Monthly Archives: January 2021

The healthcare industry is making me sick

26 Tuesday Jan 2021

Posted by in Daily Life, Reviews

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Disclaimer: This may sound like I am bashing all doctors.  I am not!  There are plenty of great ones out there.  I am only venting my frustration with some recent experience with my doctors.  

“Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning do to do afterward.” ― Kurt Vonnegut

Is everyone as sick of the healthcare industry as I am ?

Perhaps I just don’t understand how it all works.  I don’t go to the doctor often, but lately every time I go I end up disappointed.  I always feel that I am being overcharged for poor service.  

Months ago I went to an ENT because of vertigo symptoms.  First I was given an hearing test, then I saw the doctor.  When leaving I asked how much I had to pay.  They said my co-pay of $65.00.  I paid and left.  A couple of days later I get a bill for another $65.00.  Apparently there was a co-pay for the hearing test.

Why wasn’t that disclosed at the time?  I am guessing a doctor’s office cannot charge 2 co-pays for the same visit, and that is a way around that.

On that visit most of my symptoms had subsided, so the doctor couldn’t arrive at any conclusion.  He said to stop all medication (I mentioned I had taken allergy and motion sickness pill a day before) and come back in one week.  I asked: “What if I don’t have any symptoms by then, should I still come back?”   

He said: “yes, I still want to see you.”  I didn’t go back.  It didn’t make any sense to me. I felt that all he wanted to do was charge me for another visit.  

“I only care to see doctors when I am in perfect health; then they comfort one, but when one is ill they are most depressing.” ― Oscar Wilde

I am entitled to one free physical a year.  I went to get one on December 14.  Today I got a bill for $45.00.  When I called the office, the person said it is because of the Vitamin D blood work. “Your insurance doesn’t pay for that” – she said.

I called Aetna who said that they had paid for Vitamin D 100%.  The problem was that the doctor put in the wrong code. Instead of putting the code as Annual Physical they coded as a regular visit.

Honest mistake or trying to get away with something?  The doctor’s office is still saying they are right and the billing department has now referred it to the Claims Department to review it.

“Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.”
― Alexander Pope

While on the phone with Aetna I confirmed that they cover 100% of the COVID antibody test.  I needed to get a doctor’s prescription though.

I called my doctor’s office and they said they couldn’t just issue a prescription.  The doctor needed to see me.

What for?  I asked.  I saw him a month ago.  She then offered a virtual visit.  Is it free? I asked.  Of course it is not free.  After inquiring with Billing she came back and said it was around $49.00. 

I refuse to pay $49 to look at the doctor on the screen so he can write me a prescription. 

“It was a little thing, but on top of the other little things, it broke something in me.” ― John Howard Griffin

It all sounds like a big scam to me.  My employer pays almost 1K per month for the insurance for myself.  I rarely use it, specially with $65 each time I go.

I hate the feeling of being taken advantage of.  I hate that all is not explained to the patient at the time of treatment.  I should have been told that the hearing test was an additional co-pay.  I should have been told that asking the doctor to check Vitamin D levels could incur an extra charge.  

It all should be easier than that.  I am now learning to ask the right questions.  The main question: Is this going to cost extra?

This is another wake up call to emphasize the need to take care of my body as best as I can, so that I deal with the medical profession as little as necessary. 

“We’ve established the most enormous medical entity ever conceived… and people are sicker than ever. We cure nothing! We heal nothing!” ― Paddy Chayefsky,  The Hospital

Addicted to Potential

21 Thursday Jan 2021

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating, EX Files, Finding Me

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“What should I possibly have to tell you, oh venerable one? Perhaps that you’re searching far too much? That in all that searching, you don’t find the time for finding?” ― Hermann Hesse

My dating life at the moment is non-existent. I am planning on joining another online dating site, but cannot decide which one.  I have been on Match, e-Harmony and Plenty of Fish before. They were all okay.  I have met jerks, but also met some great men. But, for some reason or another, I remain single and still searching.

My sister has never been on a dating site before and I want her to try.  I am suggesting to her Bumble and Our Time.  I think it would be too weird for us both to be on the same site.  We do look very similar on some pictures.  I need to think of other sites.

Any suggestions on what dating site I should join next? I am thinking either OKCupid or Zoosk.

