“People do not seem to realise that their opinion of the world is also a confession of their character.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson

The other day I told one of my partners here at work that I am dating a cop and that he is about to retire. He replied: “They have a good pension but that is not a lot. You deserve someone making 7 figures or high 6 figures.  Someone of your stature deserves more.”

My stature? What stature? I just laughed it off, but he was not joking.   This partner knows how hard I worked to be where I am, so I know he has my best interest at heart.  Still it was a surprising comment to me.

That same day a friend texted me to share some news.  Since he lives around the area that M. lives at I mentioned that I may be in his area soon.  He replied with the following:

High on the totem pole?  Should I be offended or take it as a compliment.  This person based his comment on just the area M lives at.  I mentioned nothing else about him.

I don’t get it. I am as simple and plain as they come.  From the car I drive to the clothes I wear I am simple.  I could drive a fancy car and wear name brands but I don’t.  Those things are not important to me. They never were.

“Anything that just costs money is cheap.” ― John Steinbeck

I do not, however, have a problem or pass judgment on what people drive or wear.  People should buy, if they can afford, whatever makes them happy.  I do hope that people don’t rely on material things to feel valued.

Do I think I deserve better or more?  Yes and No!  I deserve the world, but I don’t think of people in materialistic terms.  Material stuff I can get on my own.  From a man I want and deserve honesty, respect, attention and love.  I will not settle for less.

Above all I want someone with a kind, generous heart.

I definitely don’t want a man I will have to support.  I would end up not respecting him.  Other than that I don’t care what a person does or how much money he makes.  I don’t mind if a man makes less money than I do.

“Look beneath the surface; let not the several quality of a thing nor its worth escape thee.” –  Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

Actually I digress, I never wanted a cop or a military person.  I always thought that they come with a lot of baggage.  They see a lot, they deal with a lot.  It is impossible not to bring some of those things home.  Plus they carry guns.  I am terrified of guns.  I am being open minded about all of that for the time being, specially because he is retiring in 1 month.

Shouldn’t integrity, honesty, and most important, the ability to make me smile and laugh weigh more than how much money they make or what area they live at?

oh, and let’s not forget, chemistry!! That so elusive feeling that feels so good when is present.

“Try not to become a man of success. Rather become a man of value.”― Albert Einstein

I would hate to be judged over material things, but I guess we all are judged over one thing or another. And I am in NY of all places and in an industry where money and status are king.

While I don’t care about people’s opinions of who I should date or how I should conduct my life these 2 comments surprised me and shed some light on what people are really thinking.

I take this opportunity to look inward and reaffirm what is really important to me.  What do I want?  What makes me happy? At the end of the day not one person is 100% as I would want in my dreams.  What can I deal with and what I rather not.

I have dated guys with a lot money before.  While it was fun being wined and dined and being offered trips to Europe (I never accepted) the lack of chemistry was most often the reason why it didn’t work with them.

The chemistry with M is awesome.  I don’t want to stop kissing him and for now that is all I want. It has been a long time so I am going to just enjoy it.

One kiss at a time, one day at a time, so we can both get to know if we add value to each other’s lives in the long run or we are just a winter fling.

“I want love, passion, honesty, and companionship… sex that drives me crazy and conversation that drives me sane.” – Steve Maraboli

Stay tuned: the next post is about spending last weekend at his house.  Yes I did!