Tags
entitled overgrown baby, manchild, not backing down, the straw that broke the camel's back, venting so I don't explode, wall street
I am shaking. My hands are trembling so bad that I can barely type. And yet I don’t feel like crying…progress!
I am shaking because I just have been through a not so very lady-like screaming match with such mentioned man-child.
It never fails to amaze me the entitled whiny attitude of some of the men I work with. There is one in particular that my assistant and I have nicknamed “only child”. Clearly his parents did everything he wanted when he wanted so now he wants the rest of the world to cater to him also.
Not on my watch!
He doesn’t know how to hear a “No” or to be asked to do something or comply with some rule. I don’t make the rules I am just the enforcer. I do everything here, from Human Resources to Compliance, so I need to interact with the brokers and make sure that they are doing what needs to be done. I am often the bad guy, but I do it well and often work with them on getting things done. I look the other way on minor offenses and give them second and third chances. I often go out of my way for them and that is why I get so annoyed when someone that I keep going out of my way for has the nerve to attack me.
I expect to get what I give, respect and not a condescending tone. I don’t care who you are. I expect not to be told how to do my job when my job is performed beyond reproach, plus I don’t tell them how to broker, even though I would probably do a better job than some here. And I especially expect not to have this firm compared with prior places of employments. If those places were so good why didn’t he stay there? Because we pay a better commission and at the end of the day there is nothing he likes more than money.
I am in the Wall Street/Financial world. Here money rules, and more than once I have been told by the brokers here that their job is to make money as if that is an excuse not to follow rules and regulations and not do what I need them to do.
About once a month for the past 3 years every time I need certain receipts this broker whines about it and starts to tell me that certain receipts shouldn’t be required, and that the distrust level here is too much. Do you think I can use that line with the IRS?
Today again he started giving me the same speech, he raised his voice and upgraded his tone to an even more condescending one if that is at all possible. Again, calmly, I explained that those were the requirements and no matter how many times he questioned them they wouldn’t be changing. Again he used the “distrust” line and started telling what his prior employer use to require. I cut him off and he said: Can you let me speak? I said no. I am done with that subject.
He left my office mad saying how this place is this and this place is that (really meaning me) and went straight to another partner yelling and complaining about me and how I do things. I don’t remember exactly the order and all that was said, but I pretty much went out on the floor after him and said I was not going to be talked to in such tone. I said I was tired and done with him, and that if he wants to get paid he better produce receipts.
He asked if I was really saying I was done with him in front of everyone and on tape (everything that is said on the floor is recorded). I said yes. He said: Don’t speak to me. I said: gladly!
Normally when I get upset with one of the brokers I may regret it later and I will tell them I should have handled differently. Especially since I am one of the partners here I think I should not stoop to their level and not engage in the back and forth shouting. But this time I think he got what he deserved. I only regret not saying more. Enough is enough! I don’t care who he thinks he is and I don’t care how much money he makes.
This was mostly about his tone of voice and attitude and not necessarily about what he actually said today, as I am used to hearing all sorts of things from all brokers. But I will never get used to being talked to as if I am of an inferior kind.
Thanks for letting me vent! I feel better already!
“Create boundaries. Honor your limits. Say no. Take a break. Let go. Stay grounded. Nurture your body. Love your vulnerability. And if all else fails, breathe deeply.” ―
I heard you loud and clear. As i understand it, he wants a separate set of rules for him and a separate set of rules for everyone else.
I recommend the requirements be sent out to everyone again, and state there are no exceptions. Pay for each period will not be processed until all requirements are satisfied and verified, delays of pay caused by slow or unsatisfactory records are not the responsibility of management.
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Most of the brokers don’t want any rules, but he is one of a few that is very obnoxious about it. I am used to these entitled brokers, I am just more sensitive to his condescending tone. And it is not just what happened today, there is a whole series of conversations and actions. It just boiled over today.
I like what you wrote and I will use it, but not only that, this time I will enforce it as in the past I end up giving them all kinds of free passes.
Thank you! Blessings! ♥
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If you are firm and consistent, no one can claim unfairness and after 90 days, it will just be standard, ask the policy to sent out with all partners confirming their support, a short business meeting with minutes to confirm unanimous support would be helpful.
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Meeting? What is that? Just kidding. I once have been that they were a waste of time…but that is another story.
I am now fully resolved to make it understood that policies will be enforced. No exceptions!
Thank you for the advice! 👍🤗
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You are good, to stand by your rules and stand firm. It is always good to share an upset.. it makes you feel better. Good you did that!
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Hi Ute
Thank you for reading. As soon as I wrote I felt better.
I go out of my way to avoid arguments and confrontation but I had enough from that guy.
Many blessings to you! 🙂 ♥
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I’m proud of you for standing up to him! He seems all bluster and entitlement. I’m glad you also have support from those you work with.
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Hi Eli
He had it coming. I was tired of the little barbs, digs and the whole passive aggressive attitude.
I was glad the boss wasn’t here at that moment or things would have gotten worst. My boss takes my side always (we have know each for almost 30 years).
Blessings to you! 🙂 ♥
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Venting is a necessary evil. Glad you got it out.
Any repercussions on either end?
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There are never any repercussions. I learned not to ask the boss to intervene. He goes overboard plus I know how to defend myself.
I am posting later about the way things are now.
Thank you for caring! ❤
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How could I not?
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♥♥♥
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Good for you, I’ve got one here just like it, he has learned not to cross me twice! xx
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I guess we all have one, or more than one, around us.
I am glad that you asserted yourself. Bullies normally back down when confronted.
Wishing you a blessed holiday weekend! 🙂 ♥
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