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Blessed with a Star on the Forehead

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Blessed with a Star on the Forehead

Tag Archives: wall street

All it takes is one overgrown baby to mess up an otherwise great day.

20 Tuesday Aug 2019

Posted by A Star on the Forehead in Daily Life

≈ 15 Comments

Tags

entitled overgrown baby, manchild, not backing down, the straw that broke the camel's back, venting so I don't explode, wall street

I am shaking. My hands are trembling so bad that I can barely type. And yet I don’t feel like crying…progress!

I am shaking because I just have been through a not so very lady-like screaming match with such mentioned man-child.

It never fails to amaze me the entitled whiny attitude of some of the men I work with. There is one in particular that my assistant and I have nicknamed “only child”. Clearly his parents did everything he wanted when he wanted so now he wants the rest of the world to cater to him also.

Not on my watch!

He doesn’t know how to hear a “No” or to be asked to do something or comply with some rule. I don’t make the rules I am just the enforcer. I do everything here, from Human Resources to Compliance, so I need to interact with the brokers and make sure that they are doing what needs to be done. I am often the bad guy, but I do it well and often work with them on getting things done. I look the other way on minor offenses and give them second and third chances. I often go out of my way for them and that is why I get so annoyed when someone that I keep going out of my way for has the nerve to attack me.

I expect to get what I give, respect and not a condescending tone. I don’t care who you are. I expect not to be told how to do my job when my job is performed beyond reproach, plus I don’t tell them how to broker, even though I would probably do a better job than some here. And I especially expect not to have this firm compared with prior places of employments. If those places were so good why didn’t he stay there? Because we pay a better commission and at the end of the day there is nothing he likes more than money.

I am in the Wall Street/Financial world. Here money rules, and more than once I have been told by the brokers here that their job is to make money as if that is an excuse not to follow rules and regulations and not do what I need them to do.

About once a month for the past 3 years every time I need certain receipts this broker whines about it and starts to tell me that certain receipts shouldn’t be required, and that the distrust level here is too much. Do you think I can use that line with the IRS?

Today again he started giving me the same speech, he raised his voice and upgraded his tone to an even more condescending one if that is at all possible. Again, calmly, I explained that those were the requirements and no matter how many times he questioned them they wouldn’t be changing. Again he used the “distrust” line and started telling what his prior employer use to require. I cut him off and he said: Can you let me speak? I said no. I am done with that subject.

He left my office mad saying how this place is this and this place is that (really meaning me) and went straight to another partner yelling and complaining about me and how I do things. I don’t remember exactly the order and all that was said, but I pretty much went out on the floor after him and said I was not going to be talked to in such tone. I said I was tired and done with him, and that if he wants to get paid he better produce receipts.

He asked if I was really saying I was done with him in front of everyone and on tape (everything that is said on the floor is recorded). I said yes. He said: Don’t speak to me. I said: gladly!

Normally when I get upset with one of the brokers I may regret it later and I will tell them I should have handled differently. Especially since I am one of the partners here I think I should not stoop to their level and not engage in the back and forth shouting. But this time I think he got what he deserved. I only regret not saying more.  Enough is enough! I don’t care who he thinks he is and I don’t care how much money he makes.

This was mostly about his tone of voice and attitude and not necessarily about what he actually said today, as I am used to hearing all sorts of things from all brokers.  But I will never get used to being talked to as if I am of an inferior kind.

Thanks for letting me vent!  I feel better already!

“Create boundaries. Honor your limits. Say no. Take a break. Let go. Stay grounded. Nurture your body. Love your vulnerability. And if all else fails, breathe deeply.” ― Aletheia Luna

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I am back and I am trying a new attitude.

08 Saturday Dec 2018

Posted by A Star on the Forehead in Daily Life, Finding Me

≈ 19 Comments

Tags

money hungry ; make peace not war, money slave, to quit or not to quit, unhappily employed, wall street

“If you feel lost, disappointed, hesitant, or weak, return to yourself, to who you are, here and now and when you get there, you will discover yourself, like a lotus flower in full bloom, even in a muddy pond, beautiful and strong.” ― Masaru Emoto

I came back from Brazil a few days ago.  I did have a great time with my family.
All I did was clean and organize, but I happen to love that. To me cleaning and organizing is very cathartic.  I love manual labor. The dirtier and more unorganized something is, the better.

The highlight of my trip was taking stuff to a shelter. I had a SUV completely filled with stuff used and new, as well as groceries and produce.  Helping others is one of best feelings in the world.

At work nothing has changed. I still want to quit but I decided to be smart and not impulsive.  I decided to wait for the right time and make sure that I am not leaving money on the table.  I am developing an exit plan.

The woman at work is leaving me alone.  In fact she doesn’t look at me or acknowledges me which both annoys me and makes me happy.  That makes for a work environment that I don’t want to be a part of.  I guess being ignored is better than false niceties.

The boss hasn’t done what I expected. He actually did nothing.  I feel I didn’t get the respect and support I deserved from him and the other partner.  Since I cannot change the people or the situation at work I am doing my best to change my attitude and my reactions to things, events and situations.  I am talking less and listening more.

And I am praying… praying for guidance and direction.  I am praying to see the signs the Universe is sending me.  I am so grateful and so lucky for so many things, so many blessings.  For having a job, even though I want to quit it.  I am grateful for the ability to dream and plan.  I am grateful for the curves on the road, for the tunnels and for always being able to see the light at the end of it.

“For Equilibrium, a Blessing:
Like the joy of the sea coming home to shore,
May the relief of laughter rinse through your soul.

As the wind loves to call things to dance,
May your gravity by lightened by grace.

Like the dignity of moonlight restoring the earth,
May your thoughts incline with reverence and respect.

As water takes whatever shape it is in,
So free may you be about who you become.

As silence smiles on the other side of what’s said,
May your sense of irony bring perspective.

As time remains free of all that it frames,
May your mind stay clear of all it names.

May your prayer of listening deepen enough
to hear in the depths the laughter of god.” 
― John O’Donohue

 

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