(pic google images)
Last Friday at Grand Central Station as I am stepping on the escalator, the woman ahead of me stepped aside and asked me if I wanted to go ahead of her.
I replied: No, thank you, that is ok, I am not in a hurry.
Her: I thought I saw you running
Me: I guess I was running, but I don’t even know why
Her: Well, it is because you are a New Yorker!
Me: I guess you are right
I wished her a good day and continued my rush to get to work.
This quick exchange left me with all kinds of thoughts.
1) I thought I didn’t care to belong. When she called me a New Yorker I couldn’t help but feel happy and smile to myself. I felt proud to be called a New Yorker. That happy feeling was really eye opening. Why am I happy to be called a New Yorker? I happen to love New York and I feel lucky and grateful to work there. Everyday as the train makes its way into Manhattan I thank God for the opportunity. But I think the happiness I felt goes a little deeper than that. I guess her comment made me feel I belonged. I thought I didn’t care about being like an average New Yorker. I often prided myself on not trying to fit, not wanting to be a cookie cutter. I am proud of everything that makes me unique, my accent, the color of my skin, my curly hair, my curves, my easy smile, my carefree attitude. But I guess deep down inside I never lost that immigrant’s thirst to fit in.
Homework: Work on those hidden, buried feelings of not belonging.
2) Why run? Why was I running, going very fast when I didn’t need to. I happen to work in a place that has a very laid back attitude. I don’t have a schedule, whenever I get there, I get there, so there is really no reason for me to rush to get there. Why do I do it? Do I only know one speed? the busy New Yorker speed?
I often thought that I ran and did things fast because I didn’t want to waste time and miss anything in life. I want to get everything done and done fast. I can see it clearly now that I am accomplishing the total opposite. I am running through life, instead of living life. I am getting a lot done, I am getting quantity, but am I getting quality?
In the hurry not to miss a thing I am missing everything! I am missing the details! And the beauty of life is made of the little details.
The irony is that I am always the one to point out to everyone that they should live in the moment, in the now. In the meantime I am always living in the next moment.
Homework: Stop and smell the flowers! Make a conscious effort to take smaller steps through life starting with literally taking smaller steps.
2) Is this running another symptom of ADD (Atenttion Deficit Disorder). I am slowly beginning to realize that I probably have ADD/ADHD. I am often mentioned in the same sentence as ADD by people that know me. It is often meant as a joke and to point out another one of my quirks. But I am thinking it is probably not a joking matter.
Homework: Research ADD symptoms and treatments
What a blessing that woman was to me. She may as well have been an angel sent to shake me up gently but deeply.
What about you? Are you running through life too?