“Your assumptions are your windows on the world. Scrub them off every once in a while, or the light won’t come in.” – Isaac Asimov
As expected I am even busier now with my brother, his girlfriend and another 3 friends visiting from Brazil. It is chaotic because the friends decided to rent an Airbnb in the Harlem. Nothing against Harlem but they rented in an area out of the way for tourists and out of the way for me. It is so bad that they never went out in the evenings for fear of coming home in the dark. Next time perhaps someone will ask my input, after all I have only lived in New York for over 30 years.
I am doing my best to help out and provide them direction and fun. Tomorrow I am renting a mini-van to take them to the outlets. I hate outlets and I hate driving, so this goes on the list: things we do for family!
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I almost never go out of my office. I get in in the morning and only leave at the end of the day. But every now and then I get out to run an errand. It never fails that I see a homeless person in a corner. Were they always there and I never noticed or this problem is growing at an alarming rate? I always give money or buy them food. Yesterday was no different.
After getting out of the office to go to HSBC I find myself standing in line at Wells Fargo. I realized my mistake and walked out. I see a man sitting in a corner and offer to buy him lunch. He asks if I could get him soda also. I get him the food and soda and go back to the office without doing what I had intended to do which is go to HSBC.
At the end of the day when I am returning home, in my town, I pass by an older man rummaging through a garbage can. I go back and the following conversation ensues:
Me: Are you hungry?
Him: No (sounding offended), do I look hungry?
Me: I don’t know, I just felt I should ask.
Him: I have $240.00 on this pocket (patting the left side of his pants and patting the other side as if trying hard to remember how much he had on the other pocket)
He proceeds to tell what he had for dinner: steak, potatoes and green beans and some dessert.
Me: oh then you have more money than I do. Can I borrow some?
Him: How much do you need?
I said good night and walked out. Would he really have loaned me money? Who knows, but this exchange illustrates the old adage: “Never judge a book by its cover”; and my favorite new one: Don’t assume, ask!
I had a homeless man yell at me once when I gave him food so I never assume they want and/or anything, I ask.
So the take away here is: Never assume anything. Ask, clarify, even at the risk of sounding redundant.
“How would your life be different if…You stopped making negative judgmental assumptions about people you encounter? Let today be the day…You look for the good in everyone you meet and respect their journey.” – Steve Maraboli
dippadedoda-blogs said:
I believe your assumption was right the man is homeless and in need of not food but medical care.
Did he show you the money? And why did you walk away after asking to borrow from him? Did you probably know he didn’t have money.
I can imagine how many homeless people are offer to buy them food. If you assume so wrong how come you knew he could use a hot meal? You judgement of a homeless person by his cover I would think he needed a bath, clothes, haircut and shelter. The second and most important need is medication and therapy that will restore hope to a man who is feeling hopeless. Not to be confused with faith but once you give them back their hope you can introduce him to Jesus and believe me this man alone and broken will have the best gift of all. Despair will disappear hope will be returned and faith will save his soul.
Restore that mans faith and help Jesus accomplish his goal he died SO THAT THE “Whole world will be saved”. We are waiting for Jesus return, but we must all believe before he come. God wants all his children not just some! Let’s get out of this hell and rise to the kingdom bringing our sisters and brothers. Can you with the Holy Spirit save someone? Of course don’t assume you can’t! And that book has no cover it is the power of God! I assume you believe❣️
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A Star on the Forehead said:
I still don’t know the man’s situation. He said he didn’t need help. I can’t force him to accept help just because I think it is what he needs.
My assumption was based only partially on how he was dressed and looked, it was mostly based on the fact that he was rummaging through the garbage.
I do think he had money, my doubt was if he would lend me some or not.
I have been told by someone a long time ago that I need to stop trying to be God and know what people need and want and that I should wait for them to ask for my help. I think I found a middle ground by asking if they want help.
If they say no, that is good enough for me.
Thank you for commenting and many blessings to you! 🙂
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dippadedoda said:
Logical and I know your goal is to wright about these very human experiences.
But I ask…. what is a blog if it is not the beginning of the change. And you didn’t address my comment on their mental condition I would love more from you, I feel a connect.
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A Star on the Forehead said:
Understood. He seemed pretty sane to me! My blog is not meant to change the world (I would be doing a very bad job if it were). It is merely an outlet for my feelings and thoughts! If impacts anyone then I am eternally blessed!
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utesmile said:
That is so true, never assume, get the facts, and also never expect but be surprised.
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A Star on the Forehead said:
Hi Ute, Thank you for the great reminder on adjusting my expectations, that is an area that I struggle with often. I want to live on life’s little surprises instead I crash and burn on big expectations. Wishing you a blessed rest of week and weekend! 🙂
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noelleg44 said:
Bless you for being so kind to the homeless. You are truly following in Christ’s footsteps!
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A Star on the Forehead said:
Hi Noelle
Thank you so much! I don’t always succeed but I always try. Have a blessed rest of week and weekend! 🙂
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Dyl said:
The quote at the beginning of your post reminded me of this cute little video. I think you’d like it!
https://www.lds.org/media-library/video/2012-01-004-looking-through-windows?category=mormon-messages-2012&lang=eng
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A Star on the Forehead said:
Oh that was great! Nothing like a video to illustrate a point! Thank you for sharing! Many blessings! 🙂
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boundlessblessingsblog said:
Beautifully written and so inspiring post.👍👍👍👍
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A Star on the Forehead said:
Thank you so much! Blessings! 🙂
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O'Shine ORIGINAL said:
. . . Assumptions is the mother of all f.ck ups.
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A Star on the Forehead said:
Isn’t that the truth!!
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O'Shine ORIGINAL said:
. . . Ask and you shall get. Seek and you shall find.
Lol.
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A Star on the Forehead said:
Good point! First I need to get to the bottom of what I really want, what do I really seek? …it is hard to find something if you don’t know what you are looking for. I got work to do! Thank you and many blessing to you! :-0
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O'Shine ORIGINAL said:
. . . Thumbs up.
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Kavita Chavda said:
Exactly!!
The world needs to learn this. They assume and judge but never care to ask or clarify.
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A Star on the Forehead said:
It happens on a daily basis and I am often guilty of it!! I often need a reminder! Blessings! 🙂
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Kavita Chavda said:
I wish you succeed in your efforts 🙂
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