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“Destiny doesn’t do home visits… you have to go for it yourself.”
― Carlos Ruiz Zafón

So which kind of guy will he be?

But before we get to him, let me bring you up-to-date.  There is A-The Renter, who is currently in Cabo San Lucas without me ☹.  We still exchange messages but at this point I feel I am cultivating a friendship.

Then there is The Swiss, we still message every now and then, but I am still not sure about him even as a friend.  I still feel that he is all about himself.

Enter the new guy.  I am calling him The Enigma.  I was not sure what to call him.  He strikes me as the Bad Boy Prince Charming, but that was a bit too long.  I am not sure what to make of him and even if I can handle him and his history, which there seems to be a lot there. 

He is 48 years old, but seems to have lived many lifetimes.  He is completely different from guys I dated before.  The way he writes me is so eloquent, intelligent and open.  He is patient and gentle (yes I get that from his writing 🙂 and still he seems like the guy that is comfortable engaging in a bar fight.

“If you always do what is easy and choose the path of least resistance, you never step outside your comfort zone. Great things don’t come from comfort zones.”― Roy Bennett

He is well read, ex-military, volunteer in animal shelters. Has a bunch of tattoos and will probably get more.  We couldn’t be more different and yet we are so similar in our world views and what we want for ourselves.  I don’t want to say too much about him, as I always want to err on the side of not giving too much info about someone. 

We exchanged messages on Match for a couple of weeks before I was willing to give him my number.  We have spoken a few times.  We had a miscommunication where I thought he was ghosting me already.  I had jumped to conclusions. He explained himself and proceeded to give me all his info: full name, address, phone, email.  He even gave me his mother’s info as a last resort if I ever need to find him. 🙂 

“Your assumptions are your windows on the world. Scrub them off every once in a while, or the light won’t come in.”― Isaac Asimov

I realized that I sometimes blame new guys for the sins of old ones.  I need to be watchful of that and give new guys a fair chance.  It is a balancing act, to use my experiences as a guide but not let them make me pre-judge someone.

He is off Match for now because he says he wants to focus on 1 person at a time.   We are probably going out Saturday.  I need to confirm it.

From ghost to Prince in just a few hours. He scares me and excites me.  The possibilities seem endless and exciting. I am choosing to embark on this new adventure whole heartedly. 

“To be sensual, I think, is to respect and rejoice in the force of life, of life itself, and to be present in all that one does, from the effort of loving to the breaking of bread.”― James Baldwin

Today, along with his info he also sent me the video below:

I’m not the guy

You can categorize me
Lump me with the others
If that’s the way you wanna play
You can say that the way it’s been
Is exactly, the way that it’s gotta be
It’ll make you feel right
If you gotta feel right
And if you’re willing to look truthfully
I think you’ll see
That babe I’m not the guy who hurt you
Many years ago

I’m not the guy
I’m not the guy
I’m not the guy

Babe what are you seeing?
When you look in my eyes
Maybe someone from a magazine
Is itt someone who hurt you?
You don’t gotta explain it
I used to read that magazine myself
But last night in the kitchen, yeah
I cancelled my subscription, yeah
And maybe you’ll believe me baby
When I say that you don’t need to carry yours
Around anymore

‘Cause I’m not the guy
I’m not the guy
I’m not the guy

I’m not the guy who made you crawl into the shell
I’m not the guy who threw your heart against the wall
I’m not the guy who made you feel like all you did was lost
I’m not the guy who loved you babe, and kept his fingers crossed

I’m not the guy
I’m not the guy
I’m not the guy

I’m not the guy who tried to hide his wedding ring
I’m not the guy who disappeared after the spring
I’m not the guy who took care of you for a weekend stay
I’m not the guy who loved you babe, and took his love away

I’m not the guy (6x)

(lyrics: Dan Bern)