Monthly Archives: July 2021

The fallen flower

23 Friday Jul 2021

Posted by in Daily Life, Finding Me, Mosaic and other crafts

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“If we demand perfection from ourselves we are not living in the real world…The inherent problem in the relationship between the ideal & the real is that the ideal judges the real as unacceptable and brings down condemnation and wrath on the real. This sets up an adversarial relationship between the two and like all adversaries, they move further and further apart.” ― Henry Cloud, Changes That Heal: The Four Shifts That Make Everything Better…And That Anyone Can Do

I just finished this piece and it makes me so happy to look at it.

The idea started with some flowers I found at the studio from some other project.  I used a store-bought ready to hang frame.  

I cut an old blue mug in half for the vase. I am choosing to leave it as, with the nicks in it. I added the flowers, then the white tiles for the background.  Then different green glasses and mirrors for the additional leaves.

I was going to use green grout, but it didn’t feel perfect. In the end, I put gray grout on top of the green.  It is hard to tell in the pictures but there are hints of green in the final product and it gives the idea of old and used.  Exactly what I wanted.

I chose to leave the frame in the natural wood, instead of painting it white or some other color.

“Take these broken wings and learn to fly.” ― Paul McCartney, Blackbird Singing: Poems and Lyrics, 1965-1999

“Doctoring her seemed to her as absurd as putting together the pieces of a broken vase. Her heart was broken. Why would they try to cure her with pills and powders?”― Leo Tolstoy, Anna Karenina

“The storm is out there and every one of us must eventually face the storm. When the storm comes, pray that it will shake you to your roots and break you wide-open. Being broken open by the storm is your only hope. When you are broken open you get to discover for the first time what is inside you. Some people never get to see what is inside them; what beauty, what strength, what truth and love. They were never broken open by the storm. So, don’t run from your pain — run into your pain. Let life’s storm shatter you.” ― Bryant McGill, Simple Reminders: Inspiration for Living Your Best Life

Somewhat like a flower

21 Wednesday Jul 2021

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating, Finding Me, Mosaic and other crafts

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“Tired, tired with nothing, tired with everything, tired with the world’s weight he had never chosen to bear.” ― F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Beautiful and Damned

Hello, I hope everyone has been well. There is a lot going on here, and at the same time, nothing.  If that makes any sense at all.

I canceled two dates.  The two men were both annoying me for different reasons so I decided not to meet them.  I have been on this canceling phase for some reason. It will pass. 

I am meeting my friend Anthony tonight.  I miss him and our conversations, so I am looking forward to it.  He nourishes me spiritually.  Thanks heavens for the friends that brighten our lives.

“Feelings are for the soul what food is for the body.” ― Rudolf Steiner, How to Know Higher Worlds: A Modern Path of Initiation

I have finished two mosaics pieces.  One is below, and and the other will be on the next post.

I think I am the lazy mosaic maker.  I often start with a canvas with already a design there and frame, and go from there.  I have been told canvas don’t work  for mosaics but it has been working for me.  

I have been trying different materials and techniques.  I see growth and it feels great.

It looks better in person, I promise 🙂 The colors don’t look quite right in the pictures.

“That which causes us trials shall yield us triumph: and that which make our hearts ache shall fill us with gladness. The only true happiness is to learn, to advance, and to improve: which could not happen unless we had commenced with error, ignorance, and imperfection. We must pass through the darkness, to reach the light.” ― Albert Pike

 

Memories, Old and New

15 Thursday Jul 2021

Posted by in Daily Life, Daily Message, Dating, Finding Me

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“I can only note that the past is beautiful because one never realises an emotion at the time. It expands later, and thus we don’t have complete emotions about the present, only about the past.” ― Virginia Woolf

Last weekend my sister, a couple of friends, and I went to Vernon, NJ.  We stayed at a condo on the Black Creek Sanctuary. It is only one and a half hours from my home. 

On the way there I realized that we passed right by Greenwood Lake, NY.  That is where M. lived.  He is the guy that I dated in January and February last year.  It brought back some memories.  It was the carefree time before the pandemic. He turned out to be a zero, but still we had some nice moments.

The place we stayed at was so beautiful and peaceful.  There are tons to do in the area, but we didn’t do much.  The weather didn’t help.  We enjoyed the pool and BBQed mostly.  We also managed to drive around the area and visit local shops.

Black Creek Sanctuary. It was too muddy to walk around, but a gorgeous place!

Great place to stay at and enjoy nature.

All around the property, there were gardens, and places to fish, hike, etc.

We visited a couple of farmer markets and antique shops

Greenwood Lake, NY – holder of memories

We will go back again to the same place at the end of the month.  We are hoping to do more then.  I am also hoping to go there in the winter, as this place is part of a skiing resort, so I am curious to try this mountain.

On the way home we stopped by Greenwood Lake, NY.  I wanted to show my sister and my friends the area.  Memories of a short-lived potential romance came and stayed with me.