“If I cease searching, then, woe is me, I am lost. That is how I look at it – keep going, keep going come what may.” ― Vincent van Gogh

It is not like it has been ages since I have been on a dating site either. My membership on Match expired at the beginning of December.

The last date I had was in December. I mentioned it in a post how he was such a nice person, that even though I didn’t think there were sparks I thought it was worth a second date.  We also talked about being friends and he was happy with that.  Then he just disappeared.

Nothing.  Not a word. He even ignored my happy holidays wishes.   I am not crying over his disappearance. I learned a long time ago that in these situations, the sooner one accepts it and moves on the better.  I am human, so I am curious.  Why someone chooses to just disappear?

“Potential,” I said, “doesn’t mean a thing. You’ve got to do it. Almost every baby in a crib has more potential than I have.” ― Charles Bukowski

I find disappearing acts childish and immature.  One minute the guy is all over you professing his love, the next he is gone. Not a word.  Strange, weird, but all too common lately.

When people disappear for no reason, with no explanation, I always thank my guardian angels.  I credit them for removing from my life something that would not be good for me in the long run.  I wholeheartedly believe in that. He is still a nice guy, but for somebody else.

I firmly believe that everything that happens in my life is for the best. Sometimes, it may not seem that way at the moment, but ultimately, I am better off.  So, I embrace it all as a gift from above. Disappearing acts included.

And for the disappearing guy I have a poem:

I have more people to meet, stocks to buy,

so thank you for not wasting my time with a good bye.

“Passion creates, addiction consumes.” ― Gabor Maté

And speaking of stocks to buy, I am staging my own intervention.  I have been very busy at work, but whatever little extra time I have I find myself doing something stock related. It seems that, momentarily, I have traded men for stocks.

Dating sites were a distraction from the busyness of work and the craziness of life.  Now tracking stocks is my distraction of choice.

It has been just 2 months since I have started playing the stock market and I already feel the need to reign in my buying compulsion. I have all kinds of stocks, from big well-known ones to obscure niche ones.  From weed growers to bitcoin mining.  I am going crazy.

“This is how we bring about our own damnation, you know-by ignoring the voice that begs us to stop. To stop while there’s still time.” ― Stephen King

It is a lot like gambling and also like treasure hunting. Can I find the next stock that is going to blow up and make me an overnight millionaire?

Of course not.  I know better.  Still, I play.

My addictive personality is addicted to lure of making it big. In the same way I am addicted to the potential of meeting The One in dating sites.  I am addicted to the potential in things.

Because I am addicted to the potential, I look for the good in everything.  I give people and things extra chances. I overdo it.  I overstay.  I keep the door open.

I want to find the needle in the haystack, the diamond among the sea of cubic zirconia.

Hi, my name is Ana and I am an addict!

“Anything that inspires addiction or obsession – substances, entertainment, beauty, secrecy – is dangerous in that it can lead to isolation, self-absorption, and disconnection, to paralyzed stasis: an immobility that gathers like a force.” ― Greg Carlisle

Don’t blame. It is counter-productive.

13 Wednesday Jan 2021

Posted by in Daily Life, Daily Message, Finding Me

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“As your consciousness, refinement and pureness of heart expands you will become less judgmental, less corrective, less reactive, less black-and-white, less critical, less apt to blame and less tormented by others and their faults and views.” ― Bryant McGill

I love when I notice an improvement in my actions.

There was a big problem with a trade at work today. Somehow, along the way of setting up a new customer, one final step was overlooked. This was not noticed until the trade was closed. After trying to somehow circumvent this problem, we had to give up. The trade had to be broken and handed to a competitor.

The brokers involved were very unhappy. Our firm looked bad, and we lost money. In their conversations with me via instant messaging I noticed that they were hinting at looking for someone to blame (me).

“Blame and praise have no true effects.” ― Marcus Aurelius

I didn’t become defensive. That was a big a-hah! moment to me.

My first instinct was to fix the problem. I proposed alternatives, made phone calls, but in the end nothing could be done, and because time was of the essence it was wiser to let it go.

Often when a mistake happens the first instinct is to try to assign blame. Second, is to become defensive when being blamed.

I don’t want to assign blame and I don’t want to become defensive. 

