Life continues to be amazing!  I am just so happy to be alive and to be able to continue to remain upbeat and positive even when facing adversities,  no matter how big or small.  A positive attitude makes all the difference.  Even a forced smile can change a day around.  I fell like welcoming challenges so I can rise upon them (yes I am crazy like that some times)

After Mom left I spent a couple of quiet weeks, now I am back trying to get out of the house.  I am just so content staying in my apartment that sometimes it takes a real effort to get out of the house. I love having all the curtains closed, I love the dark.  Even I find that strange for someone as upbeat as me.  I find safety in the dark.

“Get busy living or get busy dying.” – Shawshank Redemption

In the past several days I have hardly been home though.  I have seen Kinky Boots on Broadway.  I thought the show could have been a little better.  Then again, I have seen a lot shows and have high expectations.  After I that I had dinner at Triomphe, a French restaurant.  The food was great, but not amazing.  I wouldn’t go back based on the food alone.  The staff and service were impeccable, so I would definitely go back based on that.  I think truffle oil is over rated!

I went to Jazz Standards and saw the Steven Kroon Sextet. They were awesome and extremely talented.   Before the jazz I had dinner at Blue Smoke, the BBQ place next door. The ribs were delicious.  I could have the Warm barbecue Potato Chips with blue cheese and bacon dip every single day of my life (and I don’t even care for blue cheese) – they were crazy good.   I was a bit disappointed when the dessert menu came. I noticed that the Sticky Toffee Pudding cake was absent.  The waiter explained that they take it off of the menu for the summer. 🙂 I was so disappointed I decide not to get anything.  Oh well, I guess I have to go back in the winter!

I also had dinner at a few different restaurants in my town.  All different cuisines: Mexican, Peruvian, Italian and Indian.  All awesome and within walking distance from my apartment.  I am a lucky girl!  My outings were a combination of entertaining clients, being with friends, and dates.

“A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.” ― Rita Rudner

There were 3 dates in total. All 3 very different from each other but all great guys.  I didn’t click on a romantic level with any of them.  I wouldn’t mind seeing them again as friends, but nothing else.

At my last date I found out I can be a snob.  My date chose to skip the knife and use his fingers to scoop the food onto the fork.  That annoyed me.  But…I am pmsing big time so every little thing annoys me. I think that if we had clicked perhaps I would have been more forgiving.  Perhaps I should stay away from meeting new people in the middle of PMS.

I felt really bad for being so focused on that and not on the real important things!  I should be looking in the qualities that matter…and I know what they are!  Instead all I can remember about the date was his way of using the utensils! I used this opportunity to look at my own way of eating.  After all it is normally the case that we are guilty of hating in others what we ourselves are guilty of doing.   Truth is I love touching my food and don’t mind picking things up with my fingers (I do use a knife though when necessary though, and don’t push food on the fork with my fingers).

“A judgmental heart keeps listening to the things that annoy.” “― Toba Beta, My Ancestor Was an Ancient Astronaut

Another thing that came to mind is that perhaps I am, once again, trying to sabotage possible relationships.  Am I looking for things wrong so I don’t have to get involved again?  I say I want a relationship, but do I really? Why didn’t we click?  He was the guy that I had the most fun with, did I choose not to click?

I am so comfortable alone. I have been enjoying my freedom so much.  I am also thinking I am going as far as avoiding exercising and I am eating all the wrong stuff so that those pesky 10/15 extra pounds continue to stay around and ward off potential mates.  Who wants to be naked in front of a new guy with extra pounds?? Not me!!

And the learning and growing continues…

Here is to becoming aware of and confronting our actions,  patterns and emotions that may be holding us back!

“I don’t want to be at the mercy of my emotions. I want to use them, to enjoy them, and to dominate them.” ― Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray