“Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.”―
The date that was canceled on June 26, was going to happen on July 3rd. Key word: was. I wanted to keep an open mind and give the guy a chance but in the end my instincts were right. He was not worth the energy.
On the day we were supposed to meet he said he wanted to bring his guitar and serenade me in my apartment after dinner. He is a part time wedding singer. When I said that the idea was nice and we could do it in the future he became a whiny 3 year old going on and on on why we couldn’t do it that night and how he was such a good guy.
Good guys wait, and don’t force situations or get annoyed when they hear a no.
He said I was very distrustful. I said it was not a matter of trust since I don’t even know him. It is a matter of safety. In the end I stopped trying to explain my view and just said: “You don’t have to understand, you have to respect how I feel. Since you can’t, let’s forget about it.”
He called a couple more times trying to convince me to go through with the date and with the guitar playing. Too late, I was done. Trying to convince me of something when my mind is already made up just makes me more annoyed.
In the end I just didn’t answer the phone anymore.
“Respect for ourselves guides our morals; respect for others guides our manners” ―
On Saturday I finally went on my first date since I have been back on Match. While this person didn’t really give me a lot of hope I thought he would be a nice guy and we would have a nice time.
I did have a nice time because I can make the best of almost anything. He was kind and came bearing gifts: Hot sauce and dark chocolate. He owns a food distributor.
He was shorter, fatter and older than it was on his profile. Nothing wrong with short, fat and old. I just have a problem with false advertisement. He was also more unavailable than I expected. This one is my fault. When I looked at his profile again it did say he was separated. I missed that. But even if I had seen that, I never expect someone to be living in the basement of the family home for the past 12 years while fighting over the house.
“Any fool can know. The point is to understand.” –
He has been waiting 12 years for his wife to decide what she wants. Among all that he mentioned, he said he doesn’t own a TV because the wife doesn’t want a TV in the house. No matter how handsome, tall, young, slim and awesome someone is, there is no way that I can respect or be with that complacent and spineless.
Even though I mostly felt sorry for him, I also got a bit annoyed that he expect women to be okay with that situation. He said that the women of Match have a lot of expectations regarding relationships.
I said that I could only speak for myself and my only expectation was that someone looked like his pictures and was available to be in a relationship. At which point he went back to telling me that he has been available for over 12 years and that he will force the wife to sell the house… I don’t think that even he was buying that.
My advice to him, he didn’t ask but I volunteered, was: “get your life untangled first before you add another person to that dynamic.”
He said that the right woman will understand. I am not her! After dinner I wished him luck and we parted as friends.
I also said to him to forget about the house and embrace freedom. At this point he went back to talking about the grand plans he has for his business. It seems he will continue fooling himself.
“There are two questions a man must ask himself: The first is ‘Where am I going?’ and the second is ‘Who will go with me?’
If you ever get these questions in the wrong order you are in trouble.”