As I continue to clean up my Drafts Folder, I have to make a decision: delete or publish. This one I am publishing, just because I don’t want to delete it, and I don’t want to just let it sit there.

PLEASE NOTE: This was written in July 3rd, 2012.  It was the first year of this blog.  I was still struggling with the break up that made me start this blog, but I was hopeful.  I am not doing any editing, just publishing as is.

This one I wrote around

Please forgive this old foolish heart

I am not 15 I just play the part

My head spins and my body is in a rush

so don’t mind the writings of a teenager and her first crush

Bloated, sugar crazy, cry baby, PMS raging in full bloom

In the TV Wimbledon in on, Sharapova grunts fill the room

I hear your voice; it calms the fire breathing dragon within me

It waltzes through my ears, dances into my heart – I smile with glee

I float in the air of possibilities; you bring me back with your concerns

I think of sweet soft kisses, you remember the painful burns

I am in love with falling in love, that intoxicating and blinding feeling

You fear I am on the rebound; you don’t want to be left reeling

Can’t make promises, can’t read the future, can only give you now

I will communicate, love and respect.  Honesty is my vow

Your heart and body says yes, your head wants to ban

I mention killing this eternal curiosity and we start to plan

The clock says 12:30 and I am still Cinderella

I want so much to take the next Acella

We are blessed to be able to dream and plan, 2 kids in a candy store

When? Where? Here or there? I just want to see you walk through the door

On the TV there is a Russian or perhaps a German playing  yet another game

My mind swirls with delight as I picture your mouth as it says my name

I have to get up, brush my teeth, take a shower and get ready to bed

But how can I act so normal with all the is going on in my head?

I wake up with a smile on my face

Feeling like a runner on his best race

My jaw hurts, was I smiling the whole night?

Dreaming of you my white knight?

The spinach is slow dancing with the egg in the pan

Is my breakfast aware of my plan?

The super says how are you and I want to spill the beans

I am happy, blessed in love, I can’t help it is in my genes

Grand Central is specially crowded on this day before a holiday

I go deliberately slow, my mind still thinking of yesterday

Young and old carrying bags, some going, some coming back

I am basking in the knowledge that you decided to give it a crack

I cross 39^th Street smiling, people must think I am a looney

I look around and wonder why is everyone so gloomy

You are going all out, daring to dream, willing to risk, I like you taking a stand

I tremble when I think about the first time; the first time you hold my hand

So here I am on 34^th, work beckons, no work actually screams

I will whistle while I work, so happy that I am bursting at the seams

I want to be your cutie, your babe, the one that makes you scream

You will be my lover and friend and the one that makes me dream