Tag Archives: Sherlock Holmes

Not Elementary my dear friends

08 Sunday Nov 2020

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating, Finding Me

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“Never trust to general impressions, my boy, but concentrate yourself upon details.” ― Arthur Conan Doyle

I thought that today I would be telling you all about my date yesterday.  Unfortunately the date never happened!

As I was about to start getting ready for the date I got a phone call from my date.  He said he was calling from the emergency room.  He gave me the hospital name and   emergency room number.  He said he didn’t suppose I wanted our first date to be in the hospital. I said that it was a possibility.

“Evil indeed is the man who has not one woman to mourn him.”― Arthur Conan Doyle

I wouldn’t be opposed to go there to see him, but I know that most hospitals now aren’t accepting visitors because of COVID.  He kept me informed throughout the the evening and night as to what was going on. 

He went to the hospital because of a pain on his leg.  He had just finished physical therapy on it a week ago. I will not mention the nature of his injury at this point.  It is a kind of a wild story, that I rather know the details for sure before I mention anything.

“Life is infinitely stranger than anything which the mind of man could invent.”
― Arthur Conan Doyle

At the same moment my friend A. texted me to wish me luck on the date.  When I mentioned that he had canceled, my friend asked me if I was disappointed.  The weird thing is that I am and I am not. Lately, when it comes to dating I have been totally okay no matter what happens. 

Or perhaps deep down inside I already thought it wouldn’t happen so I was ready for it.

All is exactly as it is supposed to be. Of course I am curious, but I am not letting curiosity get the best of me. Time will tell.  Everything will be revealed in time.

“What one man can invent, another can discover.”― Sir Arthur Conan Doyle 

By 1 am his friend picked him up from the hospital.  Supposedly he was treated for blood clots and sent home.

He has a lot baggage, a lot history, and a lot medical issues from the baggage and history that he brings with him.  Can I handle all of that is one huge question that I have even before we meet? “Can” is not really the right question.  I can handle anything,  the most important question is do I want to?

“As a rule, the more bizarre a thing is the less mysterious it proves to be. It is your commonplace, featureless crimes which are really puzzling, just as a commonplace face is the most difficult to identify.”― Arthur Conan Doyle

In the meantime he is absolutely the most romantic, more interesting guy I have met in a long time or perhaps ever.  His life experience is so different than my own it is both enticing and scary.

This morning he sent me the following:

I Need Love – LL Cool J  (cover by Luke Bloom)

When I’m alone in my room sometimes I stare at the wall
And in the back of my mind I hear my conscience call
Telling me I need a girl who’s as sweet as a dove
For the first time in my life, I see I need love
There I was giggling about the games
That I had played with many hearts and I’m not saying no names
Then the thought occurred, tear drops made my eyes burn
‘Coz I said to myself look what you’ve done to her
I can feel it inside, I can’t explain how it feels
All I know is that I’ll never dish another raw deal

Playing make believe pretending that I’m true
Holding in my laugh as I say that I love you
Saying amor, kissing you on the ear
Whispering I love you and I’ll always be here
Although I often reminisce I can’t believe that I found
A desire for true love floating around
Inside my soul because my soul is cold
And half of me deserves to be this way till I’m old
But the other half needs affection and joy
And the warmth that is created by a girl and a boy

I need love
I need love

I wanna kiss you, hold you never scold you just love you
Suck on you neck, caress you and rub you
Grind moan and never be alone
If you’re not standing next to me you’re on the phone
Can’t you hear it in my voice, I need love bad
I’ve got money but love’s something I’ve never had
I need your ruby red lips sweet face and all
I love you more than a man who’s ten feet tall

I’d watch the sunrise in your eyes
We’re so in love when we hug we become paralyzed
Our bodies explode in ecstasy unreal
You’re as soft as a pillow and I’m as hard as steel
It’s like a dream land, I can’t lie I never been there
Maybe this is an experience that me and you can share
Clean and unsoiled yet sweaty and wet
I swear to you this is something I’ll never forget

I need love
I need love

See what I mean I’ve changed I’m no longer
A play boy on the run I need something that’s stronger
Friendship, trust honor respect admiration
This whole experience has been such a revelation
It’s taught me love and how to be a real man
To always be considerate and do all I can
Protect you you’re my lady and you mean so much
My body tingles all over from the slightest touch of your hand

And understand I’ll be frozen in time
Till we meet face to face and you tell me you’re mine
If I find you girl I swear I’ll be a good man
I’m not gonna leave it in destiny’s hands
I can’t sit and wait for my princess to arrive
I gotta struggle and fight to keep my dream alive
I’ll search the whole world for that special girl
When I finally find you watch our love unfurl

I need love
I need love

Girl, listen to me
When I be sittin’ in my room all alone, staring at the wall
Fantasies, they go through my mind
And I’ve come to realize that I need true love
And if you wanna give it to me girl make yourself seen
I’ll be waiting, I love you

“A man always finds it hard to realize that he may have finally lost a woman’s love, however badly he may have treated her.”― Arthur Conan Doyle

The principal of Exchange and Letting go of the Bad and the Good!

