Tag Archives: foot and back massages

Some tennis watching and a back massage

08 Wednesday Sep 2021

Posted by in Daily Life, Daily Message, Dating, Finding Me

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“Everyone has the fire, but the champions know when to ignite the spark.” ― Amit Ray, Enlightenment Step by Step

This Labor Day weekend, similar to prior years, except 2020, I went to the US Open on Saturday. 

I was pleasantly surprised that there were almost no lines to get in.  They checked the vaccination card and tickets very quickly.  There were some people with masks but the majority had no masks.  It felt freeing.

This time I wasn’t too excited to attend, as my two favorite players weren’t there:  Rafael Nadal and Serena Williams.  I need to find new favorites.

I do have a Brazilian player left in tournament, Bruno Soares.  He is in the Men’s Doubles semi-final, playing with Jamie Murray (Andy’s older brother).  I am not sure who they are playing against, but I will be watching that match.  

The weather was perfect.  While there, we had  a great lunch at The Mojito Restaurant.  They make the best yucca fries.  Inside the stadium we had Honey Deuce, the official drink of the US Open while watching the Novak Djokovic/Kei Nishikori match. Novak won. I was not happy.  Still it was a great match.

“Life has but one true charm: the charm of the game. But what if we’re indifferent to whether we win or lose?” ― Charles Baudelaire

One new and interesting thing is that there are no line judges anymore.  There is the chair umpire only. The line calls are made with the Hawk-Eye electronic line-calling.  The electronic voice that yells “OUT”, can be female or male, depending on what the other courts that are near are using, so not to confuse the players. 

It makes a big difference.  There are no longer challenges, which eliminates a lot of the drama.  I used to enjoy some of the drama though 🙂

On Sunday I went to Wegmans grocery store for the first time.  It is new in my area, and some people were raving about it.  It was a good store, but I don’t get excited about grocery stores. After lunch I got a back massage.

While I was getting a massage, I was just trying to relax and think of nothing.  It is an impossibility for me. While fighting random thoughts, the Jewish Holiday, Rosh Hashanah came to mind.  I thought to myself that I should text B. a Happy New Year.

B., is a woman that was very helpful to me in my first years in the U.S. We helped each other, but her coming into my life helped me achieve everything I have today.  

Last time I texted her she didn’t reply.  I don’t need a reply to text someone. I made a point of holding on to that thought to text her when my massage was over. 

After the 1 hour massage, with thoughts of what is for dinner, and no longer thinking of B.  I picked up my phone and I am shocked to see I have a missed call from her.  At the moment I was thinking about her, she was calling me.  I love the little  synchronicities of the Universe.  The Universe is always listening.

I called her back. She apologized for not texting back. We talked for a little bit.  Everything felt right in the world.

“Our intentions attract the elements and forces, the events, the situations, the circumstances, and the relationships necessary to fulfill the intended outcome.We don’t need to become involved in the details—in fact, trying too hard may backfire.It requires attention, and it also requires detachment. Once you have created the intention mindfully, you must be able to detach from the outcome, and let the universe handle the details of fulfilment.”
― Deepak Chopra, Synchrodestiny: Harnessing the Infinite Power of Coincidence to Create Miracles

On Monday I had dinner with someone that I have been speaking online for the past 6 years, and had never met before.  I am going to write about it next. Was it a good or bad meeting? Stay tuned to find out.

 

Unsolicited Help Anyone?

02 Tuesday Feb 2021

Posted by in Daily Life, Daily Message

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“Until we can receive with an open heart, we’re never really giving with an open heart. When we attach judgment to receiving help, we knowingly or unknowingly attach judgment to giving help.” ― Brené Brown

Last week I went to get a foot massage.  This place in my city had been closed for a long time because of the pandemic.  Now that they have reopened, my sister and I try to go there as much as we can.  We feel bad because we think they are struggling.

I asked the owner, a Chinese man name Tony, if he has applied for government assistance, EIDL, PPP loans, etc.  He doesn’t speak much English.  I don’t speak Chinese.  So, it was very tough understanding each other.

His wife got a translator app on her phone.  It helped some.  I tried to explain to them that there are different types of assistance available.  We kept going around in circles.  They remained confused.  I grew frustrated.

I then remembered I read about a volunteer program that RXR Realty set up in New Rochelle.  It is aimed at helping small businesses with navigating the loan applications, etc.  I found the site online and filled out an application with them. I had to put my email down because Tony doesn’t have an email address, but I put his cell phone as contact.  I requested a Chinese speaking volunteer.

This going back and forth with this translator app and then completing this application took almost an hour.  The calmness of the massage that I had just gotten was long gone by then.

A few days later I received an email from RXR asking me to confirm that I no longer needed assistance. They said Tony was contacted and said he didn’t need help.

I was surprised and requested that the person that had spoken to him call me.   Joan, the very nice volunteer called me.  She mentioned that Tony just said he didn’t need anything.  She spoke Chinese, so they understood each other clearly.

I said to her that he was probably just confused. He was probably getting a lot calls, as I am, with offers for PPP funding. She offered to call him again and this time explain it all. She said she would call in the next couple of days because she was busy the rest of the day.

“How would your life be different if…You stopped making negative judgmental assumptions about people you encounter? Let today be the day…You look for the good in everyone you meet and respect their journey.” ― Steve Maraboli

The next day I stopped at the store to let him know that she was going to call.  He said, with the help of the translator app, that she had already called twice the day before.  He said that he told her really didn’t need help.

I looked at him surprised.  He explained that his accountant said he should not apply for anything.  I kept trying to understand, and also to make sure he understood that there was help available. I was trying to explain that it is a loan, but that he wouldn’t have to pay back if the money was used to pay for business expenses.

At one point Tony reached into a bag behind the counter and shoved a bunch of Toblerone chocolates in my hands.  I got the message!  It was his way of saying thank you and shutting me up.  It worked.  Chocolate always works with me. 😊

Perhaps his accountant isn’t giving him sound advice. Perhaps his business practices are not on the up and up.  Perhaps he doesn’t really need any help.  Whatever it is, it is none of my business

My take away from this episode is:

  • I don’t know people’s circumstances. I don’t know if they NEED or WANT help. I can’t force people to accept help.
  • I am embarrassed for getting frustrated over the language barrier issues.  I once barely spoke any English. I am forever grateful for the people that showed me patience and understanding.  It is good to have reminders of where I came from and realize that I am not that different from Tony and his wife. I am them and they are me.
  • I need to continue to work on being compassionate, patient, and non-judgmental with others. I don’t know everything.  I actually know nothing.
  • Be and let it be!

“7 Effective Ways to Make Others Feel Important

1. Use their name.
2. Express sincere gratitude.
3. Do more listening than talking.
4. Talk more about them than about you.
5. Be authentically interested.
6. Be sincere in your praise.
7. Show you care.”
― Roy T. Bennett