“Feelings come and go like clouds in a windy sky. Conscious breathing is my anchor.” – Thich Nhat Hahn

I have been taking 5 minutes in the morning when I wake up and 5 minutes before going to bed to meditate or to just be silent and try to turn off my mind.  For now I can’t silence it for the whole 5 minutes so when thoughts persist I just turn to affirmations that I made up such as: I deserve peace.  I deserve love.  I listen to the Universe and the Universe listens to me, etc.

It may seem silly but I credit those little 10 minutes a day with making a world of difference in my attitude and outlook.  Trying to be in the moment and in tune to my body, mind and breath has been incredible for me.  I hope to eventually be able to really let go of thoughts and also to devote more than 5 minutes.

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“No woman really wants a man to carry her off; she only wants him to want to do it.”  – Elizabeth Peters

This dating life remains an adventure.  On Sunday I was asked out by a guy I met on POF.  He was nice and even though he lived a little further than I would want I thought there was potential so I accepted.

This is exactly what he said:  “I was wondering what you were doing late Sunday afternoon was thinking we could meet for appetizers and cocktails”.

He chose a restaurant near my apartment.  We met at 5pm and set at the bar.  He ordered a beer and I ordered a cosmopolitan.  They served us some bread, which was delicious.  He asked me what I would like to eat and I said: anything but shellfish.  He chose an antipasto platter and a whole pizza pie.

While eating, and I need to point out that I had only a couple of bites of cheese and eggplant from the antipasto platter and only 1 slice of pizza. And of course the free bread.  He had the rest of the antipasto and 3 or 4 slices of pizza and took the rest home.

We talked about various things, with him focusing a little too much on how bitter he was at his ex-wife over splitting up the finances. He said if he gets married again he will get a prenuptial agreement.  I am not sure at which point but he eventually said:  “I like to “go dutch” on first dates, so there is no pressure on anyone. So the girl doesn’t feel she owes me anything”.

What?  did he expect me to pay for half?  I never felt I owe a guy anything because he paid for dinner.  While I have no problem paying for my share, cheap men is a real turn off for me.  Also he should have mentioned that before meeting.  He is the one that chose the place and the meal. I was okay with meeting at a coffee shop or at the library or any public place.  I don’t need anyone to buy me dinner or appetizers as I a requirement to meet.

When the bill came I just ignored it.  There is no way I was going to offer to pay half.  Still I thought we managed to have a good time, that is until we said good bye. I went in for a hug good bye and he kissed me on the lips.  I pulled away startled as I hadn’t thought there was any sparks for either one of us.  He tried again and said:  I have to see how you kiss.  I couldn’t get away fast enough.  Classless!

There will not be a second date!

“Never marry at all, Dorian. Men marry because they are tired, women, because they are curious: both are disappointed.” – OscarWilde