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dates and more dates, first dates, no sparks no second date, too different to work, too settled in life
“But you cant shut everyone out. I mean you have to have someone to love. . .someone to hold on to. . . someone–” ― Requiem for a Dream
I have been canceling a lot dates lately. I get excited about a person and schedule a date. Immediately after, I start thinking of all the reasons why it will not work out. Then I cancel it. Why spend the energy and waste the perfume? And of course, I don’t want to waste anybody’s time either.
I am not being pessimistic. I am just being being practical. And perhaps a bit lazy and disillusioned.
Still, I managed to go on a few dates the last couple of weeks.
Date 1: We went to La Herradura, right in my neighborhood. It is a Mexican place, and the food is always great there. My date had mole chicken and a beer. I often have the same thing there: quesadillas and a passion fruit mojito. We both enjoyed our choices.
He is a 65 year old retired insurance agent. We talked a lot about his grown kids and grandkids. We also talked about his move to Florida at the end of the year. He is very family oriented and very happy about being retired.
I am all about family also, but there is nothing sexy and romantic about talking about grandchildren and retiring in Florida. Perhaps because I don’t have kids and grandkids. Perhaps because retiring in Florida was never my dream.
He seems to have his life already planned and I would have to come in and make myself fit in. I hate to say it, but in that sense he felt too old for me.
“If you still think you’re a young pup then you are, no matter what the calendar says” ― Marley and Me: Life and Love With the World’s Worst Dog
Date 2: We went to Red Plum in Mamaroneck, NY. It was my first time there. My date had sushi and a beer. I don’t eat sushi. I had a fried rice and crispy eggplant. I really enjoyed my drink that was made with passion fruit, cranberry juice, vodka and some other stuff.
He is a 52 year old professional musician with a day job. He plays some theatre and concert jobs. He was handsome and pleasant. We had some things in common, but I don’t think there was enough in common.
He doesn’t own a TV and spends his evening studying different subjects, specially languages. I admire that discipline, but it is not me. I want to watch TV, learn languages, exercise, etc. I want it all, and he is more focused on a couple of things. I think we would annoy each other in the long run.
I should be meeting 2 guys this week. If I don’t cancel…
“Can I do it? I’d rather not try and fail.” “That’s stupid talk, Maya. Every try will not succeed. But if you’re going to live, live at all, your business is trying. And if you fail once, so what? Old folks say, Every shuteye ain’t sleep and every goodbye ain’t gone. You fail, you get up and try again.” ― The Heart of a Woman
Notes said:
Maya Angelou had so many ways to fall in life. She grew into awesome.
Perfect almost never really is.
Let yourself fall a little…
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A Star on the Forehead said:
So, so right! Maya Angelou is the best, so wise!
Thank you and blessings! ♥♥
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Writing to Freedom said:
Kudos Ana on getting out, meeting guys, and clarifying what you want. It would help me to do the same.
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A Star on the Forehead said:
Hi Brad,
Do it! Get out of your comfort zone 🙂
There are good people out there. I am not going on too many dates, but I am not giving up either.
Thank you and blessings to you! ♥♥
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Writing to Freedom said:
Thanks Ana. I appreciate the encouragement!
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A Star on the Forehead said:
Any time, and always! ♥♥
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cattalespress said:
Maybe lackluster for you, but I love hearing about these dates! You always provide such great insights! And, yes, #1 does sound too “old” for you! LOL! 🤍
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A Star on the Forehead said:
Thank you Stacy! I am glad I am not boring everyone to tears 🙂
Blessings to you! ♥♥
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Yernasia Quorelios said:
💜 I Love Me; that is enough, anything else is a bonus
…💛💚💙…
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A Star on the Forehead said:
Yes, yes, yes! So right Yernasia. Blessings to you! ♥♥
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Cassa Bassa said:
I love the end quote, so true. Fear is immobilising.
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A Star on the Forehead said:
Thank you Cassa! Blessings! ♥♥
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delphini510 said:
You have me smiling, it must take courage to meet up with all these strangers and
suss them out.
It does sound as if you have some good meals in varying companies. Both guys sound
interesting I thought. 🙂
miriam
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A Star on the Forehead said:
Hi Miriam,
I don’t think I am that courageous. I do my research first, so by the time I meet most of them they don’t feel too much like a stranger.
I always find something enjoyable, the place, the meal, the conversation… there is always something good.
Thank you and blessings to you! ♥♥
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Gail Kaufman said:
Interesting shift – I always thought you were the eternal optimist
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A Star on the Forehead said:
Hi Gail,
I am! When I wrote it I did think to myself that it sounded negative.
I am just becoming choosier with my dates and my time 🙂
I still know my guy is out there, and I am intent on finding him.
Thank you and blessings! ♥♥
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chattykerry said:
I would love to spend a week in your shoes – so many wonderful dates. I started thinking about whether I would date my husband if I met him now instead of 40 years ago – probably? He scrubs up well and makes me laugh so much.
You only have an obligation to love yourself and enjoy the adventure. K x
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A Star on the Forehead said:
Hi Kerry,
Some weeks are exciting while others are full of nothing 🙂
It is great to realize that you guys would choose each other all over again (assuming he would choose you again also 😉
Sense of humor is big with me. I couldn’t be with somebody without it.
I love that, so I will continue loving myself as best as I can.
Thank you for the inspiration! Blessings! ♥♥
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chattykerry said:
LMAO – it never occurred to me that he wouldn’t choose me!!! I will have to ask him….😍
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A Star on the Forehead said:
of course he would choose you – he is no dummy after all!
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chattykerry said:
Ha, ha! 💖
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The V Pub said:
Well, the musician was *obviously* a good choice. 😀
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A Star on the Forehead said:
hahaha, I knew you would approve!
Blessings! ♥♥
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Cindy Georgakas said:
LAUGHING!
“Why spend the energy and waste the perfume? ”
Have them come to you in your exercise attire and sweat and make sure they bring a 5 star meal. 💖👏💖👏💖👏
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A Star on the Forehead said:
Actually, that is very close to what I want lol
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Jennifer Arimborgo said:
It is so very true that if you think you’re a young pup, you are!
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A Star on the Forehead said:
Hi Jennifer,
Yes, indeed! Mind over matter, always 🙂
Blessings! ♥♥
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Jennifer Arimborgo said:
Many blessings to you too!
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Joanne A said:
I love Maya Angelou, and I love that you’re at trying to get out. I’m glad that you know what you want and aren’t settling for less. Don’t give up.🙂💖
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A Star on the Forehead said:
Thank you Joanne!
I am never giving up 🙂 He is out there.
Blessings! ♥♥
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Joanne A said:
Definitely! I love your positive energy!!💗
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