For the record, I wouldn’t call what happened a mistake. I would call it an oversight. Second, it was not me, or even the broker.  Ultimately the customer is responsible for this last step, but it is up to the broker to remind him.

I always tell my brokers to remind the customer. This time I don’t remember if I did or didn’t. I could look for the record of the conversations, but to me that would be a defensive action, and at this point useless and negative. I didn’t want to waste time with that.

“Blame is the lie by which we convince ourselves that we are victims. It is the lie that robs us of our serenity, our generosity, our confidence, an our delight in life . . . For it is the act of blaming that can’t co-exist with self-responsibility — or with freedom from inner agitation and strained relationships. Abandon the practice of blaming, and we see the fear melt away that we have associated with being honest about ourselves and taking the full measure of responsibility for our emotional and spiritual condition.” ― C. Terry Warner

This one broker in question was already feeling bad. Why would I want to add to that? Why should I compound his pain with blame? He should have crossed his Ts and dotted his Is, but he didn’t.  He knows it. He lost a lot money on that trade.

It is not going to accomplish anything to prove that I am not at fault for something that it is not my function. Even though they originally hinted at blaming the Backoffice/Compliance (me), they knew better and never actually said anything.

In the past, I would have made a point of pointing out exactly who was to blame and what they should have done. I am over that need.  I no longer need to be always right. 

In the past I would want to make sure that others knew that I had done nothing wrong. I take pride in doing a great job and never wanted my image, somehow, tarnished. Now I am confident in the job I do and don’t need to have the others agree with me.  I no longer need others to know I am right. 

Lately, I choose to focus my energy on the lessons in every situation: Could this have been prevented? How? How can we do better next time? Are there any other areas that need to reviewed with the brokers?

I am drafting an email reminding the brokers of all the steps required to set up a customer and who is responsible for each step. I hope this will help everyone be in the same page.

I am feeling light and productive.  Mistakes (or oversights) happen.  How you handle them and move forward is what makes the difference.  

“A great nation is like a great man:
When he makes a mistake, he realizes it.
Having realized it, he admits it.
Having admitted it, he corrects it.
He considers those who point out his faults
as his most benevolent teachers.
He thinks of his enemy
as the shadow that he himself casts.”
― Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

More than a Flower

07 Thursday Jan 2021

Posted by in Daily Life, Daily Message, Mosaic and other crafts, Volunteering

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Before anything, I want to remark how sad it is to watch what happened at the Capitol yesterday.  I cried.  I expect scenes such as those to happen in third world countries, such as my homeland of Brazil.  When it is right here in the US, it is shocking.  I continue to pray for peace and order.  I continue to look for the miracles that are sure to come after so much tragedy.

“I am realistic – I expect miracles.” ― Wayne Dyer

I miss you guys. I feel I have been away for months and it has only been one week 🙂 It is my busiest time of the year at work, with audits and other deadlines. 

On the personal side I am helping a friend with her laundry.  She has more laundry every 2 weeks than my sister and I both combined have for 2 months. And what is up with washing heavy winter sweaters after each single use?  Do people normally do that?  

My washing machine has started to make a funny noise.  I guess it has never seen that much action.  Perhaps I don’t wash my clothes enough.  🙂  ok, ok, I am going to listen to Mother Teresa and stop complaining.

“Give, but give until it hurts.” ― Mother Teresa

The mosaic studio is still not open.  I have not managed to do any mosaics at home.  I am reading through some mosaic books I have, including one I got for Christmas, and coming up with ideas and be ready when it reopens.

The piece below was done at the studio about a month ago.  A friend was throwing out 3 old paintings and offered them to me to use the frames.  I thought they would be perfect to make mosaic on.  I used one for my mother’s gift. The second is below and the third one is still in my mind.

This piece was not going to be a flower.  When I was about to start, I took a second look at the fading flower that was already there and decided to use it as a starting point.  

I am very happy with the result.

“To be creative means to be in love with life. You can be creative only if you love life enough that you want to enhance its beauty, you want to bring a little more music to it, a little more poetry to it, a little more dance to it.” ― Osho

“Dwell on the beauty of life. Watch the stars, and see yourself running with them.” ― Marcus Aurelius

“Clouds come floating into my life, no longer to carry rain or usher storm, but to add color to my sunset sky.” ― Rabindranath Tagore

“In the silence of love
you will find the spark of life”
― Rumi