“When you have butterflies and you’re feeling anxious and you have anxiety or are nervous, that’s when you’re most powerful… A lot of people, instead of honing this power and using it, they allow it to just consume them. There’s another quote that says, ‘A big challenge, a big pressure is like a fire, it’s like a raging fire. Either you can allow this fire to consume you and just take you over completely, or you can gain control of this fire and harness it and you blow it right at your opponent, Dragonball Z style.’ That’s what I’m trying to do, trying to get my emotions under control and use this adrenaline to my advantage.” ― Jon Jones

Saturday Lunch Date

Date: October 13, 2021, 1pm

Location: Sedona Taphouse, Mamaroneck, NY

Date: 60yr old accountant

Family Situation: Single, no kids

Food/Drink: I had salad, fish tacos and sweet potato fries.  He had a chicken Alfredo pasta.  For dessert we shared the brownie with ice cream in the picture below. We both had club soda, and coffee for dessert.

When I got there he was waiting by the door with the beautiful white rose from the picture above.  We hugged hello.  I hug everyone.

He was a nice guy, but that was it.  He was a gentleman, but there were no sparks.  In person he seemed older.  He was also very nervous.  Still we had a good time. 

It seemed we mostly talked about the weather and other mindless topics.  There was anything that stood out in the conversation.

I never pay on first dates, but for some reason I felt like paying half this time, and he was okay with that.

After the date I messaged him and told him that I was open to being friends, but no chance of romance.  He seemed surprised and disappointed.

“Pray don’t talk to me about the weather, Mr. Worthing. Whenever people talk to me about the weather, I always feel quite certain that they mean something else. And that makes me quite nervous.” ― Oscar Wilde

 

Sunday Drink Date

Date: October 14, 2021, 6:30pm

Location: Lilly’s, White Plains, NY

Date: 55 yr old teacher/IT

Family Situation: Divorced, with two grown kids.

Food/Drinks: I had 2 glasses of prosecco and he had 2 glasses of red wine.  I had already had dinner, but we shared a couple of appetizers. The grilled sirloin and the fish tacos were delicious. We also shared a gluten free brownie with ice cream.  Yes, I love fish tacos and brownies! 🙂 

He was already seated when I got there.  I surprised him by entering from the back of the restaurant.  I said something that made him laugh.  I don’t remember what it was.  We hugged hello. 

The conversation and laughter just flowed.  Apparently I can be quite funny!  He laughed so much.  Or perhaps it was nervous laughter. He did say he was nervous about the first date.  He asked a lot questions about myself.   

At the end, he walked me to my car.  There was a funny moment.   I saw he was coming towards my lips and I guess I made a face or balked, because he said: “I am coming in for a kiss, unless you don’t want me to”.  I said: “I was hoping you would”. 

It was a quick kiss while we were both laughing.  The date started and ended in laughter.  It was somewhat different than I expected.  For some reason I was expecting, serious, cerebral conversation, focusing on self growth and spiritual matters.  Instead, it was mostly laid back fun, peppered with some of our life history.

After the date, while texting, we both agreed that we would need a do over on that quick awkward good bye kiss.  He is traveling at this moment, but asked me out for dinner on Saturday.  I happily said yes.  

“I think it’s glorious to be nervous. Being nervous is great! How often do we get nervous on a daily basis? Being slightly nervous means you care, and you’re alive, and you’re taking some kind of risk. Hooray for being nervous! A friend told me to substitute the word ‘excitement’ for ‘nervous’. That way you acknowledge the physical feelings without putting a negative spin on things. So to answer your question, sometimes I still get so excited about ‘Update’ that I want to throw up” – Amy Poehler