“Overconfidence precedes carelessness.”
― Toba Beta
(I wrote this on Saturday, August 10)
Instead of being en route to Boston I am sitting here at Penn Station with broken fingernails, scraped and painful knees, a sore wrist and wearing a pair of ripped jeans. That is the result of falling while running to catch a train.
When I fell I had no time to be embarrassed, but the fact that I fell on the sidewalk of a very busy street, right where there was the weekly Farmer’s Market is not lost on me. I quickly gathered all the spilled contents of my bags and took off running even faster. I got to the station with a 1 minute to spare.
The train is late, giving me time to finally assess the damages. Only now I realize my jeans are ripped on the right knee. 2 fingernails on my left hand are broken. My knees are throbbing and when I look through the hole I see blood. I am not even sure what to think or feel. I guess the prevailing feeling is anger at myself. I can’t blame this on an uneven sidewalk or anything else, this is all on me!
Finally after 10 minutes, that seems like 10 hours, the train comes and I jump in. I get settled in the comfortable seat. My entire body is sore, so it feels great to let my body relax in the seat and get ready for the 4 hour trip.
I am not relaxed for long. When the conductor comes and takes a look at my ticket, his face falls. He looks like he is going to start crying. He explains I am on the train to Washington and not to Boston. He cannot understand how I didn’t hear the many announcements he made. I consoled him and said it was not his fault, three or four times. I remember hearing announcements but never dawned on me to think to pay attention to what was being said. Also, the fact that the train was heading South instead of North was another detail I had failed to notice.
The conductor informs me that luckily the train is making a stop at Penn Station in NY City where I can get off and catch another train. After the conductor leaves I sit there thinking of how I need to change my ways. Why must I wait until the last minute to leave the house? Did I really need to vacuum the apartment? Did I need to make my own salad to bring? Why must I come up with 300 things to do and then have to run like a bat out of hell?
I laugh welcoming this little curve ball, realizing there are lessons here! I need to learn them and change my ways otherwise some thing worst than a bruised knee and a ripped pair of jeans is bound to occur.
With all being said about my need to change my ways, my positive self thinks that all this happened for a reason. I was not meant to be in that train and was meant to be sitting at Penn Station right now. I do not know why. I do not need to have a reason, I just need to believe that at this moment I am where I need and was meant to be!
“For myself I am an optimist – it does not seem to be much use to be anything else.”― Winston Churchill
***
After I wrote the above, my train was delayed and eventually canceled. I had paid $60 more to be put on the 12pm Acela Express instead of the regular 1pm train. The Acela kept being pushed back due to mechanicals problems. The girl at the Amtrak counter tells me to wait until 12:45 and if the Acela is not set to leave she will put me on the 1pm. I make sure to ask if there will be still room on that. She said: There is plenty of room. Now, almost 12:45pm the announcement says the Acela has been canceled. I go to the counter, not waiting in line and going straight to the girl from before. When she tried to put me on the 1pm, she says: “oh, it is sold out!”. I think at this point I have tears rolling down my face. She feels my pain and is talking to co-workers and supervisors to see what can be done. All of a sudden after a phone call to someone she says that the Acela is back on.
What Amtrak ended up doing was combining both trains in the 1 pm. There wasn’t enough room, so take a guess who had to ride standing until the next station? At the next station people left and seats became available. That station happened to be my town, where I had started my trip 3 and a half hours early. Yes, it was tempting to just get off the train and go home.
It all seemed like a never ending comedy, where the only not laughing was me!
My tears at the Amtrak counter were not about wasting money and time, or ripping my favorite pair of NYDJ jeans, but about my lack of attention and care. I tend to be an airhead, careless and klutzy. I think I cannot waste a minute, and try to pack as much as I can on my day. All I do is talk about the need to pay more attention to my surroundings and to be in the moment, but no changes have been made. When am I going to start? This quirk of mine used to be cute – on Saturday not so much!
At times I do think I suffer of overconfidence.
At the end of the day, my trip was successful. I went to Boston to help a friend choose a wedding dress. That was accomplished, she has a dress now and she was extremely appreciative of my being there to help her choose it.
Now, for the wedding in September I think I will be driving! 🙂
“How could I have been so ignorant? she thinks. So stupid, so unseeing, so given over to carelessness. But without such ignorance, such carelessness, how could we live? If you knew what was going to happen, if you knew everything that was going to happen next—if you knew in advance the consequences of your own actions—you’d be doomed. You’d be as ruined as God. You’d be a stone. You’d never eat or drink or laugh or get out of bed in the morning. You’d never love anyone, ever again. You’d never dare to.”
― Margaret Atwood
White Pearl said:
Very Well written !
LikeLike
kimberlyharding said:
Loved this story. Especially the part about vacuuming before you left, making your salad, etc. It’s funny how when we look back we can see the pattern that led us to where we are. Great final quote!
LikeLike
A Star on the Forehead said:
Hi Kimberly
The sad part is, that is one pattern I seem unable to change!
A blessed rest of week to you! 🙂
LikeLike
Don't Quote Lily said:
Oh wow! Quite the adventure! I’m glad it worked out in the end. And it’s great that you see the lesson to be learned for everything that happens! Way to look for the positive. 😀 But yes, driving might be easier next time, lol.
