We had our holiday dinner on Tuesday night.
It was a repeat of the previous years, which means great place, great food and drunken co-workers (and the boss) behaving badly.
We went to Pietro’s Restaurant in Manhattan, NY. It is a first class Italian Restaurant. Every single dish was amazing, and we pretty much had every single item on the menu. (our bill attests to that!!)
There were 14 of us, 12 male and 2 females.
Unfortunately, as it is always the case, the guys leave work at 3:30pm and head to a bar and start drinking. By the time dinner time arrives they are already drunk.
It is sad that, after being in this male dominated industry for over 20 years, I have gotten used to this behavior. I pretty much ignore it and leave the party/dinner when it gets too much or when management throw us out.
These are not happy drunks talking and singing too loud. No, no, no, these are obnoxious, rude, crude, totally unaware of their surroundings kind of drunk.
There were complaints from some of the other tables, but the waiters never said anything to us. My boss goes there all the time. His bills are normally very high and he tips generously, so they were probably more patient than usual.
A very drunken co-worker got up before dinner was over and announced that he was going home, but not before he loudly told 2 co-workers that they didn’t know how to broker (that is our profession), told another 3 that he didn’t like them and told a last one that he will eventually kick his behind (well, he said “ass” but since I am a lady I couldn’t repeat that). The next morning he conveniently didn’t remember any of it!
I was happy to see him go and things calmed down a bit after that, but we were still too loud.
The sober ones left right after dessert while the drunken ones went bar hopping. That is, after 2 of them got into a physical altercation outside the restaurant and had to be restrained by the others, not once but 3 times as they walked one block. I was happy I was not there to witness that. Fights scare me, and in this case I would have been terribly angry too.
I am happy to report that things at work have been peaceful.
I think next year I am putting my foot down: I will not attend dinner if they start drinking ahead of dinner time.
One bright note: I have a huge piece of chocolate cake and tiramisu in my fridge that I brought home from the restaurant. Sugar always brightens my day and my mood!
I hate to sound judgmental but why do grown men, and women for that matter, have to drink until they are no longer in control of their actions? I guess that is the control freak in me asking. Is their lives so bad that they have to escape it?
That is one of the reasons I never got drunk and never smoked anything in my life, I am terrified of losing control! Plus I am already high on life, and if you throw some dancing music in there then that is the icing on the cake! well throw in some cake and the room really starts to turn!!
So if the point of a holiday dinner is to bring employees close together my company is totally missing the point! Yelling, name calling, fighting should not be a part of it! Why can we just be like other companies with some good old fashioned terrible dancing and/or making out with someone you shouldn’t?
I am always uncomfortable at those dinners. Maybe if I were drunk…no then I would just worry about what I said/did for the next year.
LikeLike
Even with all this craziness I normally enjoy these functions. I have been tipsy before and I am normally the life of the party, dancing and flirting, but being drunk would bring a whole host of actions and consequences that I don’t want to see (or have to explain later – lol)
LikeLike
There will always be those that do not (or won’t) know how to behave at places. If you are a control freak, you have your work cut out for you. My opinion there is, learn to lighten up a little. As for the drinking and fighting, you are right, just don’t go. People drink too much for many reasons, most of them to escape from something. I can no longer drink due to medications, and I really don’t miss it much. The few times I had a bit more than I should, I did not care for myself at the time. It is better for me to relax and enjoy and know that, if I get out of control, I will remember the mess so I don’t have to repeat it.
Scott
LikeLike
Hi Scott Yes, at times I could use some lightening up, perhaps that should be a goal for 2013 – lol But still I enjoy not needing alcohol to enjoy a party 🙂 Many blessings! 🙂
LikeLike
Good for you. I don’t need alcohol either.
