rebound; you don’t want to be left reeling

Can’t make promises, can’t read the future, can only give you now

I will communicate, love and respect.  Honesty is my vow

Your heart and body says yes, your head wants to ban

I mention killing this eternal curiosity and we start to plan

The clock says 12:30 and I am still Cinderella

I want so much to take the next Acella

We are blessed to be able to dream and plan, 2 kids in a candy store

When? Where? Here or there? I just want to see you walk through the door

On the TV there is a Russian or perhaps a German playing  yet another game

My mind swirls with delight as I picture your mouth as it says my name

I have to get up, brush my teeth, take a shower and get ready to bed

But how can I act so normal with all the is going on in my head?

I wake up with a smile on my face

Feeling like a runner on his best race

My jaw hurts, was I smiling the whole night?

Dreaming of you my white knight?

The spinach is slow dancing with the egg in the pan

Is my breakfast aware of my plan?

The super says how are you and I want to spill the beans

I am happy, blessed in love, I can’t help it is in my genes

Grand Central is specially crowded on this day before a holiday

I go deliberately slow, my mind still thinking of yesterday

Young and old carrying bags, some going, some coming back

I am basking in the knowledge that you decided to give it a crack

I cross 39th Street smiling, people must think I am a looney

I look around and wonder why is everyone so gloomy

You are going all out, daring to dream, willing to risk, I like you taking a stand

I tremble when I think about the first time; the first time you hold my hand

So here I am on 34th, work beckons, no work actually screams

I will whistle while I work, so happy that I am bursting at the seams

I want to be your cutie, your babe, the one that makes you scream

You will be my lover and friend and the one that makes me dream

My life is in the Drafts folder

13 Saturday Jan 2024

Posted by in Daily Life, Daily Message, Finding Me

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“Sometimes it’s about working with your bad parts, not fixing them.”
― Leah Thomas, Nowhere Near You

Hello friends, 

Tomorrow will be one week since I arrived in Florida.  This time we drove.  18 hours!   It was not bad.  We took turns driving.  We left Saturday at 2:30am.  We were supposed to spend the Saturday night at a hotel halfway there.   

I suggested driving directly to Florida, because… I am me… I like results, I like getting there.  Yes, it is about the journey, not the destination.  Sometimes I forget that.  Michael took the wait and see approach. He wanted to see how tired he was going to be, and also watch the tired.

In the end, we drove 18 hours including the multiple breaks, and arrived at Michael’s place at 8:30pm.  We both agreed that it was the best decision.  We weren’t tired, and we had the whole Sunday to get stuff in order before my work on Monday.

Since I arrived here, I have been overwhelmed with office work.  This is my busiest time.  I have an audit to submit, compliance review, bonus calculations, taxes, etc.

I hope there will be some time to relax before we get back to NY.  I probably work harder in Florida than in NY.  I guess I don’t want to make it seem that I am in Florida relaxing instead of working. 

I am still struggling with work/life balance.  I need to work less, and have more fun.  More mosaics, more exercise, more blogging, more reading, more skiing.  No more crying about it, I will just keep trying to do better next time.

I have so much to write about… gosh, it is the same song and dance every time.  I will try to do better 😊 The goal is the same: to write more and to publish posts instead of leaving them in Drafts folder.  With that in mind, I am hitting publish on this mess.   Please forgive the typos. 

Have a wonderful weekend! You are loved and deserving of the best weekend ever – go claim it!!

ps. I meant to post it yesterday, and of course, I forgot it in the Drafts 🙂

Sunday in Poços de Caldas, MG – Brazil, Nov 25, 2023

11 Monday Dec 2023

Posted by in Daily Life, Finding Me, travels

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“The reason birds can fly and we can’t is simply because they have perfect faith, for to have faith is to have wings.” ― J.M. Barrie, The Little White Bird

After visiting with my aunt, my cousin gave us a ride back downtown – we had walked to my aunt’s.   We went to Thermas Antonio Carlos to inquire about getting some spa treatments. 

Thermas Antonio Carlos is a bathhouse that was built at the end of 1920s, and inaugurated in March 1931.  It was a place for sick people to get sulfurous baths and other treatments.  Today it has been completely restored and it is mostly frequented by tourists. 

They have also added a couple of stores with natural products and also a café/restaurant.  The café overlooks a water fountain and also leads to the outdoor areas that also has a few tables.

We scheduled an ofuro bath and massages for the end of the day.  From there we went to the Bird Zoo.

