Tags
acceptance or rejection, extra sensitive, implied vs. inferred, no extra meanings, Texting miscommunications, to hug or not to hug
“I had embraced you…
long before i hugged you.”
― A Thousand Flamingos
Mr. Stocks and I continue to text. Unfortunately we often have some sort of miscommunication or misunderstanding. Now, I come to find out, not only my words, but also my actions are being misunderstood.
I thought it was a pleasant hug goodbye, with a potential future. He thought it was a rejection.
The texting starts when he is letting me know about his decision about a job offer that he had been considering.
I am not sure what the next chapter will be, but I am proceeding with caution. I don’t want to hurt him or get hurt, or worst of all, damage the friendship.
I think he is more sensitive than other guys. Or perhaps more insecure, and more afraid of getting hurt.
“It is an absolute human certainty that no one can know his own beauty or perceive a sense of his own worth until it has been reflected back to him in the mirror of another loving, caring human being.” ― The Secret of Staying in Love
Blessed with a Star on the Forehead 
Hugs ❤ xo
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I thought a hug meant unlimited use of the persons motor vehicle, the right to crash at their house without limits, and a shopping spree at Bloomingdales.
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ah, and don’t forget Godiva chocolates somewhere in there 😉
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😂
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Hugs are for friends. Maybe he expected an eye lock moment, a pause, then a passionate kiss?
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You are probably right. He expected more. Perhaps a longer and tighter hug 🙂
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It’s still the early stages, Ana (I mean, with meeting in person)! Even with people we’ve known for years, it’s so hard to get into their heads. I’ve given up. I think that all you can do is do what you’re doing: be your honest, beautiful self. Everything else will fall into place!
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Hi Stacy,
I totally agree. I have to continue doing what I am doing, instead of attempting to figure out what he is thinking or will be thinking. If I try to do that it will make for a very awkward and not fun meeting next time (if there is ever a next time).
Thank you and blessings! ♥♥
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I think he is ready for a relationship. He’s trying to see if you would be interested, you keep saying friendship… maybe he’s hoping that might change as you get to know each other “in person.” My daughter met a guy before COVID. NOT her type she said. COVID struck, they were both alone, so he started visiting “as friends” almost every night after work. A year later, they started dating… NOW they are officially boyfriend/girlfriend. They realized they had a lot in common and starting as friends was good, because they didn’t rush into anything, got to know each other on LONG bike rides/hikes, took some local trips together. This summer went to Italy together. SO — just saying, LIFE w/COVID has made life interesting. NEVER know what might happen with HIM or the ladybug you will make might bring someone NEW. Keep smiling, being happy — THERE IS SOMEONE OUT THERE!
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Hi Monica,
Thank you for sharing your daughter’s story. I love it!
The jury is still out on this guy, but in the meantime, I am following your daughter and continuing the friendship, hopefully with more in-person encounters.
It is hard to say if he is ready or not, and to be honest, sometimes I am not even sure if I am. So one day at a time.
I know there is someone out there…well, it better be 🙂
The ladybug will bring out a new chapter. I am hoping to start it in a couple of weeks.
Wishing you a blessed weekend! ♥♥
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Thank you for sharing!!… your heart will know when the time is right and with who.. perhaps he may be following his mind instead of his heart… 🙂
“A home that is built with patience, understanding and love will withstand the strongest winds of difficulties and conflict , a home built with a closed mind, insincerity or haste will collapse in a mere breeze of discontent.” (Larry “Dutch” Woller )…. 🙂
Until we meet again..
May your troubles be less
Your blessings be more
And nothing but happiness
Come through your door
(Irish Saying)
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Hi Larry,
He has been hard to read. Somedays he is all heart, and other days he is all mind. And stil some other days he is in a somber sad mood that is even harder to read and deal with.
I love what you said about building a relationship with patience!! So wise and on point!!
Thank you so much for that!!
Blessings! ❤❤
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and the plot thickens Ana but where to next the ice cream parlor or the bar. hmmmm hugs certain anywhere and my hunch is he wants to take it from hugs to kissing but I get your hesitation. as for my daughter’s generation they say, I kiss him right away to see if I even want to date them again unless of course they are of no interest at all. Maybe he’s after the kiss.. KISS (keep it simple stupid) follow your gut like you always do 💖💖❣️
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Until he decides on the next ice cream or drink, I am keeping my options open. I agree with the youth, it is all about the kiss 🙂
Following my gut always, and trying to be still enough to actually hear it.
Thank you and blessings to you! ♥♥
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That’s the spirit.. I can always vou on you to follow your heart.
Oh good.. confirmed.. I am old.. lol.
It won’t steer you wrong
1💖💖
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Screenshots in a writeup is totally a next level idea. Really liked what you have done with the article. Unique combination of photos and scripts. Keep bringing more.
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Thank you so much Sebastian! It just felt quick and easier to just post the screenshots 🙂
Blessings to you! ♥♥
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How much easier life could be in this dating world if people stated what they honestly felt rather than interpreting language. Texting, incidentally, is HORRIBLE for expressing feelings. Our own filter with intonation and our reading likely won’t match the intention of the writer. So we assume. And act on these assumptions which often get mirrored back to us. As a guy, and in reading your responses, they quick and short and (my reading) was a bit dismissive. He won’t have much encouragement to open up much more without that ice cream or drink, which I would whole heartedly encourage. Meet face to face. Chat. See body language. Share feelings and desired next steps. Less texting more phone calls, if not in person. Only you know what you want, and where you want to go. He can’t guess at it. Most men can’t anyway – we are poor interpreters of women’s signals. Best of luck.
P.S. Hugs in real life are way better than virtual ones.
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Hi Robbie,
I am sorry for the delay. Your were in the Spam folder 😦
You are so right, specially with the texting between Mr. Stocks and I. Because of all our miscommunications I do try to keep my replies short and to the point. I am a talker/texter, I can go on and on, but it is all normally misunderstood.
Also, I decided not to dedicate too much energy to him. This is over 5 years in the making. I imagined that once we met he would know what he wanted. Every time I mention anything, he is feeling down and don’t feel like facing the world. And I don’t want to go to his house, as he has hinted.
He knows I would be interested in meeting up again, so I don’t feel like pushing him. I would resent him later if I felt we were together because I pushed him.
He has issues that he needs to deal with first if he wants to do. I thought he was over them. When we met he said he was over them, but clearly he is not. Or perhaps he is just not interested enough.
I am his friend and will always be. If he wants something he needs to step up.
Thank you so much for giving me your male point of view 🙂 and yes, anything real life is much better than virtual.
Blessings to you! ♥♥
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