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The third date with B was on Wednesday night.  We went to a new restaurant in my town called Maria.  The place was beautiful and cozy, the food and service was good.  I would go back.

I met B in front of my building.  He brought me the roses in the picture above.  He opens car doors, he pulls chairs, he laughs at all of my jokes, he looks adoringly at me.  He is a gentleman.

But something still seems to keep me from investing 100% of me into this relationship.  I overthink things.  I think in terms of months down the road.

I can think of 2 reasons why I would be hesitant:

  1. I am afraid of getting hurt. I want to say that is not the case, but could it be?
  2. I am afraid of hurting him. For sure I would rather break things off now if I know that I am going to end up hurting him. Will I be able to like him the same way that he seems to like me?

It seems that I went from having my heart do all the talking to now just having my mind completely take over. I am lost without my heart to guide me.

I brought up to him the 2 concerns that I mentioned in the prior post.

  1. The financial issue.  I am concerned he doesn’t know how to manage his money. I am concerned that he spends frivolously instead of paying bills first.  To this he mentioned that when he was married his wife liked to spend a lot money.  He said that he tried to make her happy by buying her whatever she wanted I called him on it, after all it takes two to tango.  He said that he has learned his lesson and never uses a credit unless he has the money to pay.  His credit card bill was 70k and is now 18k.  I am keeping an open mind.
  2. Liking me a bit too much too soon.  I mentioned to him that I like attention but if it is overboard, it seems fake and he will send me running.  Jokingly, he said he will try not to like me too much.  I have noticed that since the date he has toned down the texting and calling. I feel better about it.

oh yeah, I am forgetting the best part. We kissed, and it was good!  Soft lips, gentle, and yet passionate.  I wouldn’t mind kissing him again.

At this point I am choosing to take the slow, one day at a time approach.

Stay tuned… I am!

“Hopeless heart that thrives on paradox; that longs for the beloved and is secretly relieved when the beloved is not there.” ― Jeanette Winterson, The Passion