, , , , , ,

“Cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you, and to give thanks continuously. And because all things have contributed to your advancement, you should include all things in your gratitude.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson

I hope you all are having a wonderful holiday with your loved ones. It is always my prayer that everyone has shelter, food and loved ones around (family and/or family).

My gratitude list is immense and growing.  It is a blessing to be alive; everything else is the icing on the cake.  I have food, shelter and loved ones.  Speaking of loved ones, I am a bit disappointed to not be invited anywhere this Thanksgiving, but the truth is I would have probably declined the invitation anyway as I always choose to be alone on holidays.

To me is extremely important to constantly remind myself of all the blessings in my life and to constantly say thank you to everyone. Gratitude is happiness!

I have been having up and down moments due to many issues beyond my control. I know that it is not what happens to me, but how I handle it and react to it that matters.  I know I need to devote more time and energy to meditation and mindfulness, but I still struggle with that.  I see the benefits of it, but still I drag my feet at doing it.

“We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorns have roses.” – Alphonse Karr   

Update on last post:

Dentist. On Monday morning at 7:30 am I was sitting at my dentist’s door waiting for him to arrive.  My teeth, and specially my gums,  just didn’t look and feel right.  I knew something was wrong even though he had assured me that all was fine.

After additional x-rays he still could not see anything really wrong. So he decided to open the gum and clean around the implant.  After many shots of anesthesia, he opened the gum in the area and cleaned around the implant.  I left with a bunch of stitches and instructions not to eat on that side for 2 weeks.

It has been 5 days now and still it doesn’t feel completely right.  I had dental surgeries before that were longer and more involved than this one and I remembered being fine in no time and not even taking pain pills after the first day.  This time it is taking longer to feel right.  The gum looks white and weird and I still feel this dull faint pain on that side of my face. Perhaps I am older and weaker to pain. Thankfully I have a return scheduled for Monday morning.  I hope he gives me good news, or at least pacify my fears.

Writer: He asked me out this week on Tuesday or Wednesday but because of my dental issues I had to decline. We have been communicating daily and we will probably meet next week. He seems thoughtful and interested so we all shall see where this will go.

The Korean: He finally replied to my text later that day saying that was having a grouchy Saturday.  Since then we have been texting on and off.  He apologized for being busy with his son being off from school.  I accept someone being busy with family priorities, but it just feels like something else has changed.  And as a result my original interest has waned.

“Acknowledging the good that you already have in your life is the foundation for all abundance.” – Eckart Tolle

In the meantime some old ghosts from the past have returned.

The Naturopathic doctor.  We have been communicating on and off after having several dates over 2 years ago.  He has asked me out a couple of times since but I was always busy with something so I declined.  Two weeks ago I accepted a Sunday brunch invitation. It was fun catching up.  He is smart and our conversations are always enlightening. I don’t think there is any romance anymore but he has become a good friend.  Last Sunday he contacted me but I was at brunch with the guy I describing next so we scheduled a brunch date tomorrow.  Even though eating on one side of the mouth only is not fun I am still keeping the date.

The International lawyer.  I had a couple of dates with him over a year ago and due to busy schedule on both sides by the time we reconnected again he had a girlfriend.  Now that he broke up with the girlfriend he asked me out to catch up.  I am not proud and I need to eat so I accepted a brunch invitation last Sunday.  It was a lot fun as he is smart and fun. We have been texting and will probably get together again, but just as friends only for me.  I am not sure if he has romance in mind but to me that is gone.

At this moment the only one that I can perhaps see some romance down the line is the writer.

At the end of the day I am sitting here extremely grateful for everything in my life, the good and the bad.  All these dates, all these experiences, all these men, in the end helps me to get to know myself better.  It helps me realize what I need and want in my life.

Thank you everyone for taking the time to read, and the care to comment.  Your advice is invaluable, your friendship treasured!

“True happiness is to enjoy the present, without anxious dependence upon the future, not to amuse ourselves with either hopes or fears but to rest satisfied with what we have, which is sufficient, for he that is so wants nothing. The greatest blessings of mankind are within us and within our reach. A wise man is content with his lot, whatever it may be, without wishing for what he has not.” – Seneca