“I have suffered from being misunderstood, but I would have suffered a hell of a lot more if I had been understood.” ―
B and I texted back and forth on Thursday. We still seemed to be getting nowhere in text, and even later in a phone call. Sometimes I question if he is really understanding me.
We made plans the following day, Friday. We hoped that in person we could clear the air.
I went over to his house and he ordered Chinese food. But even before the food arrived, I had to start talking. He seemed to be content to just sweep everything under the rug and start over.
He got us a glass of wine and we proceeded to talk. Any conversation is better with alcohol 🙂
I like to talk things out and make sure to squash any problems, and prevent similar ones. To ignore issues would just postpone another argument down the road.
“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.” ―
We talked a lot about our wants, needs, assumptions and expectations. Well, I talked a lot. He mostly listened and apologized. He said he got sad and angry that day. He said he would try to be understanding of my limited free time now. He apologized for making that evening end on a sour note.
Sometimes I don’t know if he is agreeing with me to just make me shut up, or if he is really agreeing with me. According to my zodiac sign, Aries, I like to pick fights, so I being aware of not prolonging any issues just because I like to debate things.
For now it seems that we are on the same page but, really, only time will tell.
We agreed to continue to talk things out, and make sure that we are vocal about what we want and need from this relationship. We agreed we are not mind readers, so we will be clear on our communication. Fingers crossed.
“Sweet, crazy conversations full of half sentences, daydreams and misunderstandings more thrilling than understanding could ever be.” ― Beloved
For now, it seems we are back in a good place. Tonight we will be going out to dinner to celebrate our 2 month anniversary. I realize the silliness of it, but I decided to celebrate anything I can.
“Set your life on fire. Seek those who fan your flames.” – Rumi
Blessed with a Star on the Forehead 
Reblogged this on NEW BLOG HERE >> https:/BOOKS.ESLARN-NET.DE.
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Communication is the key. Do keep being honest and talk – and expect that from him too. All the best and fun going out again!
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Thank you Ute!
I will keep talking because I cannot keep things bottled up. I am hoping it is smooth sailing now.
Blessings!
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Happy 2 months anniversary 💕💞🎉
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Thank you Cassa! Such a milestone for me! lol
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😆☺️
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Thrilled for you Ana.
The way you live life…the way you express joy…the way you never seem to lose a chance to savour every little ‘bite’ of it..is inspiring! To say the least!
Life to you, is just another exhilarating exotic ‘dish’ you must try. You take one bite at a time..paying full attention to every nuance, every little hidden flavour! Your eyes open widely at every discovery. And a little sweet mischievous smile emerges when that happens..as if saying to the rest of the world ‘oh pity! Look how much you’re missing hiding among walls’.
I love all your stories. Keep loving and continue on ‘living’.
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oh Kat, you are such a poet!
I want to be that person you describe.
All I do is try my hardest to enjoy the moment and be as transparent as I can describing it.
Thank you for continuing to read and support me! I feel the love!
Blessings!
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Men and relationships. So difficult. If only they were more like us!
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Hi Alison,
If only, but then again, I can’t imagine two like me in the same relationship. lol We would spend days dissecting the relationship and discussing every detail.
Blessings to you!
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Thank you for sharing!!.. glad the evening went well…. perhaps that is his nature, to tread lightly to avoid saying something that might upset you?.. believe that you are on the right track, both of you spending time learning more about each other, likes and dislikes, dreams, wishes, etc. and over time with patience find a middle road that works for the both of you… key words; patience and understanding…. “True love doesn’t happen right away; it’s an ever-growing process. It develops after you’ve gone through many ups and downs, when you’ve suffered together, cried together, laughed together, loved together.” (Ricardo Montalban)… 🙂
Until we meet again….
May flowers always line your path
and sunshine light your way,
May songbirds serenade your
every step along the way,
May a rainbow run beside you
in a sky that’s always blue,
And may happiness fill your heart
each day your whole life through.