13 Wednesday Aug 2014

Posted by in Daily Life, EX Files, Finding Me

≈ 22 Comments

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I was watching a documentary regarding Sherlock Holmes.   It is amazing to realize how influential a fictional character can be and continues to be.  Sherlock Holmes was the product of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s mind and the principal character in his many famous detective books.  The books are as entertaining now as they were when they were first published.

In the documentary they talked about all the contributions that Sherlock has made to the field of crime scene investigation and forensics science.  They also mention Dr. Edmond Locard (late 1800s), a pioneer in forensic science who was heavily influenced by Sherlock and became known as the Sherlock Holmes of France.  Dr. Locard formulated the Principal of Exchange.

This basic principal says: “Every contact leaves a trace”.  Every perpetrator of a crime will bring something into the crime scene and will, at the same time, take with him something from it, and that both can be used as forensic evidence.

It got me thinking how that principal holds true to every human interaction and not only crime scenes.  We are always exchanging something with our fellow human beings every time we come in contact with each other, conscious or subconsciously.

“If someone comes along and shoots an arrow into your heart, it’s fruitless to stand there and yell at the person. It would be much better to turn your attention to the fact that there’s an arrow in your heart…” ― Pema Chödrön

During my daily interactions, what am I leaving behind and what am I taking with me?  We exchange touches, thoughts, words, expressions, feelings, and we always carry remnants of that with us.  We have lingering thoughts and feelings as a result of those interactions.  Do you realize how much we are affecting and being affected by people long after we parted ways?

I often catch myself mulling over things that were said to me or things that I left unsaid, or perhaps things I said that it was probably better left unsaid.  I catch myself reliving a moment or a feeling, continuing to be hurt or be happy over things in the past.

I strive to add only good things to people’s lives.  I like the idea of leaving people and places better than I found them, but am I really doing that?  Are there people out there angry with me, hurt by me?  What about the ones that have angered and hurt me?  I have said I have forgiven them, but have I really? Or am I still carrying traces of pain and resentment with me?

“The present moment is filled with joy and happiness. If you are attentive, you will see it. ” ― Thích Nhất Hạnh

While I am not in control of what people choose to take from me and from interactions with me, I can help by doing my part of being more aware of my words and actions.  I am always striving to be in the moment, and this is another reason to be more conscious of the present moment.  What mark am I leaving? After all little marks, little moments, translate into lasting impressions.  What am I choosing to leave behind? What am I choosing to take with me? The answer to me is always the same: happiness, joy, positivism.  I want leave people with good thoughts and good feelings about me and I want take with me only good positive thoughts and not any negative energy.

I will try to be the first to say I am sorry.  I will say more thank you and excuse me every chance I get.  I will smile more and hug more.  I will forgive more.  I will let things go more easily.  I will not be ruled by anger and will not overreact.  I will not raise my voice.  When in doubt, I will err on the side of being nice, patient and forgiving.

“Letting go means to come to the realization that some people are a part of your history, but not a part of your destiny.” ― Steve Maraboli

What are the things I have been dragging around from the past?  In regards to the crime scene that was the relationship and breakup with Ex, I am happy to say that I firmly believe that the pain, hurt and resentment are gone.

In the beginning I made an effort to remember bad things so that I would be angry at him and forget him.  Later I held tight to the good memories as a way to validate the fairytale I thought I had lived.   Now I realize I am still holding on to those good memories as a security blanket.  They keep me warm on lonely nights, they are comforting, they bring me happiness, but at the same time they are preventing me from moving on.  Holding on to what I think I had is keeping me from being free to embrace the future.

I didn’t even realize that I was doing that until now, so writing this now makes me feel incredibly free, strong and empowered.  It feels like another page has finally been turned in this book of my life.  I no longer need those memories. So, yes I am actually saying that good memories can be bad if they are holding you back from being 100% in the present.

“I don’t know who my grandfather was; I am much more concerned to know what his grandson will be.” ― Abraham Lincoln

**

I want to recognize the present moment and give it its fully deserved attention and care.  At the same time I don’t want to carry it with me forever to the point of preventing me from embracing my future.

Like the perpetrator of a crime we are all perpetrators of experiences upon other people.  So let’s all be more aware of what we are leaving behind and what we are taking with us.