I miss speaking to MF every night.  All of sudden there is nobody to listen to all the things that happens on my day to day.  I could call and talk to him but I don’t want to give him the impression that we have a future as a couple and I am afraid he would see things that way.   We have exchanged a couple of texts but that was it.  I guess my idea that we could be friends was completely flawed.   Since I am not talking to him I am going to share with you some of my week.

• On Monday night I helped my tenant pack a few things.  I decided to help her to try to get her to move sooner rather than later.  She is always sick so I feel bad for her.  I realized she is a hoarder and has a problem letting go of things.  All we did was move things around.  I may have to be more forceful and give her a deadline.
• On Tuesday night I wasn’t able to fall asleep until after 2am.  My hip was hurting so bad I couldn’t find a good position to sleep.  I think I overdid a little helping my tenant.   I need to do my stretches every morning and eventually go see a doctor again.  
• On Wednesday night I dropped a 5 pound dumbbell on my bare foot.  I had to take a cab to get from the train station to work because walking with shoes on was too painful.  I dropped the dumbbell because I was not paying attention when I went to place them on a counter.  I need to pay attention to the task at hand.  I need to be in the moment. 
• On Thursday I went to a workshop on new NFA (National Futures Association) regulations.  I learned a lot and by the end of Friday I had already drafted the required program for the new regulations that goes into affect on March 1st.   I can get a lot accomplished when I put my mind to it and don’t let things distract me. 
• On Friday night I started working on a few mosaic projects. I am not very creative, but at the moment I have tons of ideas, and I am happy to get them out of my mind and in action.   Progress feels good.

My 50th birthday is coming up on March 28. (so not ready for it!!)  My twin sister and I were going to take a trip in February because that is when she can take time off.  But all of sudden February was here and nothing was decided, so this week she has gone to a resort in the north of Brazil.   We decided to postpone the trip towards the middle of the year when she will get her green card and be able to come to the USA.  We will go from here meeting somewhere.  Also it will be warmer in Europe as her dream is to go to Scotland.

I decided not to go to Brazil for my birthday.  Friends would want to make a big deal and have a big party.  I don’t care for big celebrations, then my mother would be stressed and overworked, because of course no matter how much we would tell her she didn’t need to do anything  she would go insane with the preparations.

Instead I want to go on a skiing vacation.   Once again I will have to go alone.  A bit sad since MF had all kinds of plans for Valentines Day and for my birthday, but oh well, better alone than to waste somebody’s time, energy and heart.