“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.”―
At the moment I am back in Brazil at my parent’s house for another few days. I was here in September to pick up my mom for her semiannual trip to NY. Now I returned to bring her back. My dad doesn’t fly so I get to spend time with him on these trips.
It is hard seeing my parents age and become more and more dependent on others. During those trips I am constantly trying to think of ways to make their lives easier.
Often the hardest part is convincing my Mom to accept help and to accept my improvement ideas. Right now I want to make some changes to the first floor of the house to create a bedroom for her.
One moment she is okay with the idea, but in the next she is very mad about it. When the house was built my parents were in their early 50s. Getting old and dependent was far from their minds. My mom is now 84. My dad is 83. The house is full of stairs and dangerous steps.
I am mad and annoyed at my mom’s stubbornness. I am the one that will pay for it and I am willing to be here to oversee this construction (removing floor tiles and building a wall, etc).
Then it hit me! My mom is not the problem, I am! Why must things be as I want? She has not asked for this kind of meddling. The only person I need to be mad at is myself.
Many years ago I visited a Shaman and he told me: “You are not God. Why do you think you can fix everyone’s problems? Why do you think you have to be the one to take care of your family? Are they asking? How about you taking care of your own life?
Those words resonated with me then and now they come to mind again. I will, once again, try to Let go and let God. I can only to do so much. The rest I need to let God (the Universe) handle it. I will try to wait to be asked for help and not try to force my help unto people, specially my family.
It is a matter of acceptance and control. Instead of accepting that they are aging and that there will be issues, I am doing all I can to deny that fact and control the situation. I am trying to control not only the situation but the outcome. I try to think of potential problems and what I can do to overcome them.
The law of nature is clear and merciless. My parents are aging and will eventually die. I need to accept that for my parents but also for myself. I cannot protect then from falling or getting hurt. I cannot foresee every problem. I also can’t force them to agree to do whatever I want.
I am letting go and letting God!
I am witnessing what age and health issues are doing to my parents. I am seeing their struggles, not only physically but mentally. Am doing all I can to be in the best shape that I can, body and mind, by the time I get to their age?
Sadly the answer is no. There are tons that I could be doing to make my future better and old age less of a factor. Watching my parents is a wake up call for action in my own life.
Think about it: What are you going to be like at 80 if you continue doing what you are doing at this moment?
The house below is where I am writing from at this moment. Today was so hot and it is only spring now. I am looking forward to cooler NY in a few days.
Thank you for stopping by ♥