Scott
LikeLike
Good for us! 🙂
LikeLike
🙂
LikeLike
We just had our staff dinner and I am pleased to say , our lot behaved and was not drunk, but it was a nice sit down meal. I had organised it as I always do. I decided though that I will not do it next year, there is so much involved, asking people if they want to go then get the money in then get the order out of them, and in the end at the dinner some changed their mind, I wans’t happy as they messed the poor waitress about. But as a whole it was an enjoyable evening. Probably we should go out onour own and have a great time! Ute x
LikeLike
Hi Ute I don’t envy you being the organizer. I am always asked to pick the restaurant, but I never do. We are spoiled we get to order everything in the menu and the boss pays for, and I think that is one of the reasons why everyone misbehaves – it is not costing them anything! I am sure by the time next year comes around you will have forgotten and will be organizing everything again – lol Many blessings! 🙂
LikeLike
Weird – it’s almost as if they’ve been given a one-night (I hope that’s all it is) pass to behave badly. This behavior sounds particularly out of control though. I used to work in an insurance office owned by two very staid men. Every other month or so, they’d host a happy hour at the local Holiday Inn. We’d all drink a little too much and dance a whole lot and bond with one another, mostly because we were laughing and making fun of the bosses, who as soon as they hit the bar, started drinking heavily, removing pieces of clothing and generally putting on a bad boy act for us. But they never insulted anyone and we all had a good time. But I remember being amazed at the change in behavior. That part was a little scary. I think your plan for next year is a wise one. Good luck and hope you enjoyed the desserts. They were just.
LikeLike
I agree, to me the change in behavior is scary. It is nice to see change when somebody lets their hair down a little, but when they become another person I really get scared and want to get away as fast as I can.
Unfortunately by the time next year comes around I will be my hopeful self again thinking this time will be different 🙂 Miracles do happen!! lol
Many blessings to you!
LikeLike
Buy a few AA big books to hand out! Take movies to show lowlights at work! Give them field sobriety tests! Pick a great restaurant without a liquor license!!! 🙂
LikeLike
lol I love the idea of picking a restaurant without a liquor license – not sure I can find one in New York City though. But next year I will look for one, and since I am the one that is asked to choose where to go, it sounds like a good prank!
But in all seriousness we do have one person at work that is in need of AA, but any time he is approached he says he doesn’t have a problem. It is impossible to help somebody that doesn’t acknowledge needing help!
Thank you for the clever ideas! 🙂
LikeLike
You’re welcome! I like your dancing idea! The guys who needed to get drunk and fight and badmouth people should learn from you! Denial is a bummer; it can’t be a fun life. But dancing is!!! 🙂
LikeLike
Want take me dancing? I can’t find a man that likes dancing and lives near me – lol
LikeLike
Maybe they’re intimidated by your amazing moves? I need a Wii to teach me to Zumba! 🙂
LikeLike
I guess I need to tone down my moves, my Brazilian hips can be very intimidating indeed! 🙂 I have a feeling you will have no trouble with Zumba. Check out some of the steps on youtube. 🙂
LikeLike
This description describes exactly what happens EVERYTIME I meet up with my old NYC buddies up in Manhatten.
LikeLike
hahaha, so I guess it is a NYC phenomenon!!
LikeLike
its also the only place in the country where my sandwich dinner comes to $200 w/ all the booze. Luckily its only once or twice a year I gotta meet these guys.lol
LikeLike
and I am sure you look forward to it the whole year – lol. the drinks in NY will get you every time. Our dinner bill for 14 people was over 3K!
LikeLike
yep, they know they are royal pain in the butt. Its amazing to me how they haven’t changed one bit from high school, excluding hair and gut.
LikeLike
lol, and I am sure you fit right in!! lol
LikeLike
OUCH!…looks like we are starting 2013 on the right note.lol. You are so so cold Mz.Star.hahaha
LikeLike
hahaha hey I am the sensitive one! You are the one that is supposed to laugh at my jokes (well, attempts)
LikeLike
I’ll be working on my sensitivity training in 2013 🙂
While I have you here like this, I just wanted to thank you soooooo mucho much for your support in 2012. You probably won’t believe it, but you were tied for most comments left on my blog site! Looking back, there were so many good exchanges where your comments were better than the actual blog.lol. You are truly fantastic and I am beyond words for how much I appreciate just knowing you 🙂
Cheers!
LikeLike
I believe that we have already spoken about you taking sensitive training in 2012, so you better get on with that, I don’t want to hear that again in 2014! lol
wow I didn’t realize that I had left that many comments, specially since there was that little incident (of your insensitivity) that made me stay away from your blog 😦
Well thank you so much, I appreciate your words, calling me fantastic just makes me feel fantastic! It has been fun meeting you and I have to say that our exchanges have provided me with valuable insight on the male psyche!
