Tags
buying or leasing, car decisions, ex-boyfriends, ghosts from the past, Honda HRV, It is my birthday, Jeep Renegade, revisiting the past, Subaru Crosstrek, to tell or not to tell
“It’s no use going back to yesterday, because I was a different person then.” – Lewis Carroll
Another birthday and a ghost’s visit!
My birthday came and went on March 28, 2017. It was uneventful. Cupcakes at work and that is it. The “that is it” is not disappointment, it is just what it is. I was going to treat myself to a massage but it was rainy and cold and I got home and got lazy.
Many of my friends didn’t remember it, and really, I am ok with that, but everyone likes to be remembered. I forget everyone’s birthday so I never expect anyone to remember mine.
Ex, the one that was the cause of this blog starting sent me 2 emails.
He sent me a long one the day before my birthday. And on the day he sent me a shorter one talking about how we met. Saying how grateful he was that I said yes and he and his son asked me out to lunch. I would find it poetic if I was not so annoyed at his audacity.
Why? Why? Why?
Of course I didn’t reply and I will not ever. It is in the past, I have forgiven and moved on.
***
To be or not to be honest
All has been quiet in the dating area. I have had a date here and there but nothing that I thought it was worth pursuing.
The last guy that asked me on a second date I turned him down even though the first date was a lot fun. It was days before my birthday and he even bought me a small gift at the gift shop at the Botanical Garden.
When he asked me on a second date I was honest and said he was great but that I didn’t feel there would be any romance in our future. He never replied.
Should I have gone on a second date knowing that I had no interest in him romantically? To me that would be deceitful. But perhaps if I had gone on a second date it would show to him that at least I had made more of an effort.
I never want to waste anybody’s time under false pretenses.
“It’s discouraging to think how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit.” – Noel Coward
***
Buy or Lease
I am now serious about getting a second car. I don’t need 2 cars, but for now I don’t want to sell my 30 year old baby (560SL). I didn’t get a second car yet because I am having trouble locating a garage or parking space to store my current car.
I think I have decided on the Honda HRV (a tad smaller than the CRV). The other 2 cars in the running were the Subaru Cross-trek and the Jeep Renegade. The reasons why those were the cars in the running is because I wanted a small (narrow) car that would drive well in the winter.
I can’t decide if I should buy or lease. Psychologically I always liked the idea of owning things but this time I am thinking of leasing.
The pros for me about leasing:
- Smaller monthly payments
- After 3 years return and get a new one, so I don’t have to deal with repairs as a car gets old
The pros for me about buying:
- After 3 years I don’t have to worry about returning the car and coming up with another down payment for another lease
- At the end of 5 years or less (if that is how long I finance) the car is mine
Any advice? Opinions?
***
To tell or not to tell?
The other day I was with a co-worker at the bagel store as a man passed by me I noticed his zipper was open and I mentioned it to him.
My co-worker, who was a male, looked embarrassed and told me that I should have not said anything. I asked him: If your zipper was open do you want someone to tell you or not and he said no. I, on the hand, always want someone to tell me if my zipper is open, if I have food on my teeth or any other potentially embarrassing situation.
What at about you? Do you want someone to tell you or would you rather find out later on your own?
***
“Attitude is a choice. Happiness is a choice. Optimism is a choice. Kindness is a choice. Giving is a choice. Respect is a choice. Whatever choice you make makes you. Choose wisely.” – Roy T. Bennett
YellowCable said:
I think when you lease a car, there is an upper limit on the mileages you can put on the care. In addition, I believe you will need to have an initial down payment to start a new contract. I do not think that is refundable. This is the cost that you also need to factor in every least term.
In my opinion, I would like some one to tell me if my zipper is opened. The sooner I know the better – the less people seeing or perhaps much less chance of people (such as your boss) see you that way. I would genuinely thank the person who tell me (does not matter what gender the person is).
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A Star on the Forehead said:
Yes, the limit is usually 12,000 miles per year, which works well for me since since I drive very little, so I would never go over that. But that is something that people that drive a lot should consider.
Down payment is another consideration but if you don’t want to pay it or don’t have it they will break it down over the length of the lease and add to the payment.
I guess what someone needs to consider is do they rather give a large down payment and have smaller monthly payments or do they want to pay a small or no down payment and higher monthly payments.
So many choices, so many decisions, my head is spinning again lol
Thank you for the comment and wishing you a blessed weekend! 🙂
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YellowCable said:
Please have a great weekend too.
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A Star on the Forehead said:
I will do my best! Thank you! 🙂
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Victo Dolore said:
Happy belated birthday!
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A Star on the Forehead said:
Thank you so much! 🙂 Blessings!
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MyLittleBird123 said:
I always enjoy your posts. They are reality driven and you talk to some of my concerns like an old car that is going to have to be replaced soon and where is the money going to come from and should I lease or buy. I’m leaning toward buying. God knows how long I will have to drive the new one. Widowhood has its draw backs and perks.
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A Star on the Forehead said:
Thank you so much for reading! Being alone does indeed have pros and cons. I would love to have a man to makes all these car decisions for me, but at the same time just having a man doesn’t mean that he will want or even be good at making such decisions 😦 In the end all we have is ourselves, so go and enjoy buying yourself this treat, I am sure you are more than deserving! Whatever many years you have to drive it, make those the best years of your life!! Wishing you a blessed weekend! 🙂
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elizabetcetera said:
Don’t reply to that ex. Why open a can of worms. Most of the time people are in our PAST for a reason. Yes! The audacity!
