“The traveler sees what he sees. The tourist sees what he has come to see.” ― G.K. Chesterton

I have been in Brazil now since May 11th.  I am returning to NY this Saturday, May 28.  I love being in Brazil with my parents, but I miss my routine in the US. 

I came back to Brazil to bring my mother back after her stay in NY, and also to give my brother a vacation from taking care of my parents.  He went to Porto Seguro, Bahia, where it is always sunny and hot. 

In our area, in the Southeast of Brazil, it has been chilly. There is no indoor heating.  I have been trying to talk my parents into getting a heater but it has been tough for them to accept it.  Anything new to my parents, it is a waste of money.  It doesn’t matter if I am the one paying for.

“It is not enough to be busy; so are the ants. The question is: What are we busy about?” ― Henry David Thoreau

While here I am spending most of my time:

• Preparing lunch.  Lunch is a big deal here.  Right at breakfast we talk about what will be on the menu for lunch. There is always rice, beans and a salad.  Then a protein, mostly beef or chicken, and vegetables, anything from zucchini to okra.
• Fixing stuff around the house/buying stuff. I bought new hampers and other accessories for the home, I cemented some loose stones around the the balcony and garage, cleaned closets, etc.
• Having friends over for afternoon coffee.  Not all of them tell us they are coming.  Some just show up.  There is always country cheese, and a combination of breads, cookies, cheese bread, etc on the table.  
• Working remotely.  I have been doing office work a few hours a day.  It is not as productive as when I am in the office, and often frustrating to work on a tiny laptop, but I have been getting stuff done.
• Pilates.  I started on the day arrived and have been going every day for one hour.  The studio is around the corner from my house.  It has been amazing!!  I wish I could do Pilates every day forever.  
• Answering the door.  There are all kinds of people selling all kinds of stuff.    We are customers of some of them for years. We buy everything from produce to water.  There is always some new face selling something.  My parents buy something from everyone to help them out.

I do a lot here, and still doesn’t feel I am doing enough or as much as I should. I arrive full of plans, and want to go home feeling I have accomplished a lot.

Lately when I am in Brazil I mostly stay with my parents.  I want to spend as much time with them as I can while I have them.  But the other evening I decided to meet some girlfriends for a drink.  We had pizza and wine, and it was a lot fun.

Since getting Covid in December I haven’t been myself mentally.  I forget things, I mess up things.  My family noticed and they are urging me to see a doctor.   Just today I went to another town one hour away to deliver some documents.  When I got there, I realized that I had taken the wrong envelope.  This type of situation has been a constant for me, daily. 

I hope this mental fogginess gets better.  The heartburn and anxiety are gone, so I have faith it is a matter of time.   It is just tough right now to be second guessing myself and see myself becoming insecure and unsure.

See you back in NY! 🙂

https://www.instagram.com/blessedwithastar/?hl=en

“One must still have chaos in oneself to be able to give birth to a dancing star.” ― Friedrich Nietzsche