The last few days I have been debating if I should continue blogging or not.

I started blogging to get stuff out of my chest, heart and mind. And it has helped – a lot! Then I received a comment to one of my posts that left me unsettled, sad and deeply hurt.  The impulsive Aries in me just wanted to stop blogging.  The hell with it, I don’t need this aggravation!

But nothing like time to give us clarity! After a couple of days I realized the following:

1) I don’t have as tough a skin as I thought I did.

I thought that after getting through all the hurdles and roadblocks to get to where I am today I was tough and hardened and things such as other’s opinion of me didn’t affect me.  I have had to fight for everything since arriving in the US at 17 years of age.  I heard a lot “no”s and derrogatory comments and somehow turned those in weapons to make me stronger (or so I thought).

Since when did I became so sensitive?  Something else for my list of things to work on.

2) I was taking things personally

One of my favorite books is “The Four Agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz.  In it he says that if we live by 4 agreements we will experience personal freedom and a life infinitely better.  I am not going to discuss all 4, but one of the agreements is:

Don’t Take Anything Personally. Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

It was so good to be reminded that I have been lax in living by the 4 agreements, specially this one.   It is freeing to realize that other’s words and actions are not about me, but based on person’s own problems, misconceptions, agendas, truths, etc.

3) I have a need to please people and want everyone to love and accept me

Why am I wanting/needing other’s approval and acceptance? I know that I cannot ever please everyone, therefore I must continue on my path to speak from the heart and my own truth at that very moment of writing.  If others misunderstand me, I will explain it as many times as necessary, but I will not change my truth to conform to a norm or acceptable standard.  I know who I am and what I am about, if some people get it wrong it is on them not on me.

4) Everyone is entitled to their opinion

I must respect the right of people to have an opinion and voice it.  If I say/write what I want, I must, therefore, be able to hear/read what I don’t want.  And I should be able to take it with class!  After all,  the comment section on my blog says: “Leave a comment”, and not” Leave a good comment”, therefore more than ever all comments are welcomed.

5) I love blogging too much to stop

Blogging has been Godsend to me.  It has given me my own voice back.  It has given me a connection to people, it has given me friendship. It has given me an alternative to lying in bed crying.

So, I decided I am not stopping! I am taking criticism and smiling (perhaps through tears).

I appreciate all comments, good or bad.  The harsh comments are the ones that will make me look inward and question myself.  The harsh comments are the little steps on my stairway to a better person.

ps. thank you sis for saying: Don’t stop it is helping you! and thank you Frank for reminding me to follow my heart!