No regrets. Not wanting the past to come back, or change anything. Just enjoying having had experiences and living a full life.

Greenwood Lake: It felt like discovering a new place, or is it, rediscovering an old place?

“Our memory is a more perfect world than the universe: it gives back life to those who no longer exist.” ― Guy de Maupassant

 

Another lackluster date update

10 Saturday Jul 2021

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating, Finding Me

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“But you cant shut everyone out. I mean you have to have someone to love. . .someone to hold on to. . . someone–” ― Hubert Selby Jr., Requiem for a Dream

I have been canceling a lot dates lately.  I get excited about a person and schedule a date.  Immediately after, I start thinking of all the reasons why it will not work out.  Then I cancel it.  Why spend the energy and waste the perfume?  And of course, I don’t want to waste anybody’s time either.

I am not being pessimistic. I am just being being practical. And perhaps a bit lazy and disillusioned.

Still, I managed to go on a few dates the last couple of weeks.

Date 1:  We went to La Herradura, right in my neighborhood.  It is a Mexican place, and the food is always great there.  My date had mole chicken and a beer.  I often have the same thing there: quesadillas and a passion fruit mojito.  We both enjoyed our choices.

He is a 65 year old retired insurance agent.  We talked a lot about his grown kids and grandkids.  We also talked about his move to Florida at the end of the year. He is very family oriented and very happy about being retired. 

I am all about family also, but there is nothing sexy and romantic about talking about grandchildren and retiring in Florida.  Perhaps because I don’t have kids and grandkids. Perhaps because retiring in Florida was never my dream. 

He seems to have his life already planned and I would have to come in and make myself fit in.  I hate to say it, but in that sense he felt too old for me.  

“If you still think you’re a young pup then you are, no matter what the calendar says” ― John Grogan, Marley and Me: Life and Love With the World’s Worst Dog

Date 2: We went to Red Plum in Mamaroneck, NY.  It was my first time there.    My date had sushi and a beer.  I don’t eat sushi. I had a fried rice and crispy eggplant.  I really enjoyed my drink that was made with passion fruit, cranberry juice, vodka and some other stuff.

He is a 52 year old professional musician with a day job.  He plays some theatre and concert jobs.  He was handsome and pleasant.  We had some things in common, but I don’t think there was enough in common. 

He doesn’t own a TV and spends his evening studying different subjects, specially languages.  I admire that discipline, but it is not me. I want to watch TV, learn languages, exercise, etc.  I want it all, and he is more focused on a couple of things.   I think we would annoy each other in the long run.

I should be meeting 2 guys this week.  If I don’t cancel…

“Can I do it? I’d rather not try and fail.”    “That’s stupid talk, Maya. Every try will not succeed. But if you’re going to live, live at all, your business is trying. And if you fail once, so what? Old folks say, Every shuteye ain’t sleep and every goodbye ain’t gone. You fail, you get up and try again.” ― Maya Angelou, The Heart of a Woman

 

A perfect imperfect weekend!

08 Thursday Jul 2021

Posted by in Daily Life, Finding Me

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Last week my sister and I decided to take Thursday and Friday off and make it a 5 day weekend.  It was not very smart since the last days of the month and of the semester are normally our busiest at work.

We decided to stay at the hotel at Foxwoods Casino and during the day go to Misquamicut Beach in Rhode Island, just 20 minutes away.  

We were also going to spend time with my friend in Westerly, RI.  She just got engaged, and we planned to take the happy couple out for a celebration.

The plan was to go away for 3 days, and then spend Sunday and Monday with local friends.

We had fun, but things didn’t go according to plan. 

It rained, so we never enjoyed the beach, or even the pool at the hotel. 

We made zero money at the casino. Not that I ever expect to come home with money, but I expect to be able to play longer.

We never saw my friend.  They both got ill and we couldn’t get together. 

The meal at most restaurants were lackluster.   Only one meal was worth the calories.  The food at Guy Fieri’s never disappoints.  One evening we even went to have appetizers at another restaurant after having had a very mediocre dinner at Hash House.

Fun place to be. Better when I win, but fun no matter what.

Dippin’ Dots is always a highlight for me. I have this ice cream every time I am there. Just love it!

The view from our room. This is the day we arrived. The only day it didn’t rain.

When I go to to Foxwoods, I have to stop at Mohegan Sun.

Just a pleasure to be out and see people with no masks. Feels normal again.

We drove and walked around Mystic, CT and the sea shore of Rhode Island.  That is always fun!

Sunday and Monday we spent some times with friends we hadn’t seen in ages. That was a lot fun.

Plans go wrong for different reasons.  Sometimes it is just to remind us to make better plans next time 🙂 or to teach us to be more flexible and understanding.

I am leaving work earlier tomorrow to go away for the weekend again.  This time we are going to a resort in NJ to just enjoy nature and the pool.

Stay tuned for a date report. 🙂

Feeling blessed, wishing you all a blessed weekend!