Had to look up 560 SL. Hubby new what it was. My 30 year high school reunion is coming up … Maybe your car can go in my place because I’m sure as heck not going!
So you asked for an opinion … Lexus… Like used from CarMax baby! Between hubby and I we have had 4 Lexuses. Love love the reliability. I will never own a German or German brand car again. With the cost of repairs and maintenance I could have sent both my cats to Harvard! Anyway, do what is most fitting to your values … Like glamor or fuel economy or reliability or whatever! Pick your car that way. I cringe at leasing cars BUT that’s me. You gotta do what you can afford, etc.
Honesty. We’ll, some people could use some kindness and grace when they are being honest. Lies are sometimes what we want to hear so we don’t challenge things and we naturally are repelled by pain.
Hmmm … Telling a stranger about his fly? I think you did the right thing. Heck guys pee right next to each other in public urinals! You didn’t tell that guy is pokey Joe was about to make an appearance to be malicious or embarrass him — you told him in good faith to help maintain his dignity. And thank you … I don’t want to see any guy’s Willie unsolicited! Actually you performed a public service! Kudos to you!
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A Star on the Forehead said:
HI Elizabet
I am definitely not replying to Ex. As you said, why re-start something that was left in the past? There is a reason it is in the past.
hahaha, yeah my car will go in your place, or not, if it starts. Now I am curious as to why you don’t want to go. In Brazil we don’t really have reunions, but the idea is interesting. At the same time, I often prefer to meet new people then see the ones from my past.
Lexus would definitely be my choice if I didn’t’ have a budget in mind. At this point I just want to have something for the next couple of years so that is why a Honda and a lease seems the way to go. But I am still debating… I am going to check CarMax!
Lately I seem to encounter many moments when the easiest thing to do is to look the other way, but often I don’t go by what is easiest but I do by what my heart and conscience want.
“Pokey Joe” lol, and I agree, I did perform a public service, as I left this out, but the button was also undone so it looked like his pants were 2 seconds away from falling.
Thank you for your valuable input! Wishing you a blessed weekend! 🙂
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elizabetcetera said:
Sorry for the typos … My phone is a control freak and likes to autocorrect ad nauseum!
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Anne Mehrling said:
I would rather know if something is wrong with my appearance. I guess I’d want to know, even if I couldn’t fix it. You’ll never know how the stranger felt, but I think you did the right thing.
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A Star on the Forehead said:
I am the same way. I rather be told and be embarrassed for a second than spend the whole day with people staring. I will continue speaking up. Thank you and have a blessed weekend! 🙂
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Pink Ninja said:
It’s funny how our lives parallel! My ex hubby did the same thing emailing me reminiscing about the past. Eesh.
According to my male counterpart, your significant other can tell you if your fly is down but a stranger doing so would make it embarrassing, and make him wonder why one is looking down there. Bahaha…maybe this would be similar to if a guy were to tell me my undergarments were showing versus a female or significant other. Haha…but whatever, you had good intentions!
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The V Pub said:
Go figure. I randomly select an older post of yours and part of the post has to do with Mr. Tips trying to escape. And yes, I would have mentioned it, too.
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A Star on the Forehead said:
Mr. Tips has a knack for sniffing out the hidden to find his kind lol
or is it you Rob that has the magic touch? 🙂
Blessings to you today! ♥♥♥
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The V Pub said:
I don’t know how well he can sniff, but maybe it’s the open door that he likes. 😉 ❤
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A Star on the Forehead said:
No one likes a cage, so I do understand the little guy 🙂
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The V Pub said:
He’s a bit sensitive about about descriptors, such as little. And yes, he dislikes cages so much.
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A Star on the Forehead said:
oops, please forgive me. “Little” was a figure of speech and in no way meant to describe Mr. Tips. 🙂
In the future perhaps I should use: Handsome, larger than life, smart as a whip, etc 🙂
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The V Pub said:
Handsome and larger than life would be something that he would appreciate. Smart as a whip? Even he knows that there’s not much of a brain in that little head.
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A Star on the Forehead said:
omg Rob! What are you trying to do. You just called Mr. Tips brainless and little in the same sentence.
I am going to argue that somehow, even without a brain, he gets his way a lot of times. Power of persuasion?
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The V Pub said:
Brainless – yes. Gets in the way? At times, acting out on his own. Persuasion? Hmmmmm….
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A Star on the Forehead said:
I say: “Gets his way”. You say: “gets in the way”. He says: “I am the way”
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The V Pub said:
Don’t go there! It had taken him a long time to get out of his Darth Vader character. I am your father and all that. Such is life with a light saber.
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A Star on the Forehead said:
hahaha, sorry! I will stop giving him ideas of grandeur!
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The V Pub said:
Thank you. The issue is not so much his ego, rather that – at times – he wants to go solo. I can’t tell you the pain that this would cause me.
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A Star on the Forehead said:
I believe you. You don’t break up duos, they never survive apart!!
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The V Pub said:
Especially in this case.
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A Star on the Forehead said:
lol 🙂
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The V Pub said:
😉
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