Tag Archives: learning to relinquish control

Not bad for an Old dog

01 Wednesday Sep 2021

Posted by in Daily Life, Daily Message, Finding Me

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“If you want to do a few small things right, do them yourself. If you want to do great things and make a big impact, learn to delegate.” ― john c. maxwell

I have always struggled with asking people to do anything for me.  I also struggle with letting go of control.  That combination makes it very hard for me to delegate at work.

As a result I have been overworked for years; even though I do have someone to assist me.

I work for a very small firm, so I wear many hats.  From being the Treasurer to being the Compliance Officer, and everything else in between.  My assistant does the daily contracts.

I was doing way too much.  I realized that she could do more and alleviate some of my burden. Now, slowly, I have been giving her more responsibilities, and making her accountable for some tasks.

I learned that I need to:

  • Give step-by-step instructions
  • Communicate the expected outcome
  • Establish clear and realistic deadlines
  • Have tons of patience

“Focus on what you are good at; delegate all else.” – Steve Jobs

It has been tough.  A lot doesn’t get done as I would like.  Relinquishing control of functions that I always took pride in is difficult.  I have always felt that anything leaving my office is a reflection on me as a professional.

I am finally learning that to delegate is to learn to accept that something will not be done your way, but it will still get done.  So what if an email is not written as perfect as I want?  It is not the end of the world.

At work, I have been guilty of expecting people to take initiative.  I expect people to see that something needs to get done and to step up and do it.  Some people will never do that.  Some people need to be told what to do.

It is okay.  We are all different.  Some people are born to lead and some are born to follow. It doesn’t make one better than the other, but it should serve as a guide to where people should concentrate their efforts.

“The more control, the more that requires control. This is the road to chaos.— PanSpechi aphorism”  ― Frank Herbert, The Dosadi Experiment

In delegating, letting go of control and the need for things to be done my way, I have found some more time in my day.

I have found freedom.  Freedom from the need to be perfect.  Freedom from being in charge of everything.

I am finally learning to work smarter.  I have not only learned to delegate, but I am also learning to say no to additional work.

Who said an old dog can’t learn new tricks?

“I’ve seen too many leaders misunderstand leadership for legacy. Even the most experienced leaders will divide instead of delegate and incite instead of unite to advance hidden personal agendas.” ― Richie Norton

Peace at work

20 Sunday Jan 2019

Posted by in Daily Life, Finding Me

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“I must have a prodigious amount of mind; it takes me as much as a week, sometimes, to make it up!” ― Mark Twain

Perhaps you will recall that I had been thinking of quitting my job. October and November were really tough months dealing with a new employee and feeling I was not getting any support from the other partners.

I decided to take everyone’s advice (thank you all!) and not be rash in my decision.  Even though I still dream of doing something else in the future,  for now I am staying put.

“You are not the victim of the world, but rather the master of your own destiny. It is your choices and decisions that determine your destiny.” ― Roy T. Bennett

A change in attitude is everything.  The woman in question and I butted heads over a specific task that I needed her to do.  To preserve my sanity I delegated the supervision of that function to somebody else.  It was hard delegating something that I created and took pride in doing, but at the end of the day it was one of the best decisions I ever made.  Letting go of having control was hard but it was absolutely the right decision.

It is a fine line between letting go and no longer caring about the job.  I can still care and not be a control freak.

“The most critical time in any battle is not when I’m fatigued, it’s when I no longer care.” ― Craig D. Lounsbrough

At first she would not talk or even look at me.   Still I conducted myself normally and in a friendly manner.  I can’t hold grudges, and even if I could I am still a professional so I would still treat her well.  After I stopped talking to her about work things got much better. 

She is trying hard now to be my friend.  She is trying too hard. She even wants me to go get a massage with her.  I am going along with the conversation but I am not becoming a best friend and doing stuff outside work.

I can appreciate the effort but I am proceeding with caution.  I am not that gullible to think that her efforts are genuine.

“At fifteen life had taught me undeniably that surrender, in its place, was as honorable as resistance, especially if one had no choice.” ― Maya Angelou