We don’t like to see animals in cages, but this place is more like a sanctuary.  They gave the birds a lot room.  They also rescue old and sick ones.

We hadn’t had lunch yet when we got there, but the place had only sweet snacks. I had a brownie and Michael had a banana nut cake.

It was fun to see and read about the beautiful birds. We spent a couple of hours there.   There are a lot benches throughout, so from time to time we sat and just took in the beauty of nature, and the realization of how blessed we are.

From there we went back to the bathhouse for our treatments.  We could have the bath treatment in separate tubs, but we chose to be together in an ofuro – wooden soaking tub.  We could choose a scent and an oil.  We chose lavender and rosemary.  It smelled delicious!  It was so relaxing.

After having the bath on the second floor, we went to our massages.  It was odd, my massage was on the first floor and Michael’s was on the third.  It is a big place with many tubs and masseuses. We got the relaxing massage, and it was.  I think I fell asleep.  Next time I will probably choose another type of massage, such as a lymphatic massage.

After the massage, instead of eating at the café there we decided to walk around and see what else was out there.  Michael mentioned pasta, so I decided to go to the oldest restaurant in town, Cantina do Araujo.  The food was very good, but the service lousy.  Our waitress was inattentive.  She brought our order to the table and never came back.  We had to flag other waiters to get water and then the bill.

On Monday morning, we returned the rental, got my sister’s car and drove to my hometown.  I worked Monday and Tuesday.  On Wednesday we left Brazil and got into NY at 5:30am on Thursday.  It was the perfect time to arrive.  There was no traffic getting home.

Our next adventure will be in Park City, Utah.  Park City was our first trip, just a couple of weeks after we first met. It will be nice to go back.

Here are some pictures of our Sunday in Poços De Caldas, Minas Gerais- Brazil.

“Some birds are not meant to be caged, that’s all. Their feathers are too bright, their songs too sweet and wild. So you let them go, or when you open the cage to feed them they somehow fly out past you. And the part of you that knows it was wrong to imprison them in the first place rejoices, but still, the place where you live is that much more drab and empty for their departure.” ― Stephen King,  Shawshank Redemption

 

Spending a day Celebration, Florida

22 Sunday Oct 2023

Posted by in Daily Life, Daily Message, Finding Me, Food, travels

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Yesterday, Michael and I spent the day in the very charming community called Celebration.  We had a late lunch/early dinner at Regianno’s and ice cream at Kilwins.

It was my dear friend Kat from lifetreeandcoffee.wordpress.com who recommended it all.  Thank you, thank you!! We loved everything!

The town is so charming and friendly. We chatted with a bunch of local people.

“It is good people who make good places.”
― Anna Sewell, Black Beauty

Here are some of the pictures from the day:

Charming town

Watching the peaceful Lake Rianhard

Next time, we will rent a bike to go around the park

Happy to say we didn’t see any of those

Lovely park

I believe it is some kind of diving duck

Drinks at Reggiano’s

Toasted coconut and pumpkin ice cream at Kilwins

I have some additional pictures on my Instagram https://www.instagram.com/blessedwithastar

Embracing the Florida way of life

18 Wednesday Oct 2023

Posted by in Daily Life, Daily Message, Finding Me, Food, travels

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“Blessed are the flexible, for change is inevitable. To fulfill our true destiny as spiritual beings we must trust in our divine power to adapt.” ― Anthon St. Maarten

Eight months ago, if you asked me if I would ever live in Florida, I will respond: NEVER!  And now here I am!  And it feels right and good! 

The plan is to inject more fun and life into my days.  I plan to work remotely from Florida, Brazil, and other possible traveling locations. 

Right now I am in Florida for a couple of weeks. So far working from here has been perfect. My computer, monitors, etc, all arrived and are working perfectly.

Our condo is in a golfing community. It has been quiet and calming.  In NY I am surrounded by huge building constructions, with the noise starting at 6am, Monday through Saturday. This silence has been a welcomed and desired change of pace.

We arrived on Saturday and the weather has been absolutely perfect – warm days and cool nights.  We are not right on the beach, we are a 25 minute drive from it. Most evenings will either drive to the beach for long walks or walk around where we live.

This new life is amazing!  I am so blessed and I know it!

Always a Delta fan – well, will see how it will go with the new changes to their rewards program.  We were upgraded to First Class.

Great meal for a 2 and half hour flight – it tastes so much better than it looks.  Even if I am not hungry I will always accept the meal/snack, as I am always curious, and afraid I will be missing out.

My view while I work.  I look out of the balcony and hear birds and see palm trees.  I could get used to this.

My new mode of transportation.  We don’t normally use it, other than to make sure that it continues in good working conditions.  We are not golfers, and normally opt to walk, instead of ride.

New Smyrna Beach at sunset.  A gorgeous cool evening.  Along the walk we encountered a couple of people only.

New Smyrna Beach – This life feels like a vacation.

Lonely bird fishing at night.

“With change being an inevitable element in our lives, we have only two options. Either embrace it and live life to the fullest or be stuck in the comfort zone of a compromised life.” ― Mohith Agadi

Key Word: ACCEPTANCE

10 Tuesday Oct 2023

Posted by in Daily Life, Daily Message, Finding Me

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“Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then do it.” ― Ann Landers

I have been cleaning up my Drafts Folder.  There were 260 posts just sitting there waiting to be rediscovered.  

I am  reading every single one and deciding either to delete or to save them to be polished and published.

I have gone through about 40 so far.  All from 2012 – the year I started blogging.  It has been interesting to read my unpublished thoughts for that year.

At the end of 2011, the world as I knew it came to an abrupt end.  I found out my then boyfriend was cheating on me.  He never acknowledged the cheating and callously told me to move out.  I thought I would die from the heartbreak.

I didn’t die. Today I can see that he did me a favor by letting me go.  His life at the moment is in shambles, and I would be embroiled in that mess right along with him.  (I know his situation because I was contacted by the woman that has been living with him since we broke up – I am going to save that story for the future.) 

“For after all, the best thing one can do when it is raining is let it rain.”
― Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

I wanted to have a blog for many years prior to that, but never followed through on that.  Until the pain in my soul was so intense that I needed an outlet to get it out.   Well, the pain and my sister.

My sister told me that she was fearing for my sanity.  She said I had become obsessed with all things him. It was only then that I realized I was making her crazy with the multiple phone calls to talk about the breakup. 

This blog saved my sanity and hers.    I don’t think I drove anyone crazy here :-), instead I made many friends that provided me with words of comfort and support.

“Understanding is the first step to acceptance, and only with acceptance can there be recovery.” ― J.K. Rowling

Anyway, one of the main themes on the posts for 2012 is ACCEPTANCE. 

I spent a lot time trying to come to terms with the breakup. The turning point was when I saw the need to just accept the situation.

Things changed when I decided to accept the situation as a fact.  I stopped denying what had happened.  I stopped fantasizing about a reconciliation. I stopped second guessing my actions and trying to assign blame.

When I stopped trying to control the situation, it not longer controlled me. I simply accepted it. 

Well, perhaps not so simply.  It took me years to get over that breakup.  I realized the pain was not about him, but about the fairy-tale I created in my mind.  I didn’t want to lose the fairy-tale.

I struggled most with understanding why I thought he was the one, and why he did what he did. Until the day came that I realized that I would never understand it, and further more, I didn’t need to understand it.  I just needed to accept it.

“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.” ― Lao Tzu

Die with Zero: Getting All You Can from Your Money and Your Life

21 Thursday Sep 2023

Posted by in Daily Life, Finding Me, Reviews

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“What Good Is Wealth Without Health?”

I am attempting to read all the books that I have sitting around my apartment. I will be posting very short reviews as I finish them.  I am not sure if I should call them reviews.  I will be writing about what I personally get from each book.  What did the book make me think about and how it applies to my life, if at all.  It is not meant to describe the whole book.

I just finished “Die with Zero: Getting All You Can from Your Money and Your Life”, by Bill Perkins.

Main book ideas for me:

  1. Stop accumulating money to spend when you are older; start using it now. Spend money on the things you love while you are young and healthy to really enjoy them.  Most people wait until retirement to start spending money on what brings them joy.  By that time, they may not have the health and energy to fully enjoy the activities they dreamed of.
  2. Confronting our mortality.  We have a finite time on this earth.  What we take from it are the experiences we have, and the memories we make.

I realize I often choose saving over spending. I do spend money on essentials, some travel, and on family and friends.  In that last one, I will spare no expenses to help or treat them. I rather spend money on my family then on myself, and I often do.

“Think about what you really want out of this life in terms of meaningful and memorable experiences.”

I have always thought about making sure that I have money in case of an emergency, if I lose my job, or if my family ever needs anything.  Coming from nothing, I want to make sure that, my family and I, will never want for anything in life.

