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“When they go low, we go high.”  – ― Michelle Obama

I received a hate comment last week on my last post.  Actually not only a hate comment but this person wrote a whole post on his blog dedicated to calling me names.  He called me bitch and man-hater among other things.

He said I wouldn’t have the balls to print what he said and comment on it.  While I have more guts in my pinkie finger than he has in his whole body I choose not to reveal his comment and blog and therefore give him any acknowledgment.

But I am choosing to write about it here.  This is is my blog.  This is my space.  I invite everyone to be honest when commenting and to feel free to say whatever they think.  But I expect everything to be done with respect.  Hate is not tolerated!

While my blog is anonymous I do not use the anonymity to spread hatred. I use it to give me the freedom to express myself without exposing my personal life.  While I don’t expect everyone to agree with me, I expect the disagreements to be done with respect.

I don’t hold the key to the truth. I hold the key to my feelings and I try to be as transparent as I can with them while not tearing anyone down in the process.  If someone takes offense to anything I say I am sincerely sorry about that.  My intention is never to offend or hurt.  I would invite this person to reflect upon the reason why they felt offended by the words of a stranger.  I also invite healthy conversation about any disagreement.

This is a moment in the US, and perhaps in the world where people think it is okay to attack each other and spread hate whenever they disagree with anything.  I am not going to be a part of it.  I choose to spread love whenever I can, and if I can’t spread love I choose to shut up.

“Some people have a way with words, and other people…oh, uh, not have way.”  ― Steve Martin

To anyone that let other’s words affect their day and their mood I say: don’t let it. Don’t give any mean spirited person power over you.

Here are my bullet point advices, if I can so boldly offer them.

  • Don’t take anything personally.  I am glad that I have read the book “The Four Agreements” long ago and have learned not to take things personally.  Well, I am still learning but the more I do it the better I get.
  • Consider the source.   I listen to people I respect.  I listen to people that are my friends.  I listen to people that present their disagreements with respect. If someone that doesn’t know me decides to offend, that has no room in life. Criticism is okay, disrespect not.
  • Disagree with other respectfully.  When disagreeing with someone choose respect.  Do not use your words to cause pain, use words to bring clarity. We all know how to hurt each other if we want, but how about we choose love instead.
  • Am I being respectful with my writing?  Will my words hurt unnecessarily?  Do I need to offend to get my point across?  Can I express myself differently?
  • Words are powerful! Use yours, spoken and written, as weapons for peace whenever you can.  You can be powerful without putting anyone down.  Speak less, listen more.  Perhaps sometimes we need to read more and write less.
  • Do not engage hate!  Just leave.  Leave the conversation, leave the situation, before it gets to point of regret.
  • Do not react and over-react.  Take a breather, give it time and space before you address any situation that made you angry.  It is amazing how time has a way of making us see things clearly.

To this person I wish him peace.  I hope that he dedicates more time in the spreading of the good.  I hope he looks inward and reflects before assuming the worst in people.  I don’t assume the worst in him.  He is clearly hurting.  To him I wish healing and peace.  May you find power in love!

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