I am going on a third date with B tonight. I am still unsure about him but I am trying to keep an open mind.
B is 48, young and fun. He is in amazing shape, and more amazingly he thinks I am in great shape (I am not, losing 10/20 pounds in my belly and thighs would make everything so much better). Besides a job in the financial industry he also teaches martial arts in the evenings. He is recently divorced and at this point has a good relationship with the ex and the 2 college aged kids.
The first date was in a restaurant near my home, called Magnos. It was fun and we talked non-stop. The food was almost an afterthought. The second date was near his home at a restaurant called Mamajuana. Again it was a lot fun. He drove me home after the dinner.
I thought he would kiss me and therefore I would have a better idea about chemistry but he gave me a peck on the lips. It just felt friendly and not at all romantic.
On the first date, he was refreshingly honest, just like me. I normally think that I talk too much and volunteer too much information about myself. But at the end of the day I feel it is better for somebody to know me right away. I don’t have time to waste, and I don’t want to waste anybody’s time either. I have yet to master the art of leaving a little mystery.
“Money is only a tool. It will take you wherever you wish, but it will not replace you as the driver.” ―
Even though his honesty was refreshing I am not sure I wanted to know that he owes money on his credit card and hopes to pay it off in 2 years. He also said he likes to travel first class and to treat himself well. I guess being told something like that gave me the impression that he is not good with his money.
I am extremely conservative when it comes to finances. I guess because I have been supporting myself and helping my family since I was 17 years old made me realize the need to spend wisely and save every penny. If I don’t have it I don’t spend it. I use my credit often because I want to get the miles/points but I pay it off every month. The idea of letting debt get out of hand scares me.
Don’t get me wrong I will spend on the things and people I love. I work hard and save for the luxury of treating my family, of going on trips, of being able to help other and not living paycheck to paycheck.
“I’d like to live as a poor man with lots of money.” ―
Because he mentioned debt, on the first date I offered to split the bill. That is something I never do. I feel that the man should be able to afford the first date, and that is why I don’t care what it is, I am fine with a cup of coffee at Starbucks. When I offered to help he paused then said: You get the next one. I would have rather another response, but I asked so I cannot have both ways.
So the second date I paid for. I have no problems paying for anything but at the same time I don’t want to feel burdened or pressured to do so, or because I am guilty that I have more money than he does.
The other issue, and I even hate to say it: He seems to like me too much. I know I am a catch 😉 but he just met me. I like being told that I am funny, smart, etc, but if someone keeps saying that over and over it starts to sound a bit phony. He calls and texts every day, I feel closed in. My sister says that I would be jumping for joy every time the phone rang if I like him. That fact that I don’t is perhaps a sign.
According to astrology, if you want to attract an Aries woman(me), one of the things you must do is:
- Keep her guessing– she likes attention and she likes to be the centre of the stage, but it is not important for her. What is important is that she has a good time; and to have a good time she needs to be challenged in the relationship. If you are too easy to conquer, she loses interest quickly; if you are too difficult, she’ll move on. You need to practice the blow hot, blow hot for a while until you get make up her mind.
Sad to say that is way too accurate about me.
Tonight I think I will bring up those two issues tonight. It will be uncomfortable but necessary, and perhaps he deserves to know exactly the way I feel instead of just breaking things off before it starts.
Perhaps I am just afraid of commitment and the moment I have someone that likes me I am ready to run so I just looking for any and all excuses I can find.
So, wish me luck, I will be back here tomorrow to report on the 3rd date.
“Without commitment, you cannot have depth in anything, whether it’s a relationship, a business or a hobby.” ―