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After a couple of days of silence, my phone now rings once a day.  No, it is not Prince Charming. The caller hangs up when I answer.  Each time is a different phone number with my same area code.  I stopped answering. Problem solved. For now.

I had been feeling unwanted but Delta Airlines came to the rescue with an email to inform me that I have been promoted to Gold Medallion Member.  I don’t think it means much more than my old Silver status, but I still feel special.  I am easy.

“Just as a snake sheds its skin, we must shed our past over and over again.” ― Gautama Buddha

On Friday I got an email from an email address I didn’t recognize.  This person called me by name and wanted to reconnect.  As I searched my inbox I was able to find one email that we had exchanged in 2015 that didn’t say much but it seemed that we had exchanged a lot flirtatious messages in the past.

After a few back and forth emails where I kept asking for more information it was clear that he was intent on not telling me who he was.  I was curious and didn’t like being in the dark and feeling vulnerable.  I was tempted to continue emailing to try to figure out who he was.

There was curiosity, but there was also hope.   Hope as in the idea of romance and fairy-tale.  It goes like this: this charming admirer from the past realized that he cannot live without me. He comes back, sweeps me off of my feet and we live happily ever after.

I was curious but had no interest on playing his one-sided game.  I stopped replying.  The real power is not in having the last word, but in fighting the urge to engage.  I no longer need to have the last word. I refuse to waste my time, energy, heart and hope on stupidity and distractions.

There is a reason this guy was left in 2015.  I don’t need to be reminded of what that reason was.  It is always tempting to revisit the past.  Even if dysfunctional it is always comforting and familiar.  Happily, this time I am choosing the future, not the past.

As I often say:  Let’s make new mistakes, learn new lessons!

“Can’t you give me brains?” asked the Scarecrow.
“You don’t need them. You are learning something every day. A baby has brains, but it doesn’t know much. Experience is the only thing that brings knowledge, and the longer you are on earth the more experience you are sure to get.” ― L. Frank Baum

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