Yesterday, while catching up with my first boss in the US, she said: ‘You were always a saver.  Even when you were just a teenager, you never spent any money.”

Funny, that I really never thought about that.  I will spend money on myself but cautiously, mostly with traveling. I used to spend with nails, hair, massages, etc  but lately I am not even doing that.  I will get a massage every now and then.  For hair and nails, I always become impatient waiting for those services.  Plus some of the NY prices are crazy.

As far as clothes, I want to have less.  I never cared for material stuff, and I am having less and less interest in anything material. I want a life freer and simpler, but with enough money to do whatever I want.  I want to spend a lot time traveling and not maintaining stuff.

“The business of life is the acquisition of memories. In the end that’s all there is.”

Reading this book now, when Michael just came into my life, makes me more inspired to live more.  Michael saved money while young, with the aim of retiring at 55 years old, which he did.  He has been enjoying his life since then.  He is now 61.  I want to enjoy life with him. I want to spend more money and time acquiring experiences and memories, and not items that will weigh me down.

I cannot retire right at this moment for a couple of reasons.  My company needs me, and I need my company, for the health insurance and for the good salary.  So this book is perfect for me, as it reminds me not to wait for retirement, but live it up now. So, the planning for more fun, more travel, less working days is already in motion.

This book is also perfect for the person that has been over-saving, so focused on savings for the future that he forgets to live in the now.  Still, I believe and advocate balance in all areas. One cannot forget about making sure one has enough to live well in old age. The worst thing that could happen is to have to come out of retirement because one has ran out of money.

“What’s the takeaway here? Being aware that your time is limited can clearly motivate you to make the most of the time you do have.”

*all quotes are from the book

so this became very long, but if I edit, it will never be published, so here it goes.  Sorry for typos, etc

Change is necessary, and it is always good!

19 Tuesday Sep 2023

Posted by in Daily Life, Daily Message, Dating, Fiction, Finding Me

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“It’s only after you’ve stepped outside your comfort zone that you begin to change, grow, and transform.” ― Roy T. Bennett

Happy New Week!

Every Monday feels like new start. A chance to start a new project, or follow up on old plans.

One of my plans is to write more.  Well, not write more; publish more. 

I do write often, but my writings rarely see the light of day.  The problem is, I edit and edit until a post becomes too dated.  I have written about this problem before.  I still have not managed to make a change.

The posts that I manage to publish, are the ones that I decide to forgo all the endless editing and just hit publish.  Believe me, it takes a lot effort for me to be able to do that. I feel anxious, as if I am going out in my pajamas, or if I am serving someone an unbaked cake.

When I look back at old posts, I see so many typos and grammatical errors.  I see a lot wordiness.  I see improvements to be made.  It feels unfinished and, as if I am not presenting my best self.

But, right at this moment, I rather publish a post with errors, than not to post anything at all.

I look at my Drafts folder and it is overwhelming.  As overwhelming as all the books around the house that I haven’t started yet, or worse, that I have not finished yet.

I decided to do something about all of the unfinished in my life.  I plan on reading all the books that I have started. And then, start on all the new books that I have bought from my fellow bloggers that have become published.  I am so proud of all of you! Please give me time and I will eventually get to read your books and will write a review. 

Never finishing a book, is like holding on to a gift and never opening it.  What if there is something really wonderful in there and I never get to it?

Getting back to my posts, I plan on tackling my Drafts Folder and going through each post.  I will either hit publish or delete.

I also feel I need to give this blog a direction.  This blog was started as an outlet to the pain of my broken heart and the devastation of being cheated on.   Then, it became a journal of my dating adventures, and misadventures.

What should it become now?  There are no more dating adventures, since Michael has been elected The One!

Is happiness boring?  Failed dates are more interesting to write about.  Plus, I don’t want to be bragging about how blessed Michael and I feel to have found each other. Perhaps I can make blissful life interesting.

Write about work? This commodities brokerage industry is one crazy industry, and I do have a lot of stories about it. That is an idea.

Write about travels? Well, I need to be traveling more to actually write about it.

The direction will take shape as I write more and more, I mean, as I post more and more.  I decided, boring and all, typos and all, that I will post something every day. 

Perhaps I will have a schedule and every day of the week there will be a different theme, but I am not there yet.  For now, there will be days that my post will be very short, or just a photo, or just a 1 sentence review of something read, seen, eaten, etc.

