Tag Archives: let go and let God

Stop Worrying

12 Friday Apr 2024

Posted by in Daily Life, Daily Message

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“Worry pretends to be necessary, but serves no useful purpose.” ― Eckhart Tolle

Stop worrying and struggling.  Do the best you can with the tools you have.

Worrying about things that you have no control of,  just makes you anxious and depressed.

Worrying robs you of the joy of the present moment. 

At times I have spent too much time worrying, only for the problem to resolve itself later, without my interference.

Do the best you can and what you can, and then let God/Superior Power/Universe/Nature (whatever you believe in) take care of the rest.

“Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin.” – Mother Theresa

 

Trying to be blessed, not stressed

05 Monday Mar 2018

Posted by in Daily Life, Finding Me

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“If you really want to escape the things that harass you, what you’re needing is not to be in a different place but to be a different person.” – Seneca

I miss being here. I miss writing. I miss reading and replying to comments. It feels like I have been away for ages. It has been only one week. 🙂

My absence is due to too much work, little time, not feeling well and lacking the energy.

It has been a crazy stressful past several days. It started with barely being able to lift my head from the pillow on Monday morning. I had been dizzy on Saturday and Sunday mornings but on Monday it was really bad. Don’t judge me but I still went to work. I had to schedule the payment of bonuses to the brokers. There would have been a riot if I didn’t show up.

After I managed to get up and get to work, I declared I was there to only do this one task and go home. Result: I ended up staying even later than usual.

The brokers and management hadn’t yet finalized their numbers. It took them hours to agree on the final numbers, after weeks of negotiations. I also had to juggle the money from different accounts to cover everything. Then the brokers have different requests on tax and deductions on the bonus.

On top of that I have other stuff looming over my head. I have an audit I filed that will have to be amended. Any amendment is sure to draw the eyes of the regulators. Then I have another audit around the corner that I have to compile numbers for. I have to decide on a new health insurance for the company plus work on setting up a HSA plan. No one will be happy with the new Health insurance choices.

“You must learn to let go. Release the stress. You were never in control anyway.” – Steve Maraboli

Some customers are months behind on their payment so I have to chase them around. Some are in Singapore, India, Portugal, etc – it would be exciting if I could go see them in person. Then there is the regular stuff, regular payroll, check and pay expense reports, check and pay vendor’s invoices, etc

Stress doesn’t appropriately cover what I go through at work. Don’t take all this whining as a complaint. I am just giving you a picture of the many hats I wear. One way or another I get it all done.

Then there is the stress of worrying about my elderly parents in Brazil, and wanting them to be okay. Also having my sister here and trying to guide her on getting a job and starting her life here.

Getting back to what ails me. My sister suspects I have Vertigo ( Labyrithintis) as she knows some people that had it and the symptoms seemed similar. When I described the symptoms to my Naturopathic doctor friend he thought it was Adrenal Fatigue Syndrome, a condition that most regular medical doctors don’t think it exists. He says that given my age (menopause around the corner), stress and the symptoms I described he thinks it is a classic case of it. I have taken a saliva test that will determine what is going on. It will take one week for the results to come in.

Until then I wait.  I know the stress is over my need to control things.  I need to have everything performing optimally.  I need to have my family happy.  I need to be perfect at work.  When things are not as such I stress.  I didn’t think I was stressed.  I just thought I was just a tad tired.

Time to listen to my body. Time to think about leading a less stressed, stressful life.  Time to make changes.

Still feeling blessed – always!

“We must have a pie. Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie.” – David Mamet

and the dating continues

05 Sunday Nov 2017

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating, Finding Me

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“Life is to be lived, not controlled; and humanity is won by continuing to play in face of certain defeat.” – Ralph Ellison

I have been trying to meditate.  I am looking for some inner quiet and peace, and perhaps answers that one can only hear in absolute silence.  Lately I have been having trouble dealing with things I cannot control.  I know better.  I know I should let go and let God.  I know I need to have faith that everything will work out in the end.

It is a combination of factors that has me this anxious, mostly family and work issues.   Since I cannot do anything to change the situation I need to learn not to let it take my peace.

I fail miserably at trying to meditate, at trying to keep thoughts out of my mind, but this time I will not give up as in the past.  Practice makes it perfect so I will keep trying, starting slowly.

“How would your life be different if…You stopped worrying about things you can’t control and started focusing on the things you can? Let today be the day…You free yourself from fruitless worry, seize the day and take effective action on things you can change.” – Steve Maraboli

***

Since I started online dating again I have gone on 2 dates:

The first was with a 57 year businessman.  We had dinner at a Brazilian restaurant.  It went well, but we still haven’t found a time for the second date. When he was free I had guests in town.  Then when I am free he is traveling for business.  It makes me wonder if it is so hard to schedule a second date what will happen if we start a relationship?

He was back from traveling today but said he was going to dinner with his cousin that he doesn’t see often.  For some reason it didn’t ring true to me and if made me question how much he really wants to go on a second date.

Then all of a sudden tonight at 6 pm he texted to say hello and see what I was doing.  He said his cousin took ill and now he felt foolish about not asking me out.  I jokingly said: oh she canceled.  He laughed.  I believe he had a date and she canceled.

“It is better to offer no excuse than a bad one.” -― George Washington

I don’t mind if he had a date.  I am having other dates. Why make up anything up?  Just say: I am busy.  At the end of the day I am not sure if he was lying or not.  But my gut tells me he was.

Also he said he was eager to see me again.  Still he can’t find the time. For a second I saw potential in him.  He was kind, funny and a gentleman. Now I am  not sure,  He wants to go out this coming week, but we have nothing scheduled.  I am not as excited as before.  If too much time passes after the first date my interest and excitement level goes down.

“I’m not upset that you lied to me, I’m upset that from now on I can’t believe you.” – Friedrich Nietzche

***

The other date I had was with a 50 year old author and public speaker.  I am calling him that since I am not sure what to call him.  His ideas and teachings are great and some of same things I believe in. He is a dreamer and wants to help people. I applaud his passion.

We sat at a coffee shop but he never asked if I wanted anything to eat or drink.  He said he was more nervous about meeting me than speaking in front of hundreds of people.

He seemed smart and ambitious, but I think he has a long road ahead of him to get all his plans in motion.  What gave me pause about him was the fact that finding a partner is part of his business plan.

He thinks that without a partner to bounce ideas off and for support (emotional and I have a feeling at times financial) he cannot make his business succeed. He has to move from where he is eventually, but wants to find a girlfriend first and move near her.

He said he was very interested in me.  For the second date he wanted to come to my town to check it out.  It would be too much pressure for me to start going out with someone and the person already move near me. It would be forcing things instead of letting things flow naturally as they may or may not.

I am supposed to let him when I am free for the second date.  But I will talk to him about being friends only since there was no romantic chemistry for me.

“…If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours…If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them.” – Henry David Thoreau