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“Many things interested her and nothing satisfied her entirely.”
― Ivan Turgenev

Do you remember my friend A, the natural doctor?  It had been a long time since we had spoken on the phone.  I met him on a dating site in 2015. We had a couple of dates and then he disappeared.  When he resurfaced we started going out again but only as friends.  We became great friends.

For awhile we had a Sunday routine of going to the gym, then the sauna, then going for a healthy meal.  Then he got busy, I got busy.  Then he got a girlfriend, and became even busier.  Our friendship just became a text every now and then, which he initiated because, to be honest, I am the worst at keeping in touch. 

“Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.”― Mark Twain

The other day he reached out and we scheduled a call to catch up.  It was fun.  We spoke about everything, including as:

  • Canceled trips: He was going to Paris and Italy in April with his girlfriend.  I was going to Brazil in April.
  • Supplements and vitamins: I have been taking pretty much the same ones I listed here: https://blessedwithastarontheforehead.com/2018/08/08/vitamins-supplements-and-positive-thinking/.  He is the one that has prescribed most of those to help me with my gum issues. He mentioned that he is now also taking Blue-Green Algae and raved about it.  I need to look into that.
  • Real Estate: He is talking about buying an apartment.  He lives in the same town I do.  He has been renting but his rent has been increased so he thinks that now it is time to buy.  I am all for buying and stop paying rent.
  • Books: The list of books that I have started and have yet to finish is endless.  I realized that in going on and on about all my books I never asked him about what he is reading now.  He did mention that one of the ones that I have yet to finish is his all-time favorite book: The Untethered Soul by Michael A. Singer.
  • Plans for when the quarantine is over:  We both agree that we miss getting massages and going out to eat the most. 
  • and among many other topics, he asked me one question that stumped me:  What about dating?

“Is it that you don’t like people, or that you just grow tired of them and can’t for the life of you remember why you ever found them interesting?”― André Aciman, Find Me

What about dating indeed.  I haven’t thought about dating at all, since M. and I parted ways, a couple of months ago.  I was about to take a break from dating when I met him. I deleted my profiles and gave us a chance.  It didn’t work.  Any time a relationship, or just a date doesn’t end up as I wished,  I don’t despair.  I feel it brings me a step closer to the one time that it will work. I always walk away with something, some lesson.  This time was no different.

“And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.”― Haruki Murakami

There were red flags.  I ignored them and hoped for the best. I erroneously thought I could have a relationship with a die-hard Trump fan.  I thought that as long as we didn’t discuss politics we would be okay. Wrong! Politics, specially nowadays need to be discussed, even if just to agree to disagree.  

https://blessedwithastarontheforehead.com/2020/03/14/loves-trump-hates-immigrants-and-is-clueless-about-sex-not-my-match-the-mistakes-i-made-and-lessons-i-learned-in-this-short-lived-relationship/

When it all came to a head I knew I was ready for that break.  Then quarantine hit, and on top of that I got busy with working on getting my new office set up.

Dating took a back sit.  Still, it is only a matter of time until I get back to online dating.  I enjoy meeting new people, the flirty back and forth, the first date, and all the infinite possibilities.  Above all, I will forever look for my Mr. Right until I find him, if he doesn’t find me first.  So sooner or later I will be describing first dates again.

But for now I am just too busy, too lazy, too distracted or perhaps just not that interested.

“Be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind. Talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person you meet. Make all your friends feel there is something special in them. Look at the sunny side of everything. Think only the best, be as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own.

Forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future. Give everyone a smile. Spend so much time improving yourself that you have no time left to criticize others. Be too big for worry and too noble for anger.”― Norman Vincent Peale