(Irish Saying)
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HI Larry,
I think you are right. He did mention not wanting to upset me. I am just afraid he holds things back because of that.
I am hoping that with time he opens up. Patience and understanding indeed, I will need to keep repeating that 🙂
Thank you for your wise words and blessings to you!
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Perhaps in time you will be able to tell him that he can be honest and upfront with you, a little at a time… 🙂
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I do hope that the communication gets better with time… so patience and understanding it is!
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Hopefully, the talking cleared the air and created more understanding.
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Hi Brad,
It is my hope also. It cleared some, but some I have to agree to let it go.
Thank you and blessings to you!
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Hugs…
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Sometimes when you are really excited about getting together again, after an absence, it all goes wrong! That has happened many times with my much traveled husband and I. Talking it out can put it all back in perspective again. Good luck, Ana! I hope your mother has a good trip – and she has to be your priority for the next 20 days.
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Hi Kerry,
You got that right! Expectations gets built up with the absence and distance, making it very hard for reality to match it!
My mom is definitely my priority and I think he understands it now.
Thank you and blessings to you!
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I empathize with his desire to be close to you. Ah, love – how sweet it is!
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Interesting you said that. That is exactly how he put it: “I just want to be close to you”
I am trying not to misunderstand his “want” with “need”
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Congrats on your two month anniversary! At this point, I think a lot of couples hold things back. Nothing quite scares the other so much as over exuberance and expectation. Still, at least for me, this stage should not be complicated by ghosts of previous relationships, which I think is the reason for a lot of misconceptions and disagreements. Be open, yet guarded, too. Kind of paradoxical, but necessary, IMO. And above all else…
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oh Rob, you rascal you!!! You just had to, didn’t you? lol
I agree with you that this stage should be light and carefree, but it is so hard at this point in life not to let the ghosts of the past interfere.
I am a little too much in all areas, so at the moment, I am trying to tone it down.
” Be open, yet guarded” – I like that!!
… and he does share a home with a cat lol
Blessings to you and thank you for the combination of wisdom and humor!
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Mars and Venus – Men and Women. I like how you recognize your communication styles so well. Since we all live in our own bubbles it is hard to know what anyone else is thinking and so we can only hope to bridge that gap somehow. I wonder how stepping back and listening and observing his actions what you can surmise? Does he lack your strength in expressing himself? Has past relationships made him react differently in dating situations? All we can do is what we can do and you are trying and “the alcohol helps” Hugs♥
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Hi David,
That is on the mark! I think he and I have such different communication styles. I want to talk, talk, talk, and if I don’t I keep things bottled up inside and resent him for it later.
We both have been hurt in the past, as anyone else at this stage in life, so I think we both fear getting hurt again.
Stepping back and taking a look is a great advice that I will try to heed. Without driving myself nuts of course.
A glass wine fixes a lot lol
Thank you and blessings to you!
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I wish I was joining for that glass of wine, I suspect our chat would be light hearted and fun. ♥
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It would be delightful, and I have added that to my list of things to do 🙂
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“Sometimes I don’t know if he is agreeing with me to just make me shut up,”
My son’s first sentence was “mom too many words”.
😂
I think it’s a common problem with most men or with us.. ha!
Glad you are talking and happy 2 month anniversary. I’m with you.. Celebrate everything Ana Star! 💖👏
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hahaha, I have been trying to talk less, but when I do I keep it inside and then it is not good either lol
Your son was probably exhausted from all the talk from Mom and sisters 🙂
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hahaaha i totally get you! I know right?! the poor boy.. he’ll probs never have kids or a wifte.. hahah 💖😘😂
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I need to focus more on the quotes you include in your posts. They are so appropriate to the subject at hand. The one by Shaw is classic.
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Hi Dave,
I do try to use quotes that are in line with the post. I don’t always succeed, but every now and then it hits the mark!
Thank you and blessings to you!
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