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Blessed with a Star on the Forehead

Monthly Archives: November 2016

Some people deserve no chances

21 Monday Nov 2016

Posted by A Star on the Forehead in Daily Life, Dating

≈ 50 Comments

Tags

being disappointed, believe actions, empty promises, no second chances, online dating, stupid men

clueless-text

The above are texts that I received from the man from my last post: https://atomic-temporary-33385295.wpcomstaging.com/2016/11/18/is-anyone-deserving-of-a-3rd-4th-5th-chance/

The first text is when he sent me the email I talked about in that post.  The second one I received last night, after not replying to his text or email.

I was shocked to get such a text. He is clearly not the person I once thought he was. Why would he write such a text? What makes him think that such a text is okay?  We had one date!  We have never held hands, kissed, anything.

I am so disgusted by this text.  I even feel like changing my phone number.  I hope I don’t have to.  I hope I won’t ever hear from him again.

At the end of the day this episode shows me:

  1.  I have to stop being so trusting and always expecting the best of people.  I have to be even more cautious. Not everyone deserves a second or more chances.  Don’t give people a chance to continue failing you and hurting you!
  2. Sometimes we have to forgo niceties.  No everyone is deserving of politeness.  If being nice puts you in an awkward situation or sends someone the wrong message, don’t be nice! Put yourself first!
  3. When people show you who they are by the way they act, believe them!  Don’t get fooled by pretty words and empty promises.  Talk is cheap.  Believe actions!

I am so happy I followed my gut and everyone’s advice and never replied.  I was really tempted to write a nice polite email back.  Thank you all for helping me make the right decision.

“If you’re betrayed, release disappointment at once.
By that way, the bitterness has no time to take root.”
― Toba Beta

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Is anyone deserving of a 3rd, 4th, 5th chance?

18 Friday Nov 2016

Posted by A Star on the Forehead in Daily Life, Dating, Finding Me

≈ 40 Comments

Tags

a convenient woman, an inconvenient man, choosing me, choosing silence, choosing what is best for me, ghosts from the past, making choices, online dating, relationship issues, respecting me

Out of the blue I receive a text from a man I had a date in the past.

He was telling me that he sent me an email and was eagerly waiting my reply.  Here is the email:

“Hello. I hope this e mail finds you well and getting ready for the holidays.

I’ve been thinking of you a lot these past few months, and came across our first e mail exchange. It brought back some memories, like that of our first date. Its hard (or not hard) to believe it was more than two years ago.

I realized, too, that we never got too far because I was not focused, nor ready to have you in my life.

Even more recently, I know I made contact with you but did not follow through. I know that made you angry and after I did not follow through with the planning of our date, you asked me not to contact you again.

After giving it a lot of thought, I want you to know that I have NOT EVER forgotten about you, was always extremely interested in you, and wanted you in my life. I still feel the same.

Ana, I want to see you again, see you regularly and see where we can take a relationship. I was unable previously to focus on you because I had not yet ended a relationship that wasn’t good, and needed to be ended, but lingered. I have also made some changes or modifications to my work life so I can have more leisure time, and also my business is now focused in Westchester County (where I believe you live still, New Rochelle?).

Ana, I come to you not knowing what is happening in your personal life-perhaps you’re married now, or whatever, but either way, I was not going to forgo contacting you to ask that you allow me to pursue you (court you? perhaps that’s better) again.

I know its short notice, but I have appointments in Westchester tomorrow and I would like to ask you if you would like to meet me for dinner. I have attached a picture of myself to jog your memory, but if you read the e mail threads, who I was (am) should come back to you.

I look forward to your response and hope it is a positive one. I might hope, too, that you are happy I came back to attempt to be in your life…

I realize I missed a great opportunity with you, Ana, and I would like to reclaim it, as well as a place in your heart.

Respectfully, Paul”

I am always willing to give people extra chances, but in this case I am just not willing to try again.  He has asked for chances before and has never followed through with his promises.

I canceled our first date.  After many email exchanges we were eager to meet each other, or so I thought.  On the afternoon of the date he says he can meet at 7 in a restaurant downtown (I am in Midtown).  He says he has a meeting there at 6 that ends at 7 and then he has a haircut at 8.  So he can meet me from 7 to 8.

I was shocked and told him that I didn’t appreciate being sandwiched between appointments.  Also he should have taken into account my location and he should be getting a haircut to meet me.  He offered to cancel the hair appointment and meet me Midtown, I declined.  The deed was done, and the moment was gone for me.

I am not sure how many times he canceled on me until we finally met.  And on that instance he was 30 minutes late.  I was about to leave.  The date was pleasant.  After that we had another date that he canceled because he had to take his dog to the vet.

