As I was deciding what to say if the attorney asked me on a 4th date, he kindly resolved things for me with this text:
I cannot pretend to feel something I don’t. If a date is paying attention they will know exactly how I feel without my having to say a single word. My body, my face, my actions and inactions betray my feelings from the get go. I am very transparent.
Although I imagined he had realized that there was zero chemistry, I still thought perhaps he would ask me out again. Some people are oblivious. I am grateful he wrote, so I didn’t have to feel I was letting him down.
It was fun being out with an old-fashioned gentleman. I hope he finds a nice lady. I am just a bit surprised that he texted and didn’t call. I guess he is not that old-fashioned after all.
“Rushing into action, you fail.
Trying to grasp things, you lose them.
Forcing a project to completion,
you ruin what was almost ripe.
Therefore the Master takes action
by letting things take their course.
He remains as calm at the end
as at the beginning.
He has nothing,
thus has nothing to lose.
What he desires is non-desire;
what he learns is to unlearn.
He simply reminds people
of who they have always been.
He cares about nothing but the Tao.
Thus he can care for all things.”
― Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching
Writing to Freedom said:
A nice mutual resolution. Happy Thanksgiving Ana!
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A Star on the Forehead said:
Indeed! Thank you and a blessed one to you as well!
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kegarland said:
This is such a mature way to handle it, instead of ghosting, I suppose.
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A Star on the Forehead said:
Hi KE,
I agree. There is no wondering, there is no expecting to be contacted.
Blessings!
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Sheree said:
Time to move on by mutual consent
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A Star on the Forehead said:
Hi Sheree,
indeed, it is so awesome when both parties agree.
Blessings!
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Kat said:
“ My body, my face, my actions and inactions betray my feelings from the get go”
Love that about you. Your honesty is so…delightful!
And I chuckled at ‘guess he’s not that old fashioned after all’. I won’t say I understand it either, but I don’t generally understand humans on ‘a good day’ so…
Love and light to you Ana. Never change who you are ♥️😊
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A Star on the Forehead said:
Thank you my darling far away friend!
I feel your love and acceptance.
Blessings to you!
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Cassa Bassa said:
When it’s mutual feelings, it’s always better.
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A Star on the Forehead said:
Indeed! The best resolution!.
Blessings!
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Happy Panda said:
Classy enough to not ghost. I also like that message he sent – so well drafted and straight to the point. I’m copying that to use when I need to terminate things! 🙂
Hope you both find people you do have chemistry with.
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A Star on the Forehead said:
He went straight to the point, and I do appreciate that!
You may copy his directness, but add your own flavor to it.
Thank you and blessings to you!
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DutchIl said:
Thank you for sharing!!.. perhaps he is on his search of that special someone.. at least he is honest with you and letting you be free to venture down your own path… “If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they’re yours; if they don’t, they never were.” (Richard Bach)… 🙂
Until we meet again…
May the dreams you hold dearest
Be those which come true
May the kindness you spread
Keep returning to you
(Irish Saying)
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A Star on the Forehead said:
I agree Larry. I was not interested, and want a way to let him down easy. So I am glad I didn’t have to.
Blessings to you!
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msw blog said:
That was one formal text, on his behalf. What happened to just be wanting to be friends? After all everything doesn’t need to be a “love connection” sometime it’s just fun to hang out with someone you have something in common with.
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A Star on the Forehead said:
I feel like you do. He had already mentioned at the very beginning that he is not on the dating site to make friends. He said he had enough friends. While I am not on the dating site to make friends, I am always happy to make new friends and just hang out.
I feel I grow and learn with each new friend.
Thank you and blessings to you!
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utesmile said:
At least he is honest and let’s you know instead of letting you hang on or disappear. Well done for that to the man.
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A Star on the Forehead said:
Hi Ute,
I definitely appreciate knowing exactly where one stands. There is no guessing or expectations.
Blessings!
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festo_sanjo said:
That’s just a best way to resolve something that’s seems to not work out. If there’s no reciprocation then it’s not worthwhile.
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A Star on the Forehead said:
Correct! All is well that ends well. We tried and it wasn’t there.
Blessings to you!
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The V Pub said:
I’m happy for his honesty, but the dude can certainly could use a course in creative writing.
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A Star on the Forehead said:
haha, I have to agree – he didn’t have a way with words
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snakesinthegrass2014 said:
I know… I’m stuck on the word “terminating.” I’m not sure I could ever use it like that in this context. It’s somewhat passive-aggressive.
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A Star on the Forehead said:
indeed, very weird choice of words. Perhaps because he is an attorney, he thought he was negotiating a settlement or something. lol
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Cindy Georgakas said:
And presto the unsaid lingering was brought to light and resolved. Love it that but his words left me cold “I am terminating communication”.. Sounds like a bot …. click. Now I question how much of a gentleman he actually was. 💗
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A Star on the Forehead said:
Now that you mention it I kinda agree. It wouldn’t be my choice of words, but I am happy that he stepped and resolved things.
Blessings to you!
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Cindy Georgakas said:
hahahaha… it takes all kinds and at least you didn’t have to do it.. especially after all of those yummy meals.. lol. Maybe he’ll read here and learn for next time. 💗
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A Star on the Forehead said:
I can only imagine what my dates would say if they read my observations here. It would be interesting to hear their side of it.
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Cindy Georgakas said:
Oh to be a fly on the wall!❤️😂
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dfolstad58 said:
All’s well that ends well and in this case it’s because it’s ended. I imagine his language is effected by your years writing contracts. He is the Terminator – but will his next message warn of a sequel saying “I’ll be baaak” – imagine the movie accent. ♥
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A Star on the Forehead said:
Hahaha, the more I read his text, the more it strikes me as being a bit robotic.
But I am glad it is over and he was the one to end on his terms.
Thank you and blessings to you!
ps. I did imagine you saying it in that accent and it made me laugh 🙂
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hbsuefred said:
Ana-How do you come up with all the fantastic quotes you use in your posts?
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A Star on the Forehead said:
I cannot tell you, it is top secret!!
Lol just kidding, I just Google whatever subject I am interested in.
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robbie said:
Hi Ana and just seeing this now. Nothing like a lawyer to talk about “terminating communication”!! LOL. It’s too funny. I did note in your post that you said: “If a date is paying attention they will know exactly how I feel without my having to say a single word. ” I think that you may be giving men too much credit. Our antennae for this stuff is painfully poor. Many guys, myself included, read signs badly and it’s far easier for us to have a plain language statement at some time from you about how you are feeling. No games. Truth. As I get older I appreciate the straight, authentic, honest, to-the-point statement of feelings better than me guessing. Happy holiday season! Perhaps 2023 holds the key for a lasting relationship! Cheers!
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A Star on the Forehead said:
Hi Robbie,
haha, I had to laugh with the comment about giving men too much credit.
I don’t think I am playing games or that I expect men to read my mind. In the past guys would say that I was not giving them a fair chance by not going on a second date.
So now I give love a chance by going on more than 1 date. But if the chemistry was not there on the first date, my body, face and demeanor will often betray me on following dates.
Given a choice, I believe, all my dates would rather go on more than 1date on the hope that something will develop.
Thank you for giving me your view. It is important to me not to use people, so you make me want to be even more direct in my dealings/dating.
Blessings to you!
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