Tag Archives: feeling free

Tenant, you go bye bye, so I can fly, fly

05 Saturday Feb 2022

Posted by in Daily Life, Finding Me

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“We tend to overpack. If it does not add value to your life journey, don’t bring it along for the ride.” ― Anthon St. Maarten

The business of being a landlord is great, but not for me.

I had great tenants in the past, that paid on time and never had any complaints. And some not so great. At the moment I have one of those.  He pays late and complains about every little thing, at all hours of day and night.

I am at fault for not setting him straight from the beginning.  I catered to every little thing he wanted, and didn’t make a big deal of the late rent.  All of a sudden, years have gone by and I am feeling like a hostage.

“Don’t plan for the future until you have removed and unpacked the baggage on your back.” ― Charles F Glassman

In 2019 I sold the other rental I had.  I thought I would regret selling it, because I loved the place, but instead I felt lighter.  I no longer dread the calls from the tenant or from the super of that building.

I didn’t want to sell both condos in the same year.  Also, since this is a one bedroom apartment, and by this time my tenant is married with 2 little kids; I thought that he would be moving out sooner, rather then later.  He never did.

In 2020, when I was about to ask him to move out,  there came Covid.  In 2021 it was the same story.

“You wanna fly, you got to give up the shit that weighs you down.”
― Toni Morrison, Song of Solomon

Finally, this January, I gave him notice to move out by April 15th.  He is now complaining that 3 months is not enough time for them to move out.  No matter what, the apartment will go on the market on April 16.

I cannot wait for it to be on the market and and to be sold. It will feel like I have shed another heavy layer.

In a prior post I mentioned, in response to a date’s question, that I wanted a series of homes in different places.  The truth is, I don’t.

Don’t get me wrong, the idea is great; if they all came absolutely maintenance free.  That would be a perfect world, where material possessions didn’t require any looking after.

“No baggage – there was the secret of existence.”
― Robert Louis Stevenson, The Wrecker

In this not-so-perfect world, the more one has, the more it takes to maintain.  It takes more money, more time, more energy, more dealing with painful people, etc.  I don’t want any more of that, than I already have to deal with.

I aim to have less.  Less to worry about.  It helps that I am disliking shopping more and more.  I have to buy a bedroom set and and I keep avoiding dealing with it. I wish I could go without a car also, but it is a necessary evil.

I want to get rid of stuff.  I want to feel lighter and unencumbered.   I want less baggage, less energy spent taking care of maintaining stuff.  I don’t want to be tied to places and things. I don’t want to spend energy on things.

I want to be so light that I can feel like I can fly.

Wishing you a light weekend full of light and blessings!

“Only, in the end, you will realize. Among all the baggage you carried all your life, you didn’t own most of them. And the remaining weren’t as important as you always thought or expected it to be.” – Akshay Vasu, The Musings of Light and Darkness: Collection of words for the wandering souls

 

Back from the cold and into the colder

19 Sunday Mar 2017

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating, Finding Me

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The view from my room at the Beaver Run in Breckenridge, CO

“The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

I have been back from my vacation in Breckenridge, Colorado for one week now, but it feels more like an old memory.  Work, family, life takes over immediately.

Before my trip I was not even sure if I was going to be able to ski due to my issues with back, hip and TOS-neck/shoulder/arm pain.  I am glad to say that I skied and took lessons 4 afternoons.

On the last day the instructor took us on blues and I could feel the fear creeping in.  When that happens I lose my form and everything starts hurting.   So later when he decided to go on harder blues I decided that was enough for me.   I just aspire to be more comfortable on skis and go at my own pace.  I really have no desire to do harder blues and blacks at this point, if that happens it happens.  It is not necessary for me to be enjoy skiing.

I love the thrill, the challenge and the freedom of skiing! So just being there on skis is amazing to me.

While there I met with couple of guys that had contacted me through an ad I placed on Craigslist.  And I must stress here that I am extremely safe when being on Craigslist.  I only communicate with people that I can ascertain that they are who they say they are.

I met 3 guys.  Went to dinner with 2 and they were perfect gentlemen.  The third one we had met in the afternoon and were supposed to go to dinner later but I decided not to go through with it as his intentions seemed very different than mine.

The only minor issue I had on the trip was the altitude sickness.  I never felt 100%.  I had some dizziness, headaches and was short of breath daily.  This will make me stay away from Colorado for awhile.

All in all my trip was a success and I was very happy I went!