Please note, I am visiting more of your blogs, but I still cannot hit like on any post (thank you WordPress! NOT!)  And I do suspect that not all my comments are being seen or received.  I write a comment. It appears to be published, but when I go back to the post, it is no longer there.  I am considering changing blogging hosts, once I have researched my options. Suggestions welcomed!

Hang in there, as I grow and my blog changes.  Thank you for being here!

“Don’t Just

Don’t just learn, experience.
Don’t just read, absorb.
Don’t just change, transform.
Don’t just relate, advocate.
Don’t just promise, prove.
Don’t just criticize, encourage.
Don’t just think, ponder.
Don’t just take, give.
Don’t just see, feel.
Don’t just dream, do.
Don’t just hear, listen.
Don’t just talk, act.
Don’t just tell, show.
Don’t just exist, live.”
― Roy T. Bennett

Leaving Iceland and getting back to NY

28 Monday Aug 2023

Posted by in Daily Life, Finding Me, travels

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Downtown Reykjavik

Downtown Reykjavik

“The traveler sees what he sees. The tourist sees what he has come to see.” ― G.K. Chesterton

The fifth day in Iceland was the day we were leaving.

The day before, Michael had driven over 10 hours.  By the time we got to the hotel he was exhausted, as expected, so we didn’t go out and went straight to bed.

He had hiccups that were persistent and kept getting in the way of his sleep. We Googled and tried some of the techniques recommended to stop hiccups. They would work for a while, but then would return.  Eventually we fell asleep.

The next morning, I wanted to have breakfast first and then leave for the airport.  Michael wanted to skip breakfast and leave right away.  Our flight was at 11:30am.  In the end, I agreed with Michael, we still had to stop at the gas station and fill up the tank.

His hiccups came back again, on and off.

We stopped at a gas station to get gas, and made it to the airport with a lot time to spare.   We checked in, and then got breakfast.  There was not a lot to choose from, so we got croissants and coffee. 

We had to take a bus to get to the plane, I haven’t had to do that in a long time.  It was an uneventful flight.  To eat, they gave us a choice of chicken sandwich or cheese platter.  I got the chicken, and Michael got the cheese.  They were both good, but he barely touched his.

We both have Global Entry, and our bags had priority tags, so it took minutes to get out of JFK airport and into an Uber.  They were handing out Covid tests, and for a moment I thought about stopping to get some, but decided that we needed to just get home.  We got home it was only 2 pm, 6pm Iceland time.

“The most poetical thing in the world is not being sick.” ― G.K. Chesterton

As I was unpacking, Michael said: “I think I should take a Covid text”. What? Seriously? Why? He answered: “because persistent hiccups can be a symptom of Covid”. He had just Googled and found that out that it can be a Covid symptom, although rare.

I got a test, and lo and behold: He was positive.  It was shocking to me.   Who knew hiccups can mean Covid?  It turns out the fatigue he was feeling was not only about the driving.

I tested negative. The next few days I woke up with a scratchy throat. Five days later we tested again. He was still positive, and I was still negative.  On day 10 we both tested negative.  I never got it, so I think my scratchy throat was just a cold.

By now he is already feeling back to himself, and back to the gym. I finally came back to the office.  Because I had been exposed, I made sure to stay away from the office. 

“One of the advantages of being disorganized is that one is always having surprising discoveries.” ― A.A. Milne

Back to the trip.  To summarize, it was a wonderful trip.  We did a lot in 4 days.  In hindsight, we would do some things differently, such as staying in hotels throughout the country, so we wouldn’t have to do too much driving in and out of Reykjavik.  I would have researched restaurants and coffee shops and already have a plan of times and places to stop to eat. 

But then again, it is fun not to have everything so planned.  It can be fun to just leave room for discovery.  Beautiful things can be found in the unexpected and unplanned.

As far as being an expensive place as everyone say, it is!  But with planning, it doesn’t have to be.  We bought our tickets and hotel just one week prior, so we probably overpaid.  There is an airline called Play Airlines that flies out of Stewart Airport, about 1 hour from me.  They sell tickets to Iceland for around $500.  Actually, I just checked and it is now $299.00.  We didn’t want to take a chance since we were going for only 4 days.  But when I retire, we will perhaps take a chance on budget airlines.

Iceland is gorgeous, clean and safe.  They even recommend hitchhiking!! I may go back at some point, but only after I crossed off some other countries off of my list first.  Well, I better start making that list then.