I am not sure what happened after that, but I knew this was a person that I could not count on, and since he couldn’t be free for dates things fizzled.

I remembered he asking me to dinner a prior time when he was in my neck of woods and I ignored. And this time again it seems he is asking simply out of convenience, since he will be in Westchester anyway.

I don’t want to be convenient.  I want a man to go out of the way for me.

Although he was an interesting person and we had lots to talk about this is one time where I think that I should just let go and consider tried and done.

But here is my question:  Do I reply and say Thanks, but no thanks or do I just ignore it? Even though I want to treat people how I want to be treated which is I always want to be acknowledge and not ignored;  in this case I think I will choose silence.

“You can spend minutes, hours, days, weeks, or even months over-analyzing a situation; trying to put the pieces together, justifying what could’ve, would’ve happened… or you can just leave the pieces on the floor and move the fuck on.” -Tupac Shakur

 

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Trump! Now What?

09 Wednesday Nov 2016

Posted by A Star on the Forehead in Daily Life

≈ 32 Comments

Tags

2016 Election, Donald Trump, election results, Hillary Clinton, just believe it, miracles do happen, The future of America, tragedies and miracles

america

“Do you want to know who you are? Don’t ask. Act! Action will delineate and define you.” -Thomas Jefferson

I fought for my vote yesterday.  I had not changed my address since I last moved, but I knew that I would still be able to vote as I had moved within in the same county.  I printed the law reference and description and brought it with me.  It came in handy as I was originally turned away.  I had to point out the law and explain it (scary to see the misinformation of the people working there ).  I was finally allowed to vote via affidavit.  I wanted to make my voice heard and not sit idly by.

I felt proud to do my part.  My vote for Hilary was not really a vote for Hillary but a vote against Trump.  I never cared for Hillary but I felt I had no choice.  I could never support a loose cannon, a power hungry, egomaniac bully that thinks he has all the answers and is better than everyone else.

When the election results started coming in my mood started growing somber.  I decided to just to go to bed.  I had a doomed feeling in the pit of my stomach.  I was hoping for the best but deep down inside I knew things were not going to go as I had hoped.

“I know in my heart that man is good, that what is right will always eventually triumph, and there is purpose and worth to each and every life.”  – Ronald Reagan

I woke up at 4am (I have been waking up at 4 since I returned from Brazil) and I had texts from the musician (my date from a previous post) pronouncing his dismay. I tried to go back to sleep immediately in the hopes that this was just a bad dream.

I couldn’t.  I couldn’t stop my mind from thinking, from fearing, from predicting doom.  I couldn’t get the sadness out of my heart.

I am stunned! What happened?  How can a bully win as the president of the USA? What will be the future of the land of opportunity? How can I still be a proud American?

I hate to compare it but I feel like I felt when Brazil lost 1-7 to Germany at the World Cup.  This feels upside-down, absolutely wrong!  It is incomprehensible!  There is no world order!  While that was just a game that tucked at my heart strings; this is the future of a country, and I dare say the world, something not to joke about it.

“Let us never negotiate out of fear. But let us never fear to negotiate.” – john F. Kennedy

I am always so positive and can find a silver lining in anything and here I am, empty, grasping at straws!

I want to believe that out of great tragedies there will come great miracles. Perhaps there will be more unification against the fear of separation.  Perhaps there will be more love against the fear of rampant hate.

I hope, I believe, I pray!

Can a bully grow a heart?

Can the power hungry be fair?

Can an egomaniac think of others before himself?

Can the proud find humility in his heart?

Can he see and treat woman as equals?

Can he learn to listen to advice?

Can he respect opinions?

Can he be a good neighbor?

“I hope I shall possess firmness and virtue enough to maintain what I consider the most enviable of all titles, the character of an honest man.” -George Washington

Some times when I am watching a movie and at the end, well, there is no ending, I just sit there refusing to leave, dumbfounded that I was forced to sit through 2 hours and get no ending.  This is how I feel.  I don’t want to get up and accept that this is it! I want an ending.  I want a happy ending.

The US is starting to look like Brazil and I don’t mean the good stuff, warm hearts, friendly people, party atmosphere. I mean the upside politics, the powerlessness feeling of people, the doom and gloom of an uncertain future!

It is humbling and depressing!  A time to reevaluate, to act, to do!

May we unite and not divide!  We have a new president and may he be blessed with wisdom! May his be a government of fairness, justice, equality, progress, unification, love and respect!

Miracles do happen! Lets believe together! Peace First, Peace Always!

“Courage is not having the strength to go on; it is going on when you don’t have the strength.”  – Theodore Roosevelt

eagle

images from Google images

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