***

I was back for 2 days, happy to be in my own bed, then storm Stella was making its way to NY and I had to stay in a hotel in NY City to be close to work for 2 nights.   I wasn’t planning on it so I hadn’t packed any clothes or anything.  The only store open was Duane Read, so I had to make do with what they had to sell.  So for 2 days I were men’s undershirt, men’s sock and underwear (women’s) from Duane Read.  I loved the socks.  From now on I may only buy Duane Read’s men’s socks.

***

Now that I am back I am seeing an Eastern Medicine doctor for my issues.  I have seen him twice. He did acupuncture, cupping, a few chiropractic moves and taught me an exercise to do at home.  I see some improvement.  The back and hip are doing great, the collarbone is still protruding, which I don’t expect to go back in place any time soon, and I still have the feeling of the muscles being pulled down and the numbness of the arm at night. I figure it will take time to be 100% again.

***

My dating life has been very active this past week.  I will write about it on my next post.

Everyone please have a wonderful week ahead.  No matter what life throws at you, smile and keep forgiveness and peace in your heart!

“She was free in her wildness. She was a wanderess, a drop of free water. She belonged to no man and to no city”  – Roman Payne

Park City Mountain here I come!

19 Friday Feb 2016

Posted by in Daily Life, Finding Me, travels

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Park City, Utah

Park City, Utah

“Travel brings power and love back into your life.” – Rumi

Park City it is! I am excited to be going skiing in Utah. I have never been there before and I do want to see every US state, so another one off the list. The hotel and the flights are booked and paid for so there is no changing my mind now.

Now I have to reserve the skis and schedule the lessons. I think I will take a couple of days of lessons and the other 3 days will be on my own. I am going alone, so I think I will play by ear and not plan every single moment.

I have been trying to learn how to ski for a few years now. Three years ago I had an awesome experience in Snowmass, CO. I took group lessons with this female instructor who was phenomenal. I wish I would remember her name. I gained so much confidence with her. I learned different skills; I even did a jump and a half-pipe.  For that moment in time I even lost my fear of speed.  I was on top of the world.

Then 2 years ago I went to Whistler and the mountain kicked my behind. I started on the blues and ended up on the bunny hill. It was very icy so I think that made me nervous and eroded my confidence. Not only that, but I also think that I was too over confident and a bit too conceited.

I have been to Whistler 3 times and even with this bad experience it remains one of my favorite places in the world, and I will definitely return at some point soon.

“Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us, or we find it not.” –Ralph Waldo Emerson

From the bad experience in Whistler I learned:
1) Overconfidence can backfire. I was in a group and the other people were slower and less experienced than I was, so I was having an attitude, not externally, but internally.  In my mind I was the best and they were slowing me down.  That until I panicked and froze on a blue run.  I need to keep my ego in check and be more patient with others and myself.
2) I have to realize that different days and different conditions will bring about different experiences. It was pure ice and freezing in Whistler, so it would certainly be a different experience than fluffy power and warmer temperatures in Colorado. I need to better manage my expectations.  The best is not to have any.
3) I don’t have to let setbacks define me and even stop me. I am going to continue. So I have to re-start, so what? No one is keeping score other than me. And even if I am a beginner forever, who cares? As long I enjoy every moment, being grateful for the opportunity every skiing day is a success. (or any day doing anything)
4) It showed me how much I really love skiing and what I am made of. Even at my worst, even when I felt terrified to leave the bunny slope I decided to continue on.  I decided not to let that one bad experience define me. I am not the failure to ski blues, I am the success of keep going on the greens.  I create my own definition of success.

Why do I so enjoy something that I struggle with so much? Perhaps because of the struggle. Perhaps because it is a challenge and I want to conquer it.

I like challenges.  Several years ago I wanted to learn how to scuba dive but was always terrified of water. I went every night to the YMCA and slowly talked myself into letting go of the borders of the swim pool. Slowly I grew more comfortable in the water. I became certified and and went on a few adventures. I am still not comfortable in the water, but I like that I went ahead and learned enough to be certified and do something I always wanted to try.

But the real answer is that I never feel more free than at the top of a mountain. At that moment there is no work, there is no family, there is no problems or dramas; there is nothing else except getting to the bottom.   Often difficult, sometimes scary and even paralyzing, but totally freeing. My definition of heaven!

“Travel makes one modest. You see what a tiny place you occupy in the world.” – Gustave Flaubert