“It is easy to hate and it is difficult to love. This is how the whole scheme of things works. All good things are difficult to achieve; and bad things are very easy to get.”―
I caught myself being short tempered yesterday. I was at the new office dealing with different issues. There was the electrician, the cable guy and the appliance delivery guy. The delivery guy was rude. I tried to ignore it and make conversation, but all I got was grunting. I didn’t say anything but I wanted to. I wanted to ask what was his problem. But I didn’t. Instead I gave him a $20 tip.
I realized that my interaction with him was going to be very short lived and there was no need to be confrontational. Also, I realized that I have no idea what battles he is fighting. He is out there putting himself at risk so people like me can get their appliances, and whatever else we order. I decided not to make any assumptions. Not everyone is friendly and likes to talk.
I constantly need to remind myself to be less critical of others and to stop expecting people to act as I would. I needed to choose respect and understanding.
“Consideration for others is the basis of a good life, a good society.”
Confucius uses the word “jen” to describe love or humanity, or more specific, a compassionate love for humanity/the world. Having jen is having compassion and love for each other and that is something that we need a lot now more than ever.
Nowadays it seems that everything is about division and we are forced to take sides on every issue. I don’t mean to imply that people should stand in silence in the face of injustice, but not everything is a fight, not everything needs to be made into a war.
“Attack the evil that is within yourself, rather than attacking the evil that is in others.”―
I am a democrat but I don’t need to love everything about the democrats and hate the republicans. I don’t have to choose a side.
I want people to stay at home, but I am not a hypocrite. I stayed as long as I could. Once the lease and construction of the new office was finalized I have gone out every now and then to get it up and running. I expect deliveries. Things don’t magically show up. There are many people behind each package I get. That fact is not lost on me.
Everyone staying at home 100% of the time it is just not doable. Not only from the monetary aspect of it, but also the mental one. Not everyone is equipped to stay that long locked in.
“What the superior man seeks is in himself; what the small man seeks is in others.”― Confucius
Let’s remember that to everything there are exceptions. There is always the gray area. There is the need for common sense. There is the need to be reasonable, to reflect before jumping to conclusions. There is the need to respect our difference of opinions.
Before a quick retort, before an unkind word, before a confrontation, stop and reflect. Ask yourself if it is really necessary to act in such a way. Kindness is the answer to every question.
We need more jen. According to Confucius we are all born with jen, but it up to us to cultivate it.
“Tzu Chang asked Confucius about jen. Confucius said, “If you can practice these five things with all the people, you can be called jen.”
Tzu Chang asked what they were.
Confucius said, “Courtesy, generosity, honesty, persistence, and kindness.
If you are courteous, you will not be disrespected;
if you are generous, you will gain everything.
If you are honest, people will rely on you.
If you are persistent you will get results.
If you are kind, you can employ people.”
So, today try to look with kindness to all, starting at home with your family. We are all struggling. Some are better equipped to deal with this quarantine. Let’s respect each other’s limitations.
Let’s not assume and impose our opinions on others. Less judgment and pointing fingers. Let’s create a Love Pandemic. Let’s spread kindness.
“If there is righteousness in the heart, there will be beauty in the character.
If there is beauty in the character, there will be harmony in the home.
If there is harmony in the home, there will be order in the nations.
When there is order in the nations, there will peace in the world.”