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Colombian food, Colorado dreaming, local restaurants, New Rochelle and Larchmont, outdoor seating, slow and steady, Slowing down, Turkish food
“Dinner is not what you do in the evening before something else. Dinner is the evening.”―
On Wednesday night G (the man I mentioned I dated 15 years ago), my sister and I went to Turquoise, a Turkish restaurant in Larchmont, NY. The food and service were impeccable. We all shared zucchini pancakes and shrimp (they did, I don’t eat shellfish). For the entree my sister and I had grilled fish with spinach and rice. G had lamb with couscous. I had rose wine, my sister had a bay breeze cocktail and G had a Turkish beer.
G and my sister got along well. We were joking and laughing the entire evening. After dinner he drove us home. My sister offered him some German chocolate cake and he accepted, so he came up to my apartment to have it. I didn’t feel like already having him in my apartment but it was okay. He sat and ate a couple of slices of cake, then left.
My friend Mary from Rhode Island had baked the cake for her friend’s birthday but because the cake fell apart she was too embarrassed to give it to her. When we unexpectedly showed up in RI she offered it to me when I mentioned chocolate cake while we were having lunch. It didn’t look pretty but it was delicious.
“It is not time or opportunity that is to determine intimacy;—it is disposition alone. Seven years would be insufficient to make some people acquainted with each other, and seven days are more than enough for others.” ―
On Thursday night G and I went to the Cheesecake Factory in White Plains for dinner. I had this bacon cheeseburger with sweet potatoes fries that was so yummy, I am dreaming about it now. Their bread basket is just heavenly.
I just need to start taking pictures of my food. I keep forgetting 😦
He wanted me to go to his apartment after dinner with some excuse that I needed to try peanut butter and jelly sandwich, something he eats daily. I never had it before, and have no interest in starting it now. I declined. I feel he was disappointed since that was the best excuse he could come up with to have me in his apartment. I care and yet don’t care about his disappointment.
G asked me where I wanted to go on Saturday. I mentioned that I hadn’t agreed to go out on Saturday. I was honest with him about my feelings and wants, and really about not knowing exactly what I want.
“As long as you keep secrets and suppress information, you are fundamentally at war with yourself…The critical issue is allowing yourself to know what you know. That takes an enormous amount of courage.”―
I told him that I thought he is going too fast too soon. He wants to go out every single day, and that is way too much. I am a Horse in the Chinese horoscope, I don’t like fences or the feeling of being tie down. Or perhaps the issue is that I am afraid of getting hurt. Or hurting him. Anytime someone seems to be all in the way he is I fear for their feelings.
Or perhaps still, the issue is just that I don’t like him enough. I think when I meet the right person there will not be “too much too soon”, there will not be hesitation, there will not be confusion.
He agreed to slow down and said: “tell me if you want to go out on Saturday, or any other day”. I said ok.
I didn’t want to see him this weekend, but it turned into a very busy weekend anyway. I went to the office on Saturday to have the new shades installed and catch up on a couple of things. What was supposed to be a couple of hours went several hours. For dinner we met a friend at The Colombian House in New Rochelle. On Sunday we met another friend for brunch at Chat 19 in Larchmont, then we went shopping at Marshalls, my sister loves that store.
I have been going out more to local restaurants. I am trying to help them out and leaving bigger tips. We already have a lot vacant storefronts in my city I am hoping not have many more added to it. Many small business will not be able to survive.
Yesterday G. asked if I wanted to go out a night this week. I said yes and that I would let him know which night. I am thinking Thursday since that is my favorite night to go out.
I really don’t know too much about G, other than he is way to eager to see me. We only went out a few times 15 years ago. I would like to be friends and get to know him slowly. But right at this moment if pressed for an answer I would say friendship over relationship.
“The power of getting to know one another is so immense, eclipsed only by first getting to know ourselves.”―
beth said:
I just went through this a few months back, and just wasn’t feeling it, though he was all in. I told him I wanted to take it slow, and see if it grew, but finally I felt guilty like I was leading him on, even though I never pretended anything was different from how it really was. I know myself and know that when I do feel that for someone I don’t feel crowded and don’t hesitate to move ahead. he told me that I wasn’t capable of love, but I know I am, just not with him.
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A Star on the Forehead said:
Hi Beth,
This is so on point. Exactly how I feel.
I want to give us a chance and get to know him, but I fear that time will not make a difference and it will only lead him on.
We are capable and deserving of love, but we cannot force it and be stuck with the wrong person.
The right one is out there and will show up sooner or later.
Blessings to you! ♥♥
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beth said:
good luck to both of us!
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A Star on the Forehead said:
yes, we need it 🙂
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Cassa Bassa said:
What better to build a lasting love on a solid friendship foundation.
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A Star on the Forehead said:
Absolutely. Slow and steady.
Blessings to you Cassa! ♥♥
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Eliza said:
Can you become friends rather than build a romantic relationship?
Love light and glitter
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A Star on the Forehead said:
Hi Eliza
I am going to propose that next time I see him. We will see what he says …
Thank you and blessings to you! ♥♥
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utesmile said:
Slow is good and shows the real man. I am with my man 6 years ( that is slow 🙂 ) and we love each other and are happy. Probably we will get together in the 7th year. 🙂
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A Star on the Forehead said:
Hi Ute,
wow, it has been 6 years already!! Good for you both to go at your pace. 7 may be the lucky number! 🙂
Blessings to you both! ♥♥
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The V Pub said:
I’m weary when someone seems too enthusiastic about me. At first it’s complimentary, and then I’m faced with the notion that it might not really be about me at all. Slowing down and feeling groovy is much better. 🙂
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A Star on the Forehead said:
I agree with you. If it is too much and too soon I start feeling that they are just needy and desperate and would be all over anyone that paid them any attention. I have been trying to be less critical and more open minded in those views but still it nags at me.
Slow and steady… Let’s see if he will go along with that or it will be bye bye G…
Blessings to you! ♥♥
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Fen said:
I feel like i’m learning how to date through your experiences hahaha love your posts! Good luck to you!
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A Star on the Forehead said:
I am not sure if I can be a good teacher in that area but I have written several posts about it, such as:
https://blessedwithastarontheforehead.com/2018/01/26/not-just-surviving-but-thriving-while-online-dating/ and
Thank you for the good wishes and blessings to you! ♥♥
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Fen said:
You’re welcome! I’ll give these a read as well 😊
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K E Garland said:
I agree. If you really liked G, then this wouldn’t really be a thing.
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A Star on the Forehead said:
Hi KE
You hit the nail on the head! And yet I will go through dates and obsess over it to only make that same decision in the end. All for the slim chance that my gut feeling is wrong and the idea that I tried 😦
Blessings to you! ♥♥
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