LikeLike
A Star on the Forehead said:
Indeed! I see the lessons, but haven’t been able to learn yet. And life, the patient teacher that it is will continue trying to teach me! Many blessings to you!
and I am definitely driving next time, and leaving earlier!
LikeLike
utesmile said:
Not a great journey’ but at least you did find the trip successful. Something has to happen before wee realise to change. It opened your eyes as and I am sure you will not hurry so much but take your time. Don’t do too much, take it easy. All the best, hope your wounds heal fast. Hugs Ute
LikeLike
A Star on the Forehead said:
Hi Ute, I guess all is well that ends well! My sore knees have been a daily reminder of the need to change. I will make a real effort to do so, but I wouldn’t bet on it! 😦
Thank you for the hugs, they are always welcomed! and hugging you back! Blessings! 🙂
LikeLike
words4jp said:
I, too, operate on this same channel. Sometimes I think – why do i do this to myself – i have no one else to blame, not that i should blame anyone else. I think what it comes down to is me telling myself to sllooowww down and prioritize. The dusty floor can always be vacuumed when I return home – it is going no where:)
LikeLike
A Star on the Forehead said:
I wonder the same thing…am I trying to punish myself for something?
The dusty floor is not going anywhere but what if there is an emergency and someone needs to come into my apartment?
I guess I over-think things too! lol
LikeLike
words4jp said:
I get the emergency thing. BUT – chances are, if it is an emergency, i doubt anyone will notice your floor:)
LikeLike
A Star on the Forehead said:
hahaha – Great point!!! that little detail escaped me, all I thought about was someone thinking: how can she live like this??
Thanks for bringing me back to reality!! lol
LikeLike
apuginthekitchen said:
Glad it all worked out in the end but what a trip you had. Thank goodness for you positive attitude!
LikeLike
A Star on the Forehead said:
Thank you! I do thank God everyday for my positive attitude. I don’t dare to think how I would be otherwise.
Many blessings! 🙂
LikeLike
Wilder Man on Rolling Creek said:
WOW – – – Good post, packed in with some great metaphors and redemptive themes: train leaving the station with you on the wrong train; false sense of security; reality-check; disappointment & pain. I admire your humor and resiliency (I would be lacking both if I was in your situation). I found myself sitting with a bleeding knee, torn pants leg, and a mix of sadness and anger. Keep writing, and keep living.
LikeLike
A Star on the Forehead said:
Thank you for seeing all of that in my post! Sometimes I think you can read my mind, you give names to feelings and emotions I wanted to express but couldn’t quite find the right words. I thank God all the time for creating me with extra positivism, resilience and good humor.
Keep on reading and contributing to my self discovery! Many blessings! 🙂
LikeLike
AR Neal said:
Having lived in the Northeast, I cringed as you described your debacle trying to get to the train and the ensuing experiences. *hugs* and I hope your hands and knees are okay!
LikeLike
A Star on the Forehead said:
Thank you for the Hugs. Hands are fine, both knees still sore and bruised – they remind me of the need to change!
Many blessings! 🙂
LikeLike
djdfr said:
I had problems taking the train in the States and decided it is not a reliable means of transportation.
I disagree with the quote at the end because one could know that things will turn out well, that there will be happiness and joy.
LikeLike
A Star on the Forehead said:
Hi, the train is not always reliable, my train to work today was canceled, but if I drive there may be traffic, so there is no winning.
One can always hope and think positive, and act in a way that it helps that all will turn out well, but really the future no one can predict.
Many blessings! 🙂
LikeLike
catterel said:
Different cultures have different attitudes towards time and punctuality. North America and Latin America (like Northern Europe and Southern Europe) view time very differently. Northerners often seem to have inbuilt clocks! Southerners often have no idea of time. See http://library.thinkquest.org/06aug/01010/timeCultures.html / http://www.wikihow.com/Develop-Your-Sense-of-Time
and lots of other studies. I’m British, but timewise I’m a Mediterranean!
LikeLike
A Star on the Forehead said:
Very interesting, I am going to try it! We Brazilians are famous for arriving fashionably late to any event. If you want a Brazilian person to show up at 8 tell them that it starts at 7. To events, and friend’s house I make sure to arrive on time as I hate to wait for others and don’t want others waiting on me.
A Mediterranean clock and way of life sounds divine!
Many blessings! 🙂
LikeLike
the curtain raiser said:
I think we have all been that girl at Penn Station, I know that I too struggle with this at times. Glad you finally achieved your objective. Good luck with the new pair of jeans.
LikeLike
A Star on the Forehead said:
I think you are right, it was just the idea of all happening in the same day that threw me off. My train to work today was canceled so I had to wait 30 minutes for the next one. oh well, that is life!
As far as my jeans I am considering fixing or turning it in shorts. Right now I am looking for the next NYDJ sale.
Many blessings to you! 🙂
LikeLike
David Kanigan said:
Great (painful) story…
LikeLike
A Star on the Forehead said:
Indeed, my still painful knees don’t let me forget! 🙂 blessings
LikeLike
girlseule said:
You poor thing! So relatable, sounds like something I would have done.
LikeLike
A Star on the Forehead said:
Thank you! I am glad I am not alone in this! 🙂
A blessed weekend to you! :0
LikeLike