Here is to an even better 2013! 🙂
LikeLike
hahaha. I suppose we had our ‘ups and downs’ in 2012 🙂 But guess what!!!?? 2013 is all about improving over 2012 and making peace 🙂 and I’ve made a pretty big progress with the in-laws. I wonder where I got the inspiration for that.lol. I didn’t get all grumpy and I didn’t look down at my wrist watch when we went to visit them for Christmas. So I suppose my training is going pretty good 🙂
You know I’m a big fan of you and I’m always curious whats going to happen to you next 🙂 You are always welcome to come see me on the other side because I feel my blog will go belly up if you don’t!! 🙂
LikeLike
Relationships and big personalities have its ups and downs, and we are no exception! 🙂 But I agree, we can only improve in 2013!!
How wonderful of you that you were able to start making changes.Who knew old dogs can learn new tricks!! lol 🙂
I am sure you already scored big points with the wife! Also I am sure it made the visit more enjoyable once you made more of an effort – once we change everything else changes.
Thank you for the support! I promise to stop by and give you my 2 cents more often, and keep you up to date on this so called life of mine!! lol
LikeLike
lol, it wasn’t easy not to constantly look down at my watch, but I pulled it off. My wife was happy about that, but of course I made her upset by ruining her famous mashed potato dish 😦
I love all your life stories as a wonderful single person living in NY. Glad we made peace in the new year, its just….nicer that way 🙂
LikeLike
Because it was hard to do, it is even more gratifying (or it should be)
I am curious as to how did you ruin her dish, did you eat the whole thing?
Wait, I am single and living in NY? I better live it up then!! 🙂
We are definitely better as friends than silent foes! 🙂
LikeLike
well…it was Christmas morning and my wife asked me to come help her out in the kitchen with some side dishes. She told me to add some milk and use the handheld mixer(some sort of hand held rotary device) to “mash” the potatoes that was in the pot. I followed her direction but it ended up looking like a paste or a slurry 😦
I meant well but it didn’t turn out the way I was picturing it. I knew I should have stayed in the garage.
LikeLike
Those kitchen devices confuse me too!
Now Chris, just between you and I, are you one of those men that do some chore incorrectly not to be asked again?
Pardon my suspicious mind! 🙂
LikeLike
she was really really upset, because her mashed potato dish is something that is out of this world, it was the main requested dish from most of our guests 😦
You raise an interesting point about chores and not being asked again…hmmm…come to think of it….I haven’t done a single laundry load since…
Enough about me, lets talk about you :)…I’m guessing you are not in NY right now, or getting ready for your tennis lesson. Are you in another country? 🙂
LikeLike
I guess she has learned her lesson (not to trust you with anything important) lol
I am back at work after spending a few days in the Finger Lakes region.
In the winter I focus on skiing. Tennis is my summer sport.
I am hoping to be out of the country if the darn Brazilian Consulate gives me a Brazilian passport.
LikeLike
you know what they say, man’s place is in the garage.lol
I thought you were out of the country because I noticed your time stamp showed 9pm when it was only 3pm’ish here. Are you trying to get dual citizenship with Brazil?
LikeLike
humm, is that where they say a man’s place is? lol
I already have dual citizenship, but they (the Brazilian consulate) love to give me a hard time every time I try to renew it. It seems I am always one document short, and to penalize me they only renew for 1 year! 😦
LikeLike
You must have made a really good impression on them the first time around.lol
You also need to find an “ally” working in the inside of the Brazilian consulate.hahaha
LikeLike
I guess they want to see my face every few months!
An ally would be an option, but the chances of that happening are slim.
I just have to get Brazil and get duplicates of all my documents. (I am sure, though, that they will find fault with that too:(
LikeLike
These experiences sound very frustrating! Drawing the line next year sounds like a great plan.
LikeLike
Hi Jennifer,
That was in 2012, so much has changed since then. Now we don’t even have holiday dinners – it is best that way.
Thank you and blessings!
LikeLike