actions not aligned with words, doing another, moving on, no excuses, no interest, not meant to be, okay not knowing, saying one thing
“Peace is letting it be. Letting life flow, letting emotions flow through you.” ―
J. continues to text me every day but hasn’t mentioned going out again or why he hasn’t asked me out last weekend.
While I no longer think of him romantically I still think he is a good person and have continued replying to his texts.
It was hard to think that it was over before it began. We had seemed to be ideal for each other, we had a lot in common, such as:
- We are both twins
- We are both in the same job for over 18 years
- We are both single with no kids
- We are both very close and help our families
- We are both Seinfeld fans, finding episodes to fit every daily situation
- and the list goes on and on as every day we found a similarity
Also, his twin brother is married to a Brazilian lady, so it seemed perfect.
I remain curious about what happened, but not curious enough to ask… until last night…
Last night, Saturday, after we exchanged several texts throughout the day and evening, on the spur of the moment I wrote: “I can see you lost interest and doesn’t want to meet again. I am not sure what happened, I thought we had a connection. I don’t understand it but I respect it.”
It was a stupid thing to write but I am guessing I wanted to end it on my side and officially say to myself and to him it is done and I am okay. I guess I also wanted him to know that I was no longer expecting or wanting anything.
As soon as I hit send, I felt relieved. I felt as if a chapter had closed and I could move on. I didn’t care about his reply or even if he would reply. My phone buzzed 20 minutes later signaling an incoming message and I didn’t jump at it to read it.
“It is better to offer no excuse than a bad one.” ―
When I eventually looked at it, it read:
“I am sorry you feel that way. Perhaps we can try to plan something for this week? I haven’t lost interest in you.”
I didn’t even know what to reply to that. I just said: ” No that is okay, we can just be texting buddies”.
And I added the cartoon below: (I always added funny images to my texts to him. I thought this one would be fitting)
And I meant what I said, I am no longer interested, no matter what answer he had given me. I harbor no animosity but don’t feel like getting together again. His actions were not compatible with all he had told me on those first 2 dates.
Later on he wrote: “haha. Too boring for me. I want the real thing.”
“Actions defined a man; words were a fart in the wind.” ―
I didn’t reply. He had the real thing and didn’t know what to do with it. I say thanks to my guardian angels as I know that any time something that seems good for me gets removed from my life it is because it wouldn’t be good for me in the long run. I don’t need to know the reasons, I just need to believe that all is as it is supposed to be.
Oh well, next!
“You can spend minutes, hours, days, weeks, or even months over-analyzing a situation; trying to put the pieces together, justifying what could’ve, would’ve happened… or you can just leave the pieces on the floor